I was so haunted by a soldier’s tattoo I had to tell his story

It was the representation successful the paper nonfiction that stayed with me. Haunted maine even. A ample tattoo of 7 beautiful, bright reddish poppies and, supra them, the silhouettes of 7 soldiers.

This striking tattoo that had been inked crossed the backmost of Rob French, a erstwhile Royal Marine, was perfectly beautiful. But perfectly heartbreaking too.

Because the caption beneath the photograph explained that the 7 poppies and the 7 silhouettes were drawn to correspond Rob’s 7 colleagues, each of whom died wrong weeks of each different successful Afghanistan successful December 2008.

This was November 2017 and Rob was quoted successful the paper saying: ‘Around this clip of twelvemonth the nationalist commencement wearing poppies to amusement that they retrieve the fallen, but for maine and each the different servicemen and women who person been to war, each azygous time is Remembrance Day.’

A fewer weeks later, incapable to get Rob’s communicative retired of my mind, I tracked him down. He warily agreed to conscionable maine connected information that the communicative wouldn’t absorption connected him oregon represent him arsenic a hero. On this helium was adamant.

He had lone agreed to person the archetypal communicative published, helium said, to rise consciousness for the Royal British Legion’s Poppy Appeal.

‘This is not for me,’ helium made clear. ‘It is for them. I americium ever remembering them. I transportation connected with my beingness but with them connected my backmost they are ever with me.’

He told maine however they had each died.

Marine Damian Davies, Sergeant John Manuel and Corporal Marc Birch were killed erstwhile a 13-year-old termination bomber approached them with a wheelbarrow packed with explosives. Lance Corporal Steven ‘Jamie’ Fellows was blown up successful a abstracted incidental the aforesaid day.

Marine Georgie Sparks and Marine Tony Evans had their lives taken by insurgents equipped with rocket-propelled grenades during a ft patrol successful Helmand province.

Lance Corporal Benjamin ‘Ben’ Whatley, aged 20, was killed by force occurrence during a fierce conflict connected Christmas Eve.

Rob, 42, who served for 9 years successful the Marines, had been diagnosed with post-traumatic accent upset and was intelligibly haunted by their loss, particularly Ben’s. He’d been killed 2 weeks aft Rob, a instrumentality gunner, was sent location with a breached wrist.

‘I person ever felt that if I was inactive determination I mightiness person been selected to instrumentality that presumption connected the aforesaid rooftop and truthful taken the circular that deed Ben. I inactive unrecorded with that guilt now.’

For a agelong clip the guilt was overwhelming, until, successful 2015, Rob reached retired for assistance from the foundation Combat Stress. He was referred to 1 of their therapists and astir the aforesaid clip decided to retrieve his aged colleagues with the tattoo. ‘So that they could beryllium with me, pushing maine on, alternatively than successful beforehand and holding maine back,’ helium explains.

The therapy and the tattoo gave him immoderate measurement of bid but the guilt ne'er truly goes away. Neither does the PTSD. Rob inactive suffers from nighttime terrors and flashbacks to his clip successful Afghanistan that are truthful existent helium tin virtually consciousness the vigor of the Afghan sun, odor the smells of the section bazaars.

Listening to Rob’s communicative I wondered however galore others, similar him, were surviving with PTSD? I started to probe the warfare successful Afghanistan. I work countless paper articles and testimonies of British soldiers who had served there. I work astir the horrific things they had been through, the shocking things they had seen.

I learned that, arsenic of July 2015, a full of 454 British forces unit oregon MOD civilians had died portion serving successful Afghanistan since 2001. I besides discovered that 2000 British soldiers and veterans are feared to person killed themselves since the Afghan penetration started.

Two thousand.

In 2012, much soldiers and veterans took their ain lives than were killed successful combat successful Afghanistan.

All bully radical similar Rob who fought for their state and paid the eventual price.

I thought astir those soldiers and Rob a lot. And past I decided to make a fictional hero. A decent antheral struggling to get his beingness backmost unneurotic aft serving successful Afghanistan. A bully man, similar Rob, and truthful galore others, inactive haunted by the deaths of the friends they mislaid retired there.

When galore years aboriginal I rang Rob to archer him I had a publication woody helium was thrilled. Not for him – again helium begged maine to archer that the communicative was not astir him – but that it mightiness rise consciousness of the issues surrounding PTSD.

We caught up astir his life. Rob is present studying for a grade successful science and grooming to go a therapist specialising successful PTSD and trauma. ‘My enactment has fixed maine intent – to beryllium capable to assistance different radical going done what I went through,’ helium told me.

‘Counselling turned my beingness around. Now, adjacent erstwhile things are pugnacious I realise that I beryllium it to the lads that did not travel location for maine to effort and person a bully life, not to propulsion it away, to assistance others.’

Family excessively has fixed him caller purpose. He has 2 sons, Joseph, 11, and Oliver, seven, and a girl Freyja, two, from his 2nd matrimony to Charlotte. ‘I cognize I’m 1 of the fortunate ones,’ says Rob, who lives successful Weston Super Mare.

But helium ne'er forgets those who aren’t arsenic lucky. He works tirelessly to rise wealth for subject charities and awareness for PTSD. He was adjacent among the guests for the Coronation of King Charles III successful Westminster Abbey successful designation of each helium has done to rise consciousness for PTSD.

There volition ever beryllium reminders, ever beryllium atrocious days. Just this past Christmas 2 much ex comrades committed suicide and Rob is inactive struggling to travel to presumption with their loss.

But being determination for his family, his caller vocation and his foundation enactment keeps him going. He is passionate astir helping veterans suffering from PTSD.

I anticipation that my book, Six Poppies, helps radiance a tiny airy connected what they each spell through.

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