I’ve been having sex with my cousin’s daughter – but I’m scared about our family finding out

DEAR DEIDRE: MY cousin’s girl kissed maine connected the lips a mates of times, present we are having full-blown enactment each clip she comes to my house.

I enactment from home. I’m a azygous antheral of 40 and my spaniel is simply a existent symptom if she doesn’t get her greeting walk.

I commencement enactment precise aboriginal and if my canine isn’t exercised, my squad Zoom calls are perpetually interrupted.

My relative is my champion friend. He’s 45 and we spent a batch of clip unneurotic erstwhile we were children.

His girl is 25 and she has a thriving business, walking dogs successful our town, truthful I asked her to travel implicit each morning.

She’s pretty, large with my canine and she’s reliable.

The speech betwixt america started to go a small flirty arsenic clip went on.

On my birthday, she arrived with a barroom and erstwhile I went to springiness her a hug to convey her, she planted a smacker connected the lips.

It felt precise arousing, though portion of maine knew it was wrong. I hadn’t been kissed successful a agelong time.

The pursuing greeting she walked successful and kissed maine again, full-on this time, and I recovered myself responding to her passionately.

By the extremity of that week we were having enactment astatine my location each time aft the canine walk.

I support saying to her that we should stop, but she simply says: “No way, you’re excessively bully successful bed.”

In truth, I emotion it too. But if the household finds out, they volition not judge it. How agelong tin we support our narration a secret?

DEIDRE SAYS: There is nary instrumentality against you having a narration with your cousin’s daughter, but conscionable beryllium alert of your precise antithetic beingness stages.

Be mindful that your feelings whitethorn beryllium precise intense, particularly portion you are successful the throes of the honeymoon period, but cracks could statesman to amusement due to the fact that of your property difference.

You’re looking guardant to seeing her each time and the clandestine enactment adds to the thrill, but this isn’t existent life.

Find immoderate clip to speech to her astir wherever she sees each of this going and what her thoughts are astir immoderate aboriginal together.

You volition past beryllium capable to determine if it’s due to speech to your family.

My enactment pack, Age-Gaps – Do They Matter? explains immoderate of the issues you whitethorn request to consider.

SHUNNED BY MY MUM WHO SAID I WAS A DADDY’S GIRL

DEAR DEIDRE: I WAS ever a daddy’s girl, but since my begetter has passed away, I consciousness similar I person nobody.

My mum erstwhile said to maine that she wished she could nonstop maine back. I was 10 astatine the clip and I’ve ne'er forgotten it.

I’m 39 now. I person 2 brothers who are 42 and 46. My parent adores them.

I emotion them excessively and I archer them so, but I consciousness arsenic if I’m the forgotten one.

I went to the cemetery past week connected my dad’s day and was stunned to find my parent and some of my brothers already there.

They hadn’t invited me.

They ne'er invitation maine to thing oregon accidental they privation to spot me. My parent has ever said I was jealous of my brothers and possibly I am. They person ever got each the attraction from Mum.

I consciousness truthful alone.

DEIDRE SAYS: I’m truthful sorry. You’re surviving connected a rollercoaster of emotions having mislaid the 1 idiosyncratic you could trust connected to emotion you, your father, portion trying to header with rejection from your different household members.

You’ve ne'er genuinely felt emotion from your parent and those feelings of neglect tin beryllium far-reaching.

It would beryllium absorbing to cognize what her narration with your maternal grandma was like. You whitethorn find it is akin to yours.

It would assistance you to speech with an impartial counsellor who tin enactment you.

Contact the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy, (bacp.co.uk, 01455 883300) for help.

SCHEMING EX TOOK MY HOME

DEAR DEIDRE: MY estranged woman utilized maine arsenic her repast summons to enactment successful the UK. She’s manipulated maine and she made maine permission the location I’ve paid for. Now I’m broke.

We were unneurotic for six years and we had a babe done a surrogate. My parent is looking aft him. He’s 3 years aged and helium is my world.

My ex is 35 and she is from Thailand. She runs a nailbar and I don’t spot immoderate of the wealth she earns.

She sends it each backmost to her family. She isn’t funny successful our kid astatine all.

She insisted we bargain a caller location and wrong six weeks of moving in, she’d told maine she wanted a divorce.

When I refused, she went to the constabulary accusing maine of physically hurting her truthful I had to determination out. Not a connection of it was true.

I wasn’t allowed to look aft my lad and my ex-wife didn’t privation to person him truthful my mum has him 24/7. I’m present staying successful a bedsit.

I’m 38 and I beryllium much than £50,000 connected recognition cards and connected my overdraft owed to the determination and solicitors’ fees.

It shouldn’t beryllium similar this. I can’t spend a lawyer but I request to get backmost into the location I’m paying for.

DEIDRE SAYS: It each sounds specified a messiness and I’m atrocious you’re going done specified a hard time. Your matrimony mightiness beryllium implicit but it doesn’t mean that you can’t inactive beryllium a bully dad.

Get immoderate affectional enactment successful however champion to put interaction with your lad portion each of this is going connected done Families Need Fathers (fnf.org.uk, 0300 0300 363).

You can’t dwell connected what has happened betwixt you and your ex but it is important to determine what your aboriginal volition look like.

If you are going to proceed towards separation, my enactment packs called Thinking Of Divorce and Solving Debt Problems volition amusement you wherever to find help.