‘Bah Humbug to Santa Granda – I admit I got into spirit of Christmas three months early’

Political hack Kevin Maguire steps distant from the time occupation astatine Parliament and reveals different broadside to him arsenic Granda Kev. This week, Mr Bah Humbug admits he's a changed antheral this Christmas since the grandkids arrived

THEY whitethorn beryllium loves of my beingness but I’ll ne'er forgive the grandkids for giving maine Christmas shopping anxiety. Hitherto I was blessed with a precocious dash-and-grab attack to buying presents, leaving purchases to the past minute.

Every store assistant’s imagination is the Christmas Eve precocious day hopeless bloke caller from the pub. Occasionally, that was maine and nary Tiny Tim of excavation ever woke connected the 25th to an bare stocking.

It’s a story Oliver Cromwell banned Christmas but curbing carnal and sensual delights was a Puritan goal, replacing drunkenness and debauchery with fasting and prayer. Unremarkably, this proved unpopular with the large unwashed during an different regrettably ­­short-lived Republic of 1649-60.

And who could blasted communal people brightening miserable winters – thicker gruel and snogging toothless neighbours nether mistletoe a much uplifting solemnisation than hunger and boredom.

Yet successful the improbable lawsuit I was to beryllium Cromwell’s belated successor arsenic Lord Protector, apical of my decrees would person been banning decorations, festive pub menus, playing Slade’s Merry Xmas Everybody, John Lewis saccharine adverts and, particularly, buying until the commencement of December.

Until this year, I started seeing and acquiring gifts for Little L and Canny C from September. Santa Granda’s archetypal inkling of alteration was popping into an old-school Whitley Bay hardware store and walking retired with a contiguous for Little L.

I won’t spoil his astonishment by disclosing what was bought but the pressies volition thrill him and altered my approach, astir apt forever. Christmas truly is astir kids and grandkids, and the thought of Little L and Canny C smiling arsenic they excitedly unwrap their gifts near nether the histrion is heartwarming.

No mode is immoderate bearded, tubby, red-suited alien sneaking down a chimney stealing recognition for the fruits of my changed life.