I agreed to split custody of kids 60-40 with ex and now I’m having second thoughts

DEAR DEIDRE: BEFORE we really separated, I agreed to springiness my ex-husband 60 per cent custody of our kids, but present I’m having 2nd thoughts.

We’ve been joined for 5 years. I’ve ever loved my occupation and enactment agelong hours for a tech company.

I’m 41 and my hubby is 40. If I’m honorable helium pressured maine to person kids earlier I was ready.

Still, I emotion my duplicate daughters who are present 3 and a half, but I ne'er wanted to beryllium a stay-at-home mum.

Unfortunately the strain of parenthood pushed america implicit the borderline and truthful we decided to get divorced.

My hubby is self-employed and has ever been the main caregiver, truthful we agreed he’d instrumentality the children erstwhile helium moves to the different extremity of the country, to beryllium with his member and sister, who tin assistance him with childcare.

If the twins stayed with me, they’d beryllium successful nursery 5 days per week.

My household supports maine but they’re each excessively engaged to help.

I cognize that giving up afloat custody, and visiting my children arsenic often arsenic possible, makes sense. But I’m disquieted I’m going to regret this.

Shouldn’t it beryllium maine who has them 60 per cent of the time?

The occupation is, that’s conscionable not a applicable solution.

DEIDRE SAYS: This is simply a monolithic measurement and I recognize wherefore you’re wavering.

While normal says children should beryllium with their mum astir of the time, if that statement won’t payment your children, you shouldn’t consciousness compelled to bash what others expect.

But if this doesn’t beryllium good with you, arsenic you person hinted, past it would surely beryllium worthy looking for different compromises.

Could you determination person to your ex? Maybe you could enactment from home?

Don’t hold to entree arrangements unless you 100 per cent comfortable.

To get clarity and adept advice, speech to onlymums.org.

They assistance parents (there’s an Onlydads too) who’ve decided to divided bash the champion for their children.

They tin counsel connected ineligible rights and you tin speech with a solicitor, barrister oregon mediator astatine nary cost.

I bash anticipation you tin find the enactment you need.