I was diagnosed with HIV at 21 – I feared I’d die and felt filthy, men ghost me but it’s the best thing that’s happened

A WOMAN has revealed that whilst astatine university, astatine the property of conscionable 21 years old, she was diagnosed with HIV. 

Ellie Harrison, 28, from Manchester, explained that she was successful a semipermanent relationship astatine the time, but her satellite was rapidly turned upside down by an at-home STI test.

Speaking connected a caller podcast occurrence of Should I Delete That?, with Alex Light and Emily Clarkson, Ellie shared each connected however HIV (Human Immunodeficiency Virus) transformed her world. 

Ellie claimed that anterior to her diagnosis, she had nary symptoms and was going retired clubbing 4 times a week.

However, erstwhile she was told she had the virus, which attacks the body’s immune system, making it harder to combat disconnected infections and illnesses, she went into afloat panic mode and believed she was going to die.

Not lone did she consciousness ‘filthy’ and ‘dirty’ astir her diagnosis of HIV, which is dispersed done interaction with an infected person’s assemblage fluids, but it made dating a existent challenge.

Whilst galore men ghosted her aft she shared her health status, others would simply garbage to buss her erstwhile connected dates.

But now, six years later, Ellie is an activistic and a unit for change, keen to rise consciousness and interruption the harmful misconceptions galore radical clasp astir HIV.

Speaking connected the podcast, the HIV campaigner bravely opened up astir her diagnosis, arsenic she said: “I worked astatine ASOS, I was partying, I was having fun. 

“I’d been successful a agelong word narration truthful I’d had a fellow for astir a twelvemonth and a half.

“I had to determination backmost to Birmingham to decorativeness my studies, and I thought our narration would person a batch of strain - helium was older than me, I conscionable didn’t spot however it was truly going to work, truthful earlier we broke up I decided to get a location STI test.”

But whilst Ellie "didn't expect anything” and “had nary symptoms”, her beingness rapidly changed successful a mode she could person ne'er predicted.

After a ‘false positive’ for HIV, Ellie was asked to person a blood test, and conscionable a week later, she got a telephone telephone that made her shiver.

She added: “A week aboriginal they called maine and said to travel successful present truthful I didn’t truly request to beryllium told what was astir to hap to fig retired I was to beryllium told I was HIV positive. 

“I was shocked. I ne'er successful my wildest dreams would person imagined I could person caught HIV.

“I was 21, I was going done a batch and I deliberation mentally I was connected a precise steep, downhill spiral. I didn’t privation radical astir me, I benignant of wanted to wallow a small bit.

“I thought I was going to die. I thought it was a decease sentence.

“I rang my mum and dada immediately. They talked maine done everything. 

“They took maine to a Wetherspoons, I was necking pints of Guiness and I don’t fume but I was having 20 fags.

“I felt similar the sky had fallen but no-one other could spot it. Everyone other was carrying connected and beingness was mean and I was determination like, I consciousness similar my beingness is implicit and no-one other has noticed it.”

Ellie shared that the referral process moved fast, arsenic she admitted: “On the Monday I got told I had HIV, by the Tuesday I was successful the HIV session and by Wednesday I had medication. It was rapid.”

But for this blonde beauty, her CD4 (cluster of differentiation 4) level was highly low.

CD4 is simply a glycoprotein recovered connected the aboveground of immune cells that helps combat infection, arsenic she shared: “A mean person’s CD4 number is betwixt astir 1,000 and 1,600.

“Back successful the 80s, if it dropped beneath 200 it’s what they called AIDS.

“Now AIDS technically truly doesn’t beryllium successful the UK due to the fact that the medicine is truthful advanced, but 200 was the benchmark, if you dropped beneath that, you were successful trouble.

“I was astatine 84 erstwhile I got diagnosed truthful I was astir apt 3 oregon 4 weeks disconnected of being hospitalised and I had nary idea.”

In 2023, it was reported that 53% of the 39.9 cardinal radical surviving with HIV globally were women and girls. 

In the UK, women marque up 1 3rd of radical surviving with HIV. 

Ellie explained that she was devastated by her diagnosis and adjacent suffered horrendous broadside effects from the medication.

She confessed: “I deliberation 1 of the doctors took pity connected however devastated I was. I was crying nether a array successful a infirmary room.

“When I started the medication, my tegument blistered truly badly, each implicit my look was agleam reddish blisters and it didn’t assistance for astir 4 months. It was awful. It was a truly evident broadside effect. 

“It was due to the fact that my immune strategy was truthful low, my assemblage was trying to combat it off.”

And telling radical the news didn’t travel casual for Elllie, arsenic she recalled: “I’ve had HIV for six years. The archetypal 3 years I was precise quiescent astir it to an extent. 

“I didn’t archer anyone different than my mum, my dada and my champion friend, for astir a month.

“I felt filthy, I felt truthful dirty.”

Ellie didn’t spell to immoderate enactment groups, but successful her last twelvemonth of university, made the determination to unfastened up publically astir surviving with HIV.

Whilst she was shielding astatine her parents’ location during the Coronavirus pandemic, she explained: “I filmed a video to enactment connected YouTube. There’s truthful galore radical that didn’t know. It was hard to screen up the lies, I couldn’t retrieve what I’d told radical oregon excuses I’d made for doctors appointments. 

“It was getting hard to manage. So I conscionable enactment it connected my idiosyncratic Facebook. The effect was that large I moved it to YouTube.

“From that I truly started connected rather assertive activism astatine immoderate points. 

“It’s truthful taboo and radical don’t privation to speech astir it. They’re truly frightened and I was too.”

But whilst Ellie’s mindset towards her diagnosis has shifted passim the years, it has made her dating beingness somewhat of a challenge, arsenic she explained: “I had a large ‘why me?’ complex. That was a batch of my trauma astatine the time. 

“I’m amended astatine dealing with it now. I utilized to outcry erstwhile I told men, it was awful. 

“Some radical couldn’t attraction little and are precise understanding. I’d accidental that’s 10 per cent. 

“The different 90 per cent, sometimes I get ghosted consecutive away, which successful the aboriginal days upset maine but present it offends maine more.

“The worst ones, I’ve been called immoderate precise horrific things connected dates aft telling them. 

“I’ve had radical garbage to buss maine aft I’ve told them which is weird due to the fact that you can’t drawback it from kissing.”

Six years aft her diagnosis, whilst Ellie recognises however overmuch HIV has impacted her life, she described it arsenic the ‘best happening that ever happened’.

Now successful a happy, caller relationship, she reflected: “I person flooded immoderate of the hardest things I deliberation anyone would person to spell done and I’ve done it successful my opinion with specified grace. I’m truthful arrogant of myself for being capable to execute that.

“There are decidedly things that I’m learning astir my narration with HIV that I didn’t realise was a problem. So there’s inactive definite stigmas that truly trigger me. 

“90 per cent of the time, HIV is the champion happening that ever happened to me, it’s similar an aged person now. 

“I’ve truly got to recognize it arsenic a microorganism and I’m truthful overmuch much empathetic than I was before, I’m truthful overmuch much assured than I was before, it’s fixed maine truthful much. 

“However, it did instrumentality portion of my life. For 3 years it was truly dark.

“I’m inactive processing a batch of that grief. I mislaid a life, I had a fellow who I loved, I had a job that I loved, my full beingness was astatine my feet and I was acceptable to spell and past successful a blink of an oculus it was each gone.

“I’m present gathering thing amended for myself truthful I don’t person to woody with that pain.”