Chelsea's demolition of hapless Noah leaves UEFA with questions to answer

CHELSEA 8-0 NOAH: Doubles from Joao Felix and Christopher Nkunku powered Chelsea to a hammering of Armenian minnows Noah successful an uncompetitive Conference League clash astatine Stamford Bridge

Home is were the ark is and, similar it said successful the brochure, the goals went successful two-by-two.

In betwixt pulses of little Armenian resistance, Joao Felix and Christopher Nkunku - 2 goals each, people - led a fearful annihilation astatine Stamford Bridge. None of Chelsea brag Enzo Maresca’s starting XI is expected to get the motion against Arsenal connected Sunday. And successful fairness, the Gunners whitethorn enactment up much of a fight.

But if this is elite European football, halt the world : We request to get off. In lawsuit you were wondering, Noah were named aft the biblical ark, which came to remainder connected Mount Ararat, a nationalist awesome of Armenia.

Unwisely, they did not little the gangplank connected Fulham Broadway and parkland the boat, and the floodgates soon opened. One day, UEFA whitethorn attraction to explicate however ritual slaughters similar this beryllium successful 1 of their mainstream competitions. It was embarrassing.

If the pairs of lions, tigers and elephants who boarded Noah’s monsoon cruise had known it would extremity similar this, they would person waited for the adjacent ferry. Noah and their 3,300-capacity Abovyan stadium bash not beryllium astatine this level.

Nor bash Chelsea, whose beingness successful the Europa Conference League lone goes to amusement however debased you tin spell by spending £1 cardinal to decorativeness seventh. As for the shot itself, Maresca handed a archetypal commencement to 18-year-old Tyrique George, and the young winger did fine.

But successful his wildest reveries helium could not person dreamed of being afforded an full postcode to himself connected his afloat debut. And the goals? Tosin Adarabioyo’s header from Enzo Fernandez’s right-wing country and Marc Guiu, seizing connected Goncalo Silva’s kamikaze pass, opened their accounts for Chelsea wrong 13 minutes.

Then Axel Disasi, stooping to caput location different Fernandez corner, made it 3 earlier Joao Felix dinked a bully decorativeness implicit Noah keeper Ognjen Chancharevich. That was 4-0 aft 21 minutes.

Chelsea’s grounds 13-0 triumph successful Europe, against Luxembourg stooges Jeunesse Hautcharage successful the Cup Winners Cup 53 years ago, already seemed wrong range. Noah were truthful mediocre that adjacent £88 cardinal misfit Mykhailo Mudryk got successful connected the enactment six minutes earlier the interruption - a rasping 20-yard changeable into the apical country - earlier Felix grabbed his 2nd 90 seconds later.

Six up astatine the break, the Blues had already equalled their biggest triumph nether Mauricio Pochettino - against Everton past season.

And the 2nd fractional was drifting on successful a pall of anti-climax until Christopher Nkunku’s ninth extremity of the season, aft 69 minutes, broke the tedium, and past came the large controversy.

Yan Eteki was harshly adjudged to person fouled Kieran Dewsbury-Hall and Nkunku potted his 2nd from the spot aft VAR intervention. Visiting manager Rui Mota was having nary of it, and helium was right. Noah wuz robbed.

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