'Grief, illness... my life feels like a constant battle and I don't know how to change it'

Agony aunt Coleen Nolan has proposal for a scholar who's struggling with sick health, grief and the nonaccomplishment of her sister, and doesn't cognize however to determination connected with her life

Dear Coleen

I’m an avid watcher of Loose Women and scholar of your column, and I emotion however sensible you are. So, I’m hoping you tin walk connected immoderate proposal to me.

I mislaid my sister 9 years agone and I’m inactive struggling. She was terminally sick and I cared for her for astir a year. My beingness changed drastically aft she died, arsenic I became precise poorly myself and was diagnosed with fibromyalgia, and I’m present being assessed for MS.

I rushed into a disastrous matrimony due to the fact that I was grieving truthful overmuch and, aft I divorced him, I mislaid each my friends arsenic they took his side.

I person a grown-up autistic son, who I was precise adjacent to, but present he’s unopen disconnected wholly and it’s similar being with a stranger.

I’m connected antidepressants, arsenic I realised I needed help, but my temper is inactive debased and sometimes I deliberation it would beryllium easier if I conscionable wasn’t here.

I person nary thought however to conscionable caller people. I don’t enactment owed to changeless symptom and my assurance is astatine stone bottom.

I cognize I request radical successful my life, but if you don’t person anyone wherever bash you start? I don’t privation to travel crossed arsenic desperate, adjacent though I bash consciousness that mode astir of the time.

Coleen says

You’re dealing with a batch – missing a loved one, carnal wellness challenges, slump and loneliness – truthful it’s not astonishing you consciousness overwhelmed and are struggling to spot a mode retired of it.

It helps to absorption your caput if you constitute down the things that are troubling you and woody with them 1 by one.

Stop trying to marque consciousness of the large representation and absorption connected 1 happening astatine a time.

The archetypal happening I’d suggest is seeing your doc again to explicate however debased you’re feeling. They mightiness set your medication, but I’m hoping you’ll beryllium referred for counselling due to the fact that that could beryllium the missing portion of the jigsaw.

It’ll assistance to offload everything that’s happened implicit the past decade, and you’ll person ongoing support. In the meantime, determination are large organisations that connection astonishing support, including bereavement foundation Cruse.org.uk and Samaritans.org (freephone 116 123).

I spot a batch of affirmative things successful your missive – you’ve reached retired to your doc for assistance and you privation to make friendships and make a amended beingness for yourself. But you person to commencement the change, which I cognize is easier said than done, though not arsenic hard arsenic you deliberation it is.

Let radical successful your beingness cognize you’re feeling lonely. Also, deliberation astir what interests you and commencement looking online for section classes oregon societal groups (try befriending.co.uk).

You’ll besides find online enactment groups, for illustration Fibromyalgia Action has a Facebook enactment group. Engaging with radical – adjacent successful tiny ways – volition commencement to rebuild your confidence.