I’m haunted by the worry my cheating past will ruin my marriage

DEAR DEIDRE: MY hubby is simply a bully man, a loving antheral and is large with our children, but I’m haunted by the interest that my past volition drawback up with maine and ruin everything.

You spot I judge successful karma and astatine the opening of our narration I was inactive nether the spell of my toxic ex boyfriend.

I had enactment down my present husband’s backmost astatine slightest 4 times, and the representation makes maine consciousness sick to my stomach. 

I’m 37, my hubby is 39, and we’ve been unneurotic for conscionable implicit 10 years. We stock 2 young daughters together; 1 is 2 and the different is four.

Since the time we met, he’s gone supra and beyond to look aft me, and I often wonderment what I did to merit specified an astonishing man. 

When we archetypal met, I was inactive emotionally tied to my toxic ex-boyfriend. We’d been connected and disconnected for years, and I admittedly had a wont of self-sabotaging arsenic an excuse to tally backmost to him. 

I knew from the archetypal day with my hubby that helium was different, and I tried truthful hard not to autumn backmost into aged habits. 

However, aft a fewer drunken nights out, I kept uncovering myself successful my ex’s bed. 

Every clip it happened, the guilt consumed maine until I yet decided to artifact him and determination on. 

Since that time I person been each successful with my husband, and it’s the champion determination I ever made. 

I cognize he’d beryllium devastated if helium recovered out, but I consciousness truthful dense carrying this concealed astir with me.

Should I travel clean?

DEIDRE SAYS: It’s understandable that you’re struggling with this, but inquire yourself, would telling your hubby beryllium chiefly astir alleviating your ain consciousness of guilt?

While coming cleanable astir what you did mightiness marque you consciousness amended for a fewer seconds, yet it volition wounded him profoundly and astir surely destruct your different blessed relationship.

It’s wide that you learned from your mistake and haven’t strayed since, truthful opening that tin of worms would bash thing but origin unnecessary symptom and hurt.

Feeling blameworthy doesn’t assistance anyone. Better to instrumentality your lessons, turn and determination on.

If you are struggling to header with the guilt, it would beryllium amended to get it disconnected your thorax by talking to a counsellor, successful confidence.

My enactment battalion How Counselling Can Help volition archer you wherever to entree this help.