I’m nearly f***ing dead – but it’s a botched op not Parkinson’s which is stopping me from touring, says Ozzy Osbourne

WITH immoderate trepidation, I inquire Ozzy Osbourne: “How are you doing?”

“I’m astir f***ing dead!” replies the lovable rogue successful his chiseled Brummie accent, unaffected by years successful the States.

“But if it is the extremity of the roadworthy for me, I can’t complain,” continues the vocalist with capable ailments to capable a aesculapian dictionary.

I’m talking to heavy metal’s Prince Of Darkness arsenic helium prepares to beryllium honoured by the Rock & Roll Hall Of Fame for a 2nd time.

He’s joining a small, prime set to beryllium inducted much than once, including his euphony leader Paul McCartney.

Ozzy’s astatine location connected the outskirts of Los Angeles with woman Sharon and, naturally, their galore dogs, and I’m successful London erstwhile we’re hooked up connected Zoom.

Despite everything, the 75-year-old is looking arsenic good arsenic tin beryllium expected with his long, flowing, tastefully dyed acheronian brownish hairsbreadth framing that acquainted expressive face.

For much than fractional an hour, helium seems switched-on and lucid — taking maine connected a rollercoaster thrust of heartbreak and humour, of adversity and resilience.

Though helium bemoans the information that he’s been “laid up for astir six years”, helium is ne'er acold from breaking into infectious laughter.

Reflecting connected an bonzer beingness that has taken him from the backstreets of Birmingham to the satellite stage, Ozzy says: “Sharon said to maine recently, ‘If you had to bash it implicit again, would you alteration anything?’ “I answered, ‘No, I had a f***ing large time’.”

At 1 point, helium adjacent breaks into the immortal lines of a opus from his favourite film, Monty Python’s Life Of Brian.

“Always look connected the agleam broadside of life . . . life’s a portion of s**t, erstwhile you look astatine it.”

Then Ozzy adds: “I utilized to sing that to my kids erstwhile they were babies. I emotion that movie!

‘I miss you guys’

“The different time I went to my ­chiropractor successful Beverly Hills and who should beryllium sitting successful the waiting country but John “f***ing” Cleese? It was similar gathering the Pope!”

Ozzy besides tells maine of his imagination to spot retired the remainder of his days backmost location successful England.

“I miss you guys,” helium affirms.

“I was expected to travel backmost a twelvemonth agone but, due to the fact that of my sick wellness and my disabilities, they won’t fto me.

“I’ve conscionable spent a batch of wealth ­having immoderate large extensions connected my location adjacent Beaconsfield (including an indoor pool) and I’ve ne'er seen them.

“At immoderate point, I’m decidedly going to England though. If I enactment determination — I anticipation I bash — thing tells maine the kids volition ­follow.

"Maybe Sharon volition privation to support a spot present and a spot there, we’ll see. I’m English but I’m becoming an American Brummie. I don’t privation to extremity my days successful America.”

Since 2003 erstwhile helium broke his cervix successful a quad motorcycle accident, Ozzy has been compromised by wellness issues, including being diagnosed with a signifier of Parkinson’s.

He’s had to acquisition galore ­surgeries, devour mountains of painkillers and endure endless hours of physio.

In 2019, helium suffered a immense setback erstwhile helium tripped during a bath sojourn successful the mediate of the night.

“I fell implicit and I landed wrong,” says Ozzy.

“I went to the doctor’s and you presume everybody knows what they’re doing. My lad Jack has a video of maine going into surgery, saying, ‘I’ll spot you successful a fewer minutes’. I haven’t walked decently since.”

Ozzy believes excessively overmuch blasted for his predicament has been placed connected his Parkinson’s diagnosis.

He says: “I mean, erstwhile I came disconnected the quad motorcycle successful 2003, I inactive did tours and I had Parkinson’s backmost then. It was THAT f***ing surgery.”

Now, successful what is simply a immense infinitesimal for Ozzy, helium has had to look a four-hour formation from Los Angeles to Cleveland, Ohio, to beryllium inducted into the Rock & Roll Hall Of Fame for solo enactment spanning much than 4 decades.

He calls the honour “the champion quality I’ve had successful years. My past amusement was New Year’s Eve astatine the LA Forum astir six years ago.”

But speech of his impending formation prompts an up-to-the-minute wellness report.

“I’m prone to getting humor clots successful my legs,” says Ozzy.

“I went for a check-up past week and, due to the fact that they recovered different clot, I came precise adjacent to not being capable to fly. I’m having to person injections for humor thinners and I’m wearing these f***ing ridiculous tights nether my pants.”

This helps explicate wherefore helium can’t get backmost to the UK immoderate clip soon — a taxable which brings this rueful response.

I mightiness conscionable alert to New York, enactment a mates of days and past alert to England from there,” helium says.

“But if thing happens astatine 35,000ft connected a 747 bound for London, which is simply a seven-hour flight, I’m up s**t creek.”

Ozzy is besides incredibly bittersweet that helium won’t beryllium capable to sing astatine the Hall Of Fame ceremonial tonight.

“I’d autumn implicit due to the fact that I can’t basal upright,” helium reports. “My equilibrium has gone, which is precise frustrating.

“At the rehearsal, I was precise adjacent to breaking down and crying. Them aged juices wrong maine inactive mean I privation to get up there. It’s heartbreaking that I can’t perform.”

Then, with a emblematic infinitesimal of gallows humour, helium adds: “I privation I could get my equilibrium back.

“I was looking into these bionic legs which you tin get present — past I truly would beryllium Iron Man (a ­reference to 1 of Black Sabbath’s biggest, bone-crunching tracks).”

Ozzy volition beryllium inducted by Hollywood prima and Tenacious D vocalist Jack Black, who helium remembers good from School Of Rock.

A seven-minute medley of his solo songs volition beryllium performed by a stellar formed of hard-rock musicians including Billy Idol, Eddie Van Halen’s lad Wolfgang, Metallica’s Robert Trujillo, Ozzy’s caller shaper Andrew Watt and his pb guitarist Zakk Wylde.

But helium is not looking guardant to saying a fewer words to the assembled throng of stone royalty.

“I’m crap astatine making speeches,” helium says. “I ever extremity up reasoning of 5 things astatine the aforesaid clip and blowing it.”

With that typically honorable admission, Ozzy moves connected to matters person to home.

He heaps praise connected Sharon and their children, the well-known ones Kelly and Jack among them, for being “so adjuvant and supportive”.

“It’s been hard connected Sharon though,” helium adds, “because she has to clasp the fort. There are inactive rows betwixt the kids — they don’t get connected oregon immoderate — and sometimes I think, ‘I can’t archer her what’s going on, she’s already got capable connected her plate’.”

Ozzy has agelong fixed up intoxicant and says: “My tolerance has gone, I’m gladsome to say, due to the fact that erstwhile I commencement drinking I commencement looking for drugs. Sharon had bully grooming successful dealing with chaos!”

I’m keen to find retired if the renowned hellraiser who endured accusations of satanism during his clip successful Black Sabbath has a ­spiritual side.

“I don’t judge successful organised ­religion but to retrieve from my cause addiction and alcoholism, I had to person a powerfulness greater than myself,” helium replies.

“When I was successful rehab, 1 of the councillors said, ‘It doesn’t person to beryllium idiosyncratic sitting connected a unreality successful the sky’.

“So whether it’s God oregon adjacent if it’s a f***ing alien, there’s thing much almighty than me.”

Then the hilarity breaks done again erstwhile helium considers immoderate of his radical therapy sessions successful rehab.

“People came up to maine with each kinds of worldly like, ‘God isn’t an angel, he’s from Mars, man’. I don’t cognize wherefore everybody goes connected astir Mars — there’s thing there!”

Though he’s highly improbable to circuit again, Ozzy is determined to marque different album, the follow-up to his acclaimed 2022 effort, Patient Number 9.

That grounds employed guitar large Eric Clapton arsenic a impermanent and his erstwhile one, Ordinary Man, included the services of Elton John.

‘I person a trainer’

But there’s 1 euphony icon helium wants to enactment with much than immoderate other.

Ozzy says: “I’d emotion to bash thing with Paul McCartney. I astir s**t my pants erstwhile I met him. I americium not worthy!”

He casts his caput backmost to his teenage years successful Birmingham and continues: “When I was walking down Witton Road successful Aston with a bluish transistor vigor and She Loves You came on, I thought, ‘What the f*** is this?’ It utilized to beryllium Cliff Richard and each that worldly — but this was The Beatles! As a set they were large AND they each had idiosyncratic ­personalities.”

When helium was told McCartney was moving astatine a workplace helium was besides using, the Beatles superfan archetypal thought it was a “f***ing wind-up” but past sensed an opportunity.

“I spell successful and accidental to my producer, ‘You’ve got to get him to play connected this way for me’. I didn’t slumber that night.

“The adjacent morning, I went, ‘What did helium say?’ The reply was, ‘I played it to Paul and helium said helium couldn’t bushed the bass subordinate who was already connected it’.”

Before our chat finishes up, Ozzy sheds airy connected his regular daily arsenic helium strives for amended health.

“I’ve got physiotherapy 3 times a week and I person a trainer coming doubly a week. My lad is staying with maine astatine the infinitesimal and helium goes to spot this acupuncturist who besides does yoga.

“I privation to commencement doing yoga to get my equilibrium back.”

Ozzy says helium doesn’t ticker overmuch unrecorded telly, though helium loves YouTube footage of his favourite ­subject, the Second World War, peculiarly Hitler and the Nazis.

He has this to accidental astir the statesmanlike contention betwixt Donald Trump and Kamala Harris. “You can’t debar it, it’s each different advert. But I don’t fancy either broadside to beryllium honest.”

And what astir British authorities with Labour kicking retired the Tories aft 14 years?

“I don’t adjacent cognize who the Prime Minister is immoderate more!” helium confesses.

Don’t you conscionable emotion him! Hang connected successful determination Ozzy.