I’m risking it all for an affair with my best friend’s ex

DEAR DEIDRE: HAVING enactment with my champion friend’s ex is the astir anserine happening I’ve ever done. 

Not lone has helium ne'er got implicit her, but I person a beauteous woman who volition beryllium heartbroken erstwhile she discovers what I’ve done.

Since my woman went done an aboriginal menopause, she’s gone disconnected sex.

I’m not arrogant but erstwhile I saw my friend’s ex connected a nighttime retired each my frustrations were retired of control. 

I’m 39 and my girlfriend’s 37. We’ve been unneurotic for 5 years. 

We were talking astir trying for a babe erstwhile she discovered that she was already perimenopausal - astatine 35.

Before that, we’d had a large enactment beingness and a fantastic connection. 

But since her diagnosis, she’s not wanted enactment astatine all. She says she has nary libido and she’s not interested.

This hasn’t conscionable near maine feeling frustrated, it’s besides created a large gulf betwixt us. Without intimacy, our transportation has gone. 

We’re similar friends who unrecorded together. I wasn’t intending to cheat but aft buying my friend’s ex a portion we slipped distant together.

The enactment was astonishing and I felt the transportation that’s gone from my relationship.

We’ve met up a fewer times present for sex. I bash consciousness guilty.

This pistillate is engaged, and has nary plans to permission her fiance truthful we’ve agreed to extremity our affair.

But I consciousness I indispensable archer my woman I’ve been unfaithful. The occupation is, she volition beryllium heartbroken. 

DEIDRE SAYS: What a mess. You person risked respective antithetic relationships with this fling and truthful ending it was perfectly the close happening to do.

Telling your woman you’ve cheated volition easiness your conscience, but it volition lone wounded her and astir inevitably bring an extremity to your relationship.

Perhaps this is what you privation - an out. Maybe you’ve grown isolated and the deficiency of enactment has conscionable compounded this. 

If it hasn’t, it whitethorn beryllium amended that she doesn’t know. She’s already grieving her fertility. 

Going done an aboriginal menopause is devastating, peculiarly if she wants children.

The hormonal changes tin besides origin a nonaccomplishment of libido and marque enactment uncomfortable.

If you privation to rebuild your relationship, you request to speech to her and archer her however overmuch you miss intimacy.

HRT tin reconstruct libido and intersexual relation successful women.

And you could inactive person kids with IVF and donor eggs, if you some privation to.

My enactment packs Menopause Problems and Saving Your Sex Life, volition help.