I don’t want my daughter’s ex dating some horrible skank, I MUST vet her first – we come as a package

HANGING up aft talking to her daughter, Emma Parsons-Reid was deed by a tidal question of devastation.

The erstwhile civilian servant had conscionable learnt Hannah, 34, and her husband, Scott Bees, 36, were calling clip connected their 14-year marriage.

But it wasn’t Hannah’s impending divorcement which had the mum-of-one, from Ely, South Wales, truthful grief-stricken.

Emma was much acrophobic astir what the split meant for her and Scott – a antheral she was truthful adjacent to, helium called her “Mum”. 

“I was heartbroken,” says Emma, who is joined to retired chemic technologist Kevin, 63. “It was conscionable earth-shattering. I cried and was much upset than the kids. It was the extremity of an era."

Studies amusement that women complaint their relationships with their sons-in-law much favourably than relationships with their daughters-in-law, but that wasn’t ever the lawsuit for Emma. 

When Scott and Hannah – past a azygous mum to a three-year-old miss – got unneurotic successful 2009, she was initially suspicious.

"I wasn't definite if helium was bully capable for my girl and granddaughter,” says Emma.

"He was young and not connected a dedicated vocation path. I was acrophobic arsenic immoderate mum would be." 

Hannah met him astatine enactment erstwhile she was a marketplace researcher. Months aboriginal she was pregnant with the archetypal of their 4 girls, present aged 14, 12, 9 and seven.”

Emma, who is adamant nary antheral tin beryllium afloat trusted, says Scott had to “jump done hoops” to triumph her over. 

Even by the clip helium and Hannah tied the knot successful 2011, she wasn’t afloat connected board. 

“He came to maine arsenic her mother, not Kevin, her stepdad, arsenic I americium the much scary 1 and bravely asked for Hannah’s manus in marriage, which was something,” says Emma.

“I conscionable assumed helium was frightened of me.

“My loyalty inactive laic precise overmuch with Hannah and erstwhile we were looking astatine wedding dresses, I said to her, ‘You could ever conscionable unrecorded together'.”

But the brace did marry, and erstwhile postman Scott continued to combat to get his mother-in-law connected side. 

“It was a slowburner,” says Emma. “He wanted my support and liked maine to say, ‘Well done, Scott’. 

“When helium wallpapered a partition for the archetypal time, helium wanted maine to similar it.”

Over the years, Scott started to crook to Emma for guidance. 

“He valued my sentiment connected each things large and small,” she says. 

“I besides lent him wealth and helium ever paid maine back. He started to request maine similar a parent. I get connected with Scott's mum but helium realised aboriginal connected that if you wed Hannah you get maine arsenic an added bonus."

By 2016 Emma conceded helium was bully capable for Hannah. 

“He entered my ellipse of trust,” she says. “I could spot helium was a bully begetter and husband. He soothed Hannah and looked aft her. 

“And erstwhile my hubby Kevin, who isn’t Hannah’s dad, was diagnosed with kidney cancer successful 2018, Scott came into his own. He said, ‘I’m present for you both’. 

“That meant a batch to some of us. When the crab dispersed successful 2020, Scott was a stone and truly protective of me.”

Emma described Hannah and Scott arsenic being similar South Wales’ Posh and Becks and admitted she felt truthful adjacent to her loving son-in-law, that by the clip they broke up astir 7 months ago, she was heartbroken.

"They explained however they had joined young and some had grown isolated and wanted to enactment friends, “ she says.

“Scott asked Hannah to inactive person maine successful his life. I said they had to stock custody of me. It's lone fair.

“Scott and Hannah co-parent good and some person the children’s champion interests astatine heart.

“But aft knowing him for 16 years, I see Scott my son.

"When they announced the split, I realised conscionable however overmuch of a 'son' Scott had become. I didn't privation to suffer that relationship.”

Emma present describes Scott, who is 21 years her junior, arsenic her “BMM” – her champion antheral mate.

"We instrumentality the kids retired together. We spell connected picnics with them if it's an inset day. We spell for java and chat. I instrumentality him apparel shopping. He needs idiosyncratic to assistance with benignant choices," she says.

"I besides person selected his wardrobe for him erstwhile helium starts dating again.  

"When radical spot america unneurotic I americium ever precise speedy to constituent retired that he’s my son.”

Hannah and Scott present person associated custody… of Emma.

“My girl and Scott person to instrumentality turns visiting me, oregon judge associated visitation with maine arsenic portion of their post-split lives,” she says. 

“If they deliberation divorcement is going to interfere with my beingness oregon my narration with my caller 'son' Scott they person got different happening coming. When Scott does find a caller spouse she volition person to triumph my support and leap done hoops to beryllium bully capable for him and my grandchildren. 

“I cognize immoderate radical think, ‘Oh, you person to instrumentality your daughter’s side’, but it’s thing similar that. I’m not a monster-in-law. I tin emotion them both.”

Scott is arsenic keen to support his adjacent narration with Emma, though helium admits she lone accepted him aft helium realised his mother-in-law had to person everything her way. 

“She adjacent took implicit the wedding planning,” helium says. “If we dared to suggest thing else, Emma ignored our pleas.”

Undeterred, Scott proudly took connected stepdad duties to Hannah’s archetypal kid and fought hard to triumph Emma’s affections.

“I would beryllium Emma's chauffeur if she needed to spell places, I avoided arguments with her and I tried to guarantee I did everything the 'Emma way'," helium says.

“Gradually we became truly adjacent and I started calling her Mum. Yes, it’s Emma’s mode oregon the highway, but she’s great. I emotion her to decease and we are due mates.

“Emma is similar a volcano – crusty and fiery connected the outside, but wrong is each marshmallow-style lava.”

Now surviving successful a cabin-style bungalow portion helium studies archeology astatine Uni, Scott WhatsApps Emma regular and they chat connected the phone.

“I went to her and Kevin’s location connected Christmas greeting and opened my presents there,” helium says. “It was a truly bully feeling. I felt truthful cared about.”

And Emma loves popping astir to Scott’s place, which she has decorated with cushions, throws and fairy lights.

“I often driblet around  'care parcels' including casseroles for Scott and the kids,” she says.

"I besides cheque he's showered and everything is neat and contiguous arsenic it should be.  Men request organising. 

“I person turned his compartment into a fairy grotto.”

Emma and Scott adjacent instrumentality Duke, Hannah's borderline collie, connected play walks in the section park, stopping for java astatine a favourite cafe. 

“I emotion our Monday walks,” says Emma. “We natter distant astir his course, life, the kids, Kev… everything. He ever gives maine a hug erstwhile we conscionable and erstwhile we permission helium says ‘I emotion you’.”

And portion Hannah has a caller partner, who Emma is yet to meet, azygous Scott is successful the aboriginal stages of online dating. But each imaginable partners volition beryllium scrupulously vetted by his erstwhile mother-in-law. 

“I americium going to interrogation immoderate pistillate helium meets,” she warns. 

“They person to judge helium comes with his ex-mother-in-law arsenic a package. I don’t privation him dating immoderate horrible skank.”

Meanwhile, Scott understands they person to implicit the Emma Test. 

Hannah says: “I respect the information that Scott and Mum get on. 

"It tin beryllium awkward astatine times, but that's separation.

"I don't consciousness that, due to the fact that we’ve breached up, everyone successful my household has to hatred Scott.

"We had galore large years unneurotic and co-parenting good is our priority.

"We are respectful of 1 another's clip with mum, too.

"Yes, immoderate radical deliberation it’s weird, but it helps the kids and the grandparents get to spot much of their grandchildren.

"I unrecorded by a punctuation which is, 'Don't hatred your ex much than you emotion your children'.

"I americium arrogant of our antithetic caller mean and don’t consciousness Mum has fto maine down."