I’ve had a f***ing great time, said Ozzy Osbourne as we celebrate his last hurrah as rock’s greatest hellraiser

OZZY OSBOURNE is the “Prince Of Darkness” who, for decades, has shone a agleam airy into our lives.

When helium takes to the signifier successful his hometown connected July 5, it volition beryllium a past hurrah for the lovable Brummie — rock’s top hellraiser.

Despite contending with capable ailments to capable a aesculapian dictionary, helium volition spell down warring with that wide grin connected his comical face.

I’ve met Ozzy many times implicit the past 20 years and person ever near his institution reasoning helium could person had a palmy alternate vocation arsenic a stand-up comedian.

Never beryllium fooled into reasoning he’s not the sharpest weapon successful the drawer — walk a spot of clip with the “Godfather Of Heavy Metal” and he’ll person you successful stitches with his speedy wit.

The announcement that Black Sabbath are reuniting for a mega dense metallic fest astatine Villa Park alongside Metallica and a big of large bands reminded maine of this classical Ozzy anecdote.

It was astir Sabbath’s bassist and main lyricist Geezer Butler.

He said: “Geezer is simply a vegetarian. When helium walked disconnected stage, I asked him, ‘Does Your woman devour meat?’

“And helium replied, ‘Yeah.’ So I said, ‘What, bash you person a f***ing funeral each clip she has a bacon sandwich?’”

This brought america connected to his astir infamous incidental — the infinitesimal helium spot the caput disconnected a bat, reasoning it was made of rubber.

It happened connected January 20, 1982, astatine the Veterans Memorial Auditorium successful Des Moines, Iowa, during the Diary Of A Madman solo circuit erstwhile a subordinate of the assemblage threw the mediocre carnal onto the stage.

Ozzy aboriginal claimed that the bat was inactive live and helium thought it had managed to wound him first, hence helium needed attraction to forestall rabies.

‘Bucket connected my head’

He told maine however his audiences had ne'er fto him hide the ­incident crossed the decades since it happened.

“At 1 of my gigs, idiosyncratic fto a canine spell with a motion connected its leg, saying, ‘Please don’t devour me!’ ”

Ozzy besides talked astir however helium loved to clown around, a spot similar the precocious large Tommy Cooper successful his pomp, but that his antics didn’t ever spell down excessively good with his bandmates.

Of 1 peculiar tour, helium said: “Most nights, I slipped implicit connected the stage. I astir fell into the f***ing orchestra pit.

“I mean it’s pugnacious connected the different guys. When they’re getting each serious, I marque them laughter and they get p***ed off.

“Nothing’s rehearsed with me. One day, I’ll conscionable enactment a bucket connected my head.”

It’s bittersweet to deliberation that Ozzy, 76, tin nary longer prance astir similar a loon, that helium “can’t walk” immoderate more due to the fact that of his worsening Parkinson’s disease.

He adjacent made a quip to maine astir that: “I privation I could get my equilibrium back.

“I was looking into these bionic legs which you tin get present — past I truly would beryllium Iron Man!” (A notation to 1 of Black Sabbath’s biggest, astir bone-crunching tracks).

When I spoke to him past October, conscionable earlier helium was inducted into the Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame for a 2nd time, Ozzy managed to enactment a affirmative rotation connected his situation.

“I’m astir f***ing dead!” helium cried. “But [wife] Sharon said to maine recently, ‘If you had to bash it each implicit again, would you alteration anything?’

“I answered, ‘No, I’ve had a f***ing large time’.”

He adjacent broke into the immortal opus from his favourite film, Monty Python’s Life Of Brian.

“Always look connected the agleam broadside of life… life’s a portion of s**t, erstwhile you look astatine it.”

Then helium launched into different typically comic anecdote: “I utilized to sing that to my kids erstwhile they were babies. I emotion that movie!

“The different time I went to my chiropractor successful Beverly Hills. Who should beryllium sitting successful the waiting country but John ‘f***ing’ Cleese. It was similar gathering the Pope!”

The information that his last gig is successful Birmingham promises to marque it 1 of the astir affectional days of Ozzy’s beingness little ordinary.

‘People freaked out’

When he appeared astatine the Commonwealth Games closing ceremony determination successful 2022 alongside Sabbath guitarist Tony Iommi dressed similar a Christopher Lee-style vampire, Ozzy told me: “It doesn’t get immoderate amended than playing Birmingham — conscionable to basal connected signifier successful my hometown, playing live.”

This prompted maine to look backmost astatine immoderate of our older interviews erstwhile helium talked astir the aboriginal days of Sabbath, earlier “getting palmy and having your ego ‘f***ing oiled up”.

In 2009, I flew to Los Angeles and took a cab retired to the mansion helium shared with his “rock” Sharon and countless dogs.

Sharon was distant filming America’s Got Talent and Ozzy had the tally of the place, which included a swish caller basement studio.

It was conscionable extracurricular the doorway to this that I had my representation taken with the eternal prankster pretending to strangle me.

Later, we sat successful his library, oregon possibly “man cave” is simply a amended description, surrounded by his postulation of World War II memorabilia, including the opera glasses of Eva Braun, Hitler’s muse.

There, Ozzy sifted done the mists of clip to erstwhile Sabbath started retired successful the precocious Sixties.

“It was each astir ‘If you’re going to San Francisco, beryllium definite to deterioration immoderate flowers successful your hair’.

“But we were surviving successful f***ing Birmingham, thing I’m not ashamed of.

“When we archetypal toured America, radical truly freaked out!” Of the 4 members, Ozzy had the straightest, neatest hair and was the astir baby-faced. The others had, shall we say, a much primeval look.

Ozzy had hated schoolhouse (“I couldn’t clasp a ruler”) but helium loved music, and helium credited 1 set successful particular.

“The Beatles were everything to me,” helium said. “They were the crushed I started singing. They blew my brains out.”

Getting Sabbath up and moving was hard . . . Ozzy remembered choosing to walk what small currency helium had “on a container of chips oregon a packet of Players No.6 fags.”

With their thunderously dense sound, the arguable references to Satanism crept successful aboriginal on.

Ozzy said: “I deliberation it was Tony [Iommi] who said to us, ‘Isn’t it unusual that radical wage money to get the s**t frightened retired of them?’.

“So we decided to marque scary music. Plus Tony’s ever been a f***ing large riff guy.”

Another cardinal origin was the wild, nightmarish imaginativeness of Geezer Butler.

“He wrote large lyrics,” said Ozzy. “I utilized to telephone him up and go, ‘Are you f***ing speechmaking this retired of a book?’.”

Sabbath’s travel to the acheronian broadside came astatine a price, though — a backlash from spiritual types trying to prevention their souls.

Ozzy said: “We got these Jesus freaks pursuing america around. One time, I’d done a gig, got connected a autobus and I was travelling for 7 oregon 8 hours.

‘Black masses’

“We were successful the mediate of nowhere, aboriginal hours of the morning, and this feline walks up and hands maine a transition from the Bible.

“I’m like, ‘Where did you travel from?’. He said, ‘Oh, I was astatine the gig’.

“We besides started getting invites to achromatic masses successful cemeteries. What the f*** was each that about!”

As Sabbath grew, Ozzy got sucked into chaotic excesses of the stone prima lifestyle. That meant oceans of booze, mountains of drugs and endless madcap antics.

He erstwhile said: “When you travel from Aston and you autumn successful emotion with cocaine, you deliberation it’s similar your archetypal f***! The satellite went a spot fuzzy aft that.”

In his autobiography, Ozzy described how, successful 1981, helium was invited to a gathering with his grounds statement caput successful Germany, “p***ed retired of my head”.

So, to lighten the mood, helium performed a striptease connected the table, earlier kissing the enforcement connected the lips.

Sharon aboriginal revealed that helium goose-stepped up and down the array and urinated successful the executive’s wine, but was excessively drunk to retrieve that gory detail.

Not agelong ago, helium said to me: “I can’t kick due to the fact that I’ve done immoderate f***ing anserine things successful my life.”

He remembered 1 hair-brained lawsuit successful particular: “Once, I was retired successful Albuquerque, wherever they person this cablegram car 1,000ft up, going to a edifice astatine the apical of a tiny mountain.”

The time aft the nighttime before, aft an concern intake of booze and amerciable substances (well, it was successful Breaking Bad country), Ozzy was asked: “What astir erstwhile we went up to that restaurant?”

“What restaurant?” helium replied. “Well, you climbed done the extortion of the cablegram car and stood connected the extortion belting retired Black Sabbath songs,” came the answer.

Ozzy sighed: “I looked up astatine it and a acold shiver went done my body. I had nary hint I’d conscionable done that!”

In 2022, I asked him if helium missed the hellraising and helium answered: “On the 4th of July, my woman and I celebrated our 40th wedding day and I said to Sharon, ‘What the f*** happened to 40 years?’

“I mean, I tin retrieve the aboriginal Black Sabbath years rather good but I honestly don’t retrieve a batch of it since.”

He was astatine pains to constituent out: “It’s 7 years since I had a drink, 7 years cleanable and sober. Don’t fume tobacco, don’t drink, don’t bash drugs. It’s rather boring actually.”

So, what could helium inactive bash to springiness him a hit, I asked. “The lone happening near is masturbation,” laughed Ozzy.

On a much superior note, the large survivor added: “Nearly each the friends I utilized to portion and bash drugs with are dead.

“I indispensable inactive beryllium present for a reason!”

That crushed is his loving household – woman Sharon, his children and grandchildren – and his eternal tendency to entertain.

“The lone happening I tin bash successful beingness is entertain people, I emotion it,” helium said. “I’ll lone halt erstwhile a conifer lid is being nailed to my box.

“When I archetypal recovered retired I had Parkinson’s I thought, ‘F***!’, but past I thought, ‘It could beryllium worse, I could beryllium dead’.

“The information is, what americium I going to bash astir it? With the clip I’ve got left, I don’t privation to beryllium astir being miserable.

“Everybody would similar to beryllium maine for a weekend. I’ve had a f**ing large life.”