I started dating months after my husband, 31 died & got married within a year – I felt so guilty, but it was so right

HOLDING her dying husband's manus successful his last days, Kirsten Clawson struggled to ideate uncovering emotion similar theirs again.

But 13 months aft Cody took his past breath, Kirsten, 45, was joined again with a marque caller household aft her precocious hubby 'found 1 who needed her'.

Kirsten was devastated erstwhile she mislaid Cody, 43, to leukaemia successful December 2020 aft aesculapian trials and chemotherapy couldn't prevention his life.

But successful those past days of his beingness her hubby of 4 years made her a touching committedness and Kirsten says it's convey to him she's recovered happiness again.

“I asked Cody what helium wanted my aboriginal to look like, and whether helium wanted maine to wed again,” recalls Kirsten. 

“Now I had to deliberation of a aboriginal without him.

“He looked astatine me, and helium whispered yes, past added ‘I'm going to get to the different broadside and find a household that needs you’."

Days aft their conversation, Cody took his past enactment leaving Kirsten a widow astatine 43.

She promised to support his daughters, 19 and 17, successful her life. Having not been capable to person her ain children she had grown to emotion some of them similar her own.

She admits that the nonaccomplishment near her a ammunition of her erstwhile self.

“I couldn't look the achy reminders successful the location we shared, truthful I moved backmost to my parents for a fewer months,” she says. 

“I lived my beingness connected autopilot. Everything seemed bleak without Cody.’

It was lone a section facebook radical for young widows and widowers which brought comfortableness to Kirsten.

“It was refreshing to speech to those who understood me,” she remembers.

‘In September 2021 I chatted to different widow Brittney. 

“She had recently started dating. Cody had been gone 10 months, truthful I had thought it was excessively soon for me."

Kirsten past recalled the speech she'd had with Cody starring up to his decease and joined a dating app.

Just the pursuing time Kirsten, from Utah, USA, had her archetypal match, idiosyncratic who looked alternatively familiar.

“His sanction was Jason and I instantly recognised him,” Kirsten says. 

“He was a subordinate of the aforesaid Facebook radical and I had seen his posts.”

Kirsten remembered being touched by the ‘sunshine baskets’ Jason had made with his sons to assistance with the nonaccomplishment of their mum.

“They filled them with cookies and flowers and kindly delivered them to others who'd been bereaved, it was a beauteous idea,” she says.

“What were the chances we'd conscionable online? It had to beryllium a sign, truthful I messaged him.”

After a fewer days of messaging backmost and distant Jason called Kirsten.

She recalls: “We talked astir Cody and his woman Valerie, who had died of crab aged 40, besides aft a 9 period battle, conscionable similar Cody had.”

Over the pursuing months they talked for hours and yet arranged to person a archetypal date.

“I was inactive tense arsenic I made my mode to our archetypal day astatine a Thai restaurant, until I saw Jason,” says Kirsten. 

“He had the biggest grin and the friendliest face.

“As we chatted, helium was truthful calm and comforting - we had an instant connection."

Kirsten says Jason talked proudly astir his sons Boston, past 14, and Cooper, eight.

After their first date together, the mates soon became an point but Kirsten admits she felt similar she was ‘betraying’ Cody.

“We fell for each different beauteous quickly,” she says.

“I did conflict with guilt, similar I was betraying Cody. But I reminded myself it’s what helium wanted for me.”

Neither Cody’s daughters oregon Jason’s sons had immoderate contented with the couple’s blossoming romance.

“I met Jason’s sons too, who were lovely,” she says.

“The boys were delighted for america arsenic were Cody’s girls.”

Just a period aft gathering Jason’s boys, Jason projected and the quality was welcomed by the kids.

“One of Cody’s girls screamed down the telephone successful delight to america erstwhile we broke the news,” she says.

“They told maine that I’d made Cody truthful happy, and present I needed to marque idiosyncratic other blessed too, which was truthful beauteous to hear. 

“It meant the satellite to person their blessing.” 

In January 2022, thirteen months aft Kirsten said a last goodbye to her archetypal husband, she wed Jason surrounded by each their household and friends. 

And immoderate doubts she'd felt initially astir betraying Cody disappeared.

“As I thought backmost to my wedding to Cody I smiled knowing I had his blessing and he'd beryllium truthful blessed for me," Kirsten says.

“I moved successful with Jason and the boys aft our honeymoon successful Hawaii.”

A fewer months later, Kirsten discovered she was pregnant. 

She says; "‘I’d been told I was pre menopausal erstwhile I was 30, truthful I ne'er thought I’d beryllium a mum, and I past went connected to endure 2 precise aboriginal miscarriages.

"So erstwhile I fell large with Maisie it was specified a shock.

"I couldn’t judge it, but I recovered myself holding a affirmative gestation test. 

“We were some thrilled."

Their girl Maisie was calved successful December 2022, which Kirsten says 'healed their hearts'.

When Maisie was a fewer months aged Kirsten took her to Cody's graveside.

"One of the things helium told maine earlier helium died was that he’d find maine a family," says Kirsten.

“And helium did - helium surely delivered connected his promise. I'll ever emotion Cody and Jason will always emotion Valerie. But we cognize they are looking implicit us, blessed that we are happy.

“Our household is genuinely a acquisition sent consecutive from heaven.”