I caught my husband masturbating – now I’ve installed a camera to spy on him

DEAR DEIDRE: WHEN my hubby and I moved into a location that has an en-suite bathroom, with a solid window, I thought it would beryllium amusive to person a peek astatine him successful the bath.

I was shocked and wounded to spot him masturbating. He denied it, saying helium was conscionable washing himself, but I don’t judge him. Now, I’ve started checking connected him regularly.

We’ve been joined for 10 years. I’m 34 and he’s 36.

At the commencement of our relationship, helium told maine helium doesn’t - and wouldn’t - masturbate, and I took him astatine his word. 

After the bath incident, I tried to drawback him retired again, but helium could ever perceive maine coming.

So I secretly hooked up a ringing camera supra the bath cupboard to spy connected him. Now I person definitive impervious that he’s been lying to me. 

I’ve besides realised that each the times successful the past erstwhile he’s said he’s excessively bushed for sex, oregon couldn’t perform, it was due to the fact that he’d been pleasuring himself instead. 

He said helium loved maine and that I was capable for him. I consciousness rejected and betrayed and unloved.

Now, whenever helium goes to person a bath, I marque excuses to beryllium successful the bath with him, truthful helium can’t interaction himself.

DEIDRE SAYS: Please disable that camera, you are invading his privateness and perchance eroding immoderate spot successful your marriage.

Masturbating is simply a mean and earthy activity, which galore men and women do. It’s often a signifier of merchandise oregon accent relief, and helps radical to get successful interaction with their ain bodies.

It’s not harmful and, unless it’s done to excess, shouldn’t interfere with enactment betwixt a couple.

See my enactment pack, Worried About Masturbation.

Perhaps you were brought up to deliberation of it arsenic sinful.

It’s incorrect that your hubby lied to you, but helium astir apt didn’t privation to wounded you and thought you wouldn’t find out. 

You request to speech to him and beryllium honorable astir what you’ve done and however you feel, truthful you tin enactment this retired together. 

If you’re not blessed with your enactment life, past this is besides thing you tin enactment on.Couples counselling mightiness beryllium helpful.

Contact Tavistock Relationships (tavistockrelationships.org) to put sessions.