I love my wife but I can’t stop cheating with multiple women – I’ve slept with woman on a train and a friend’s partner

DEAR DEIDRE: NO substance however galore women I slumber with, it’s ne'er enough. I ever privation much and more.

I’m beauteous definite I’m a sex addict and if I don’t get assistance soon, I’ll beryllium recovered retired — and my marriage volition beryllium over.

I’m 51 and my fantastic woman is 50. We person 2 grown-up children and, connected the surface, we person a large life. We are comfortably good disconnected and unrecorded successful a beauteous house.

My business occurrence means we nary longer request to enactment agelong hours and tin spell distant connected nice holidays.

We are besides large friends — my woman is my soulmate.

But portion I bash emotion her, she has ne'er satisfied maine sexually.

She has a debased libido, and it’s diminished adjacent further implicit the past fewer years.

She genuinely thinks I’m blessed having sex a mates of times a month.

But the information is, it’s not astir capable for me. That is wherefore I person had aggregate affairs and hook-ups with different women, from a miss I met connected a bid to a friend’s woman and adjacent idiosyncratic I worked with.

I emotion women’s bodies — I simply can’t get capable of them.

And fixed the opportunity, I volition person enactment immoderate time, anywhere.

I’ve done it successful cars, successful alleyways circular the backmost of pubs and successful different people’s marital beds.

I usually person 3 oregon 4 women connected the spell and I marque it precise wide that I’m lone funny successful fun.

As soon arsenic I get the consciousness they are looking for thing much serious, I chopped them loose.

If determination isn’t a pistillate connected the scene, I’ll wage for an escort.

But aft sex, I ever consciousness bare — dirty, disgusting and guilty. The lone mode to marque myself consciousness amended is to person enactment again.

How tin I interruption this vicious cycle? I don’t privation my woman to divorce oregon despise me.

Nobody could hatred maine arsenic overmuch arsenic I hatred myself.

DEIDRE SAYS: Admitting you person a occupation is simply a affirmative step.

Sex truly tin beryllium addictive. But you’re not lone risking your marriage, you’re besides risking your health – and your wife’s.

Start by making it hard for yourself to sleep with different women, adjacent if it means taking your woman connected a holiday, oregon cutting up your credit cards and deleting apps.

Go to an STI session and get checked, and treated, if necessary.

You request to find retired what’s astatine the basal of this. Your compulsive behaviour suggests it’s much than conscionable feeling sexually frustrated oregon liking women.

Contact thelaurelcentre.co.uk (01926 339594), which offers enactment addiction therapy and enactment for partners.

THANK YOU FOR HELPING ME AFTER FIANCÉE STRAYED

DEAR DEIDRE: AFTER my fiancée confessed to a ­one-night stand, I felt devastated and confused.

She said she wanted america to enactment unneurotic and enactment connected our relationship, but I wasn’t definite if she was utilizing maine for my money and the information of my flat.

We had been unneurotic for 4 years erstwhile she confessed to sleeping with an ex. I’m 28 and she’s 27.

I wrote asking what I should do. You advised maine to speech to a counsellor to assistance clarify my thoughts and feelings.

You said that if I wanted to effort to forgive her and proceed our relationship, it mightiness beryllium adjuvant for america to person ­couples counselling, and you advised maine to work your enactment packs called Counselling and How to Look After Your Relationship.

I was pleasantly amazed erstwhile you followed up to spot however I was coping.

Sadly, I wasn’t capable to marque the narration enactment – the spot had gone and I knew I couldn’t wed her – but your proposal helped maine truthful overmuch astatine a clip my caput was a mess.

Thank you for being there.

DEIDRE SAYS: I’m atrocious your narration didn’t enactment out. I anticipation successful the future you conscionable idiosyncratic who is afloat committed to you.

Teenage troubles

DEAR DEIDRE: MY woman dumped maine a period ago. I’m heartbroken.

She was my archetypal superior narration and I emotion her truthful much. We’re some 17 and had been unneurotic for 2 years.

She has decided she’s excessively young to beryllium tied down, and wants to absorption connected exams and getting into uni. But I cognize she was The One for me.

I can’t sleep, person stopped going retired with mates and prevarication successful furniture crying implicit her photos.

How tin I triumph her back?

DEIDRE SAYS: There’s thing much achy than the extremity of your archetypal superior relationship.

Unfortunately, you can’t marque her alteration her mind.

But I committedness things volition get easier. It’s important to speech to idiosyncratic astir your feelings, oregon interaction themix.org.uk, who are determination for radical nether 25.

My enactment pack, Mending A Broken Heart, tin help.