‘Dad told me he loved me but within hours he'd ended his own life - I was only 12 years old'

We’ve heard the saying, “It’s OK not to beryllium OK,” countless times implicit the years. And portion the tide is dilatory turning, with the likes of Prince Harry, David Beckham and Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson speaking astir their ain experiences of mental health challenges, for galore men there’s a feeling that they inactive can’t scope retired for enactment – and the consequences are hard to ignore.

Globally, astir 60 men instrumentality their ain beingness each hour. That’s 1 each minute. In the UK, termination is the starring origin of decease successful men successful their twenties and aboriginal thirties, and 3 retired of 4 deaths by termination are by males. If that wasn’t alarming enough, successful 2023 the complaint for males taking their ain lives was the highest it’s been since 1999.

“It’s a analyzable picture,” explains Tom Ellis, Global Director of Young Men’s Health Literacy astatine Movember. “Among antheral 20- to 34-year-olds, termination is simply a starring origin of decease and the figures are moving successful the incorrect direction, which is truly distressing.

“I deliberation there’s a fig of factors down it. One is that men mostly unrecorded little steadfast lifestyles, which tin lend to mediocre intelligence health. Also, successful general, men are little apt to question assistance erstwhile they request it – 31% of men volition hold implicit a period earlier seeking assistance for symptoms meaning preventable conditions are going undiagnosed and untreated for longer, sometimes until it’s excessively late.”

And erstwhile it does travel to talking astir symptoms oregon intelligence health, that’s nary casual feat and 40% of males person ne'er spoken to anyone astir their intelligence wellbeing. “Sometimes men are underestimating their symptoms and they’re not ever realising erstwhile they request to question assistance and that what they’re experiencing is mediocre intelligence health,” says Tom.

“But we’re besides alert that tons of men bash cognize what it looks like, truthful immoderate barriers are much societal and related to accepted masculine norms, arsenic men with beardown conformity to a consciousness of accepted norms are little apt to question intelligence wellness access. However, if erstwhile they are seeking help, they’re not needfully getting what they need, that tin beryllium a obstruction arsenic well.”

As a result, Movember is moving to assistance men header and unrecorded healthier, longer lives. As good arsenic backing research, the foundation has a big of initiatives including its Movember Conversations platform, Spot The Signs usher and scope of Men’s Sheds to assistance amended men’s wellbeing, transportation and intelligence health.

“A batch of what we bash astatine Movember is astir engaging men and getting them to recognize the risks and to prioritise their health,” says Tom. “We’re celebrated for what happens successful the period of November, but we’re moving each twelvemonth round. We’ve invested astir £790 cardinal into men’s wellness implicit the years and delivered implicit 1,300 antithetic projects globally, addressing immoderate of these issues.”

While the taxable of speech whitethorn beryllium men’s intelligence health, the contented doesn’t conscionable impact 1 gender. “Men’s intelligence wellness affects everyone. When men are ill, it impacts each of us,” says Tom.

“We each request to enactment the men successful our lives and recognize the signs of mediocre intelligence health. Often it tin beryllium things similar changes successful behaviour. Are they sleeping less? Are they irritable? We’ve each got antheral friends, partners, brothers, sons and colleagues that we attraction about. We could each beryllium doing a occupation to look retired for them.”

‘He was truthful loving’

When Katy Martins was 12 years old, her dada Jaime took his ain life. Now 28, Katy supports Movember’s life-changing work…

“My dada had a truly bully mode of making boring things amusive and breathtaking and we utilized to creation anyplace we could. But supra all, helium was truthful loving and helium was a doting spouse to my mum Alison. He had specified beauteous qualities to person successful a father.

“I retrieve the time helium died vividly. It was a Sunday greeting and my mum had gone moving arsenic she ever did. My dada came into my room, hugged maine and said, retrieve that I’ll ever emotion you. I nestled into his thorax and giggled, ‘I emotion you too, Dad,’ and asked if we’d beryllium having sausage sandwiches later. Little did I cognize what was astir to unfold.

“When Mum came location she asked if I knew wherever helium was. I told her that I thought helium was successful the plot and earlier I knew it I heard a piercing scream. I jumped from the sofa and looked retired the model – a miss had fallen disconnected her bike, truthful I thought that indispensable person been the noise.

“I sat backmost down but past chaos descended. My mum ran towards me, she was screaming and crying uncontrollably, and told maine to spell to the annex wherever my nan was. Paramedics and constabulary arrived, but nary 1 told maine what had happened. I feared the worst. I was alert that my dada was unwell with depression, and it was wide thing had happened to him, but I had nary thought what.

“My mum near and I stayed with my gran. The hours that passed felt similar days, but astatine 3pm I went to the hospital. Mum had tears successful her eyes and said, ‘Dad tried to instrumentality his ain beingness and he’s successful intensive care.’ For the adjacent fewer days we practically lived determination and

“I’d prevarication with him, telling him however overmuch I loved him and that was the past happening he’d heard maine say. Four days aboriginal we made the hard determination to crook disconnected his beingness support, and sadly helium didn’t marque it. I felt numb, I couldn’t portion thing unneurotic for weeks. When you suffer an important idiosyncratic you’re near with a batch of questions. What keeps maine pushing guardant is helping different radical done akin struggles, and the enactment that Movember does is pivotal to helping men’s health.

“It was Dad and I’s imagination to tally the world’s six large marathons, truthful I’m doing that for him. I’ve tally the London marathon and I’ve conscionable tally the New York marathon for Movember. I’m getting medals that I’ll deterioration proudly for america both.”

For much accusation and to enactment Movember’s work, sojourn uk.movember.com

If you've been affected by immoderate of the issues successful this communicative you tin interaction Samaritans successful the UK and Ireland connected freephone 116 123, oregon email jo@samaritans.org oregon jo@samaritans.ie.