Discovering my girlfriend’s infidelity has given me a cuckold fetish

DEAR DEIDRE: I’M blessed for my woman to cheat with different men - arsenic agelong arsenic I tin watch.

The daze and choler I felt erstwhile I discovered her infidelity has fixed mode to a cuckold fetish, but present I’m disquieted I’m playing with fire.

I’m 27 and my woman is 28. We met astatine assemblage and person been unneurotic for 5 years. 

Two years ago, I caught her cheating connected maine with a antheral friend. I recovered them unneurotic successful the bath astatine a party.

She was pleasuring him. 

I was shocked, wounded and aggravated but I was besides strangely turned on. I stood watching for a fewer moments, taking successful the scene, earlier I fto them cognize I’d caught them.

My woman was precise remorseful, blaming it connected being drunk, and I forgave her.

But I couldn’t halt reasoning astir what I’d seen. I’d pleasance myself, reasoning astir it.

A fewer months later, I confessed my fetish and told her I’d beryllium blessed for her to person enactment with different men, connected information that I could beryllium determination and ticker them together. 

She was surprised, but admitted she liked the idea. We started going retired to bars and clubs to prime up consenting partners.

The archetypal clip she had enactment with a feline successful beforehand of me, she was precise shy. But she soon started enjoying herself - particularly erstwhile she saw however overmuch I liked it.

Afterwards, we’d sermon what had happened and person enactment together. 

My occupation is that I’ve started feeling ashamed astir this. I’m disquieted it isn’t mean and I’m frightened I’ve ruined our relationship.

I besides fearfulness she mightiness autumn for 1 of her lovers. 

DEIDRE SAYS: Your cuckold fetish is not arsenic antithetic arsenic you’d think, and galore men are aroused by the thought of different antheral having enactment with their partner.
My enactment battalion Fetish Worries, volition assistance you recognize this.

But making phantasy a world comes with risks, arsenic you’ve realised. 

You request to explicit your fears to her and sermon boundaries. It whitethorn beryllium that she has the aforesaid fears, oregon is disquieted that if she doesn’t support connected doing it, you’ll spell disconnected her.

Perhaps you could hold to support this arsenic a phantasy that you discuss, alternatively than actively enactment in. 

If you’re disquieted astir wherefore you person this fantasy, talking to a counsellor could help. See my enactment battalion astir Sex Therapy.