‘How can I live knowing I survived when they died?’ – devastating words of Southport hero who shielded kids from killer

A HERO creation teacher who shielded children from the Southport attacker has revealed her torment implicit surviving the rampage.

Leanne Lucas had organised the Taylor Swift creation people wherever the massacre took spot past July.

The creation teacher was stabbed 5 times by Axel Rudakubana arsenic helium made his mode done the Hart Space assemblage centre slashing astatine adults and children.

Leanne managed to prevention 2 children and was rushed to infirmary successful a life-threatening condition.

Tragically, Bebe King, six, Elsie Dot Stancombe, seven, and Alice Dasilva Aguiar, nine, were each killed successful the horror.

In a heartbreaking connection astatine Rudakubana's sentencing proceeding today, Leanne personally addressed the 3 guiltless victims.

She told them: "For Alice, Elsie, Bebe, Heidi and the surviving girls, I'm surviving for you."

Leanne besides revealed however "as a 36-year-old woman" she tin longer enactment astatine location alone, spell to enactment oregon locomotion down the thoroughfare without holding her enactment successful lawsuit idiosyncratic attempts to stab her.

She added: "As a 36-year-old pistillate I cannot springiness myself compassion oregon judge praise, arsenic however tin I unrecorded knowing I survived erstwhile children died."

Leanne told however how she is trying to "see the goodness successful the world" but the "badness has been evidentially proven to maine to exist, successful plain sight, connected our doorsteps, successful our community".

The creation teacher besides said her mindset since the onslaught has been altered and she has "lost the quality to judge radical present arsenic they are".

Leanne revealed she has mislaid her relation arsenic idiosyncratic successful the assemblage who would assistance children and marque a affirmative impact.

Since the attack, she said she tin ne'er "feel that level of work again wherever determination whitethorn beryllium dangers to others".

She continued: "I spent galore months reasoning astir the incidental 24 hours a time 7 days a week.

"Just erstwhile I felt I could settee and effort to determination forward, the trauma of that time is present backmost astatine the forefront.

"I perpetually spot his face; caller memories person appeared, and this volition proceed to hap for the remainder of my life."

Leanne said she has been affected some physically and mentally by the fearfulness and has been near with scars that service arsenic "visual regular reminders" of what Rudubakana did to the victims.

She besides revealed however she had to endure 3 stays successful infirmary and acquisition aggregate surgeries.

Leanne continued: "The trauma of being some a unfortunate and a witnesser has been horrendous.

"There are times erstwhile I volition spiral into trauma and the effect this has had connected those adjacent to maine is unforgivable.

"The interaction this has had connected maine tin beryllium summed up by 1 word: trauma.

"He targeted america due to the fact that we were women and girls, susceptible and casual prey.

"To observe that helium had ever acceptable retired to wounded the susceptible is beyond comprehensible."

Rudakubana is owed to beryllium sentenced contiguous aft helium pleaded blameworthy to 3 counts of execution and 10 of attempted murder.

The teen, who had been owed to basal proceedings earlier the melodramatic U-turn, besides admitted 2 panic offences after police found ricin and an Al-Qaeda manual astatine his home.

Despite this, constabulary are inactive not treating the July onslaught arsenic terror-related.

The shameless triple slayer has truthful acold caused further anguish for the victims' families with his courtroom stunts.

Rudakubana, who had refused to talk during his erstwhile hearings, was removed from dock soon aft the sentencing began shouting that helium was "ill" and needed a paramedic.

As helium left, 1 household subordinate shouted "coward" arsenic others shook their heads.

He was past removed for a 2nd clip aft luncheon erstwhile helium made different vile outburst.