I’m on the brink of telling my lover’s son the truth about our affair

DEAR DEIDRE: I’M connected the brink of telling my lover’s lad the information astir our relationship.

I’m sick of keeping it a secret, aft six years together, adjacent though she inactive lives with her husband. 

Now, I’ve started messaging different women due to the fact that I’m truthful fed up, but I don’t privation to suffer her.

I’m 60 and she’s 58. We person a loving relationship, large enactment and we laughter a lot.

When we archetypal met, successful a section cafe, I asked if she was married. She said ‘sort of’, meaning she wasn’t happy. 

But I’m not a matrimony breaker, truthful I conscionable gave her my details and said, ‘Call maine erstwhile you’re ready.’

She called a week later, and we started a relationship. She told maine her hubby was abusive, and they hadn’t had enactment for astir 20 years. 

Even though he’s horrible to her, and they reason each the time, she won’t permission him. 

It means she inactive won’t beryllium seen retired successful nationalist unneurotic - adjacent though immoderate of her friends cognize astir us.

It means we hardly spot each other. She’s terrified her hubby volition find out. 

Yet helium has had affairs excessively and they’re intelligibly not blessed together.

What I privation is simply a semipermanent companion, idiosyncratic who I tin stock things with - not conscionable a fewer hours a week of enactment successful a hotel.

I’m getting fed up and starting to deliberation it’s clip to determination on. There are different women online who look funny successful meeting. 

But, I bash attraction profoundly for her, and don’t privation to suffer her. 

Her lad - who presently lives with her and her hubby - suspects she’s cheating. 

I’m tempted to interaction him and archer him the truth, truthful things yet travel to a head. 

Should I?

DEIDRE SAYS: It’s earthy that aft six years together, you privation a afloat relationship.

But it’s imaginable she doesn’t privation her hubby to find retired due to the fact that she’s frightened of him. 

Telling her son, successful the hopes it volition bring the concern to a head, is simply a unsafe move.

If helium is abusive, you could enactment your person astatine risk.

And she would apt resent your interference, pushing you apart.

Tell her however you feel. Ask her to beryllium honest, but explicate you can’t unrecorded similar this overmuch longer. 

My enactment pack, Your Lover Not Free, should beryllium helpful.

Give her my enactment battalion connected Abusive Partners.

If things don’t change, it whitethorn beryllium clip to determination on.