Keke Palmer Says Fame and Parenthood Impacted ‘Out of Control’ Relationship With Darius Jackson

Keke Palmer was in the middle of a photoshoot when she suddenly felt the energy in the room shift. Before she could catch a glimpse of it, the people around her saw her now-ex-partner Darius Jackson publicly criticizing her on social media for an outfit she wore to an Usher concert. Within six months, Palmer and Jackson found themselves trading domestic violence allegations in court documents and battling for custody of their son, who was less than one year old at the time. In her upcoming memoir Master of Me, the actress describes the tumultuous relationship and subsequent split as being “the hardest thing I ever had to go through.”

In an interview with People, Palmer explained that the relationship suffered from a number of pressures and problems behind the scenes before those issues bubbled over to the public. But once it did, it felt more difficult to navigate without polarizing speculation. “It got so out of control, and the only way that you know how to bring order or control to something is the court,” she said. “That’s literally what it’s there for. It becomes difficult because I can’t control all the information. You have people like TMZ, they got friends in the court. It’s like, this is not for the public — this is for me to bring order within my family the only way that I know how. But the public’s still going to somehow know.”

Palmer described the early stretch of her relationship with Jackson as being “very spiritual,” highlighting the way they joined their “shared lonelinesses” and made a family within the space they created. Having their baby, Leo, added stress to the connection, but the actress notes that fame was already a complicated factor that impacted her romantic, platonic, and familial relationships. “It’s always become a burden,” she said. “Too many voices get in. It can make everybody else not trust you. It’s hard to explain.”

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When conflict within a relationship escalates to the point that it did for Palmer — who accused Jackson of physical and emotional abuse before he filed a claim alleging the same of her — she follows a simple mantra: “Walking away is the only way.” It’s the only way she found herself able to regain control long enough to find the center again. “I wish I could say he was terrible the entire time or that I was … but it wasn’t that black-and-white and that was the problem,” Palmer writes in her book. “I didn’t want my son to think his father is a monster, because I don’t.”

Since their split, Jackson has joined the military and they have found a balance over custody that works for their family unit. “I’m so proud of him and happy for him,” Palmer said. “I feel very at ease now knowing things are under control.” Writing Master of Me, out Nov. 19, helped Palmer regain a sense of control within herself, too. “I’m a more intentional person when it comes to how I want to be perceived and move through this world,” she said.