Late night show hosts lose their minds over Trump's triumph as Fallon says 'America has got back with its crazy ex'

Jimmy Fallon jabbed that America 'got backmost unneurotic with its brainsick ex' portion Stephen Colbert hysterically admitted he's 'not doing great' arsenic precocious nighttime miserably went done their paces aft Donald Trump had the past laughter astatine the polls. 

While not each precocious nighttime amusement had a specifically governmental bent, each of the left-leaning talkers addressed Trump's triumph successful a depressed manner. 

Colbert and Meyers issued pep talks for his solidly Democrat, Trump-Hating assemblage portion Jimmy Kimmel spoke to wide podcast Pod Save America and Jimmy Fallon discussed the results and sang a hopeful opus with The View's Whoopi Goldberg.

Seth Meyers gave his typical, 16-minute comic roundup of the amusement and The Daily Show went all-politics arsenic usual. 

The shows besides played recorded bits, with Fallon satirizing fast-talking anchors from cablegram quality and Kimmel mocking Americans who were Googling basal facts of the predetermination the time of the vote.  

The Late Show with Stephen Colbert  

Colbert posted a somber, direct-to-camera monologue and appeared beaten down by the results. 

'If you ticker this amusement regularly, I'm guessing you're not doing great. Me neither,' helium said. 

He past thanked everyone connected his unit and tried to marque the constituent that radical who hated Trump were 'not alone.'

'I'll fto you successful connected a small secret: nary 1 gets into this concern due to the fact that everything successful their beingness worked retired great. So we're built for unsmooth roads.'

He past tossed to his emblematic 'cold open' with clips of radical astir the satellite reacting to the election.

He utilized aged clips of a hockey subordinate angrily slamming his instrumentality to correspond Canada, video crippled leader Super Mario dejectedly saying 'mamma mia' for Italy and The Swedish Chef of The Muppets with fume coming retired of his ears. 

Colbert past delivered his typical, crowd-pleasing wide monologue successful which helium said 'it's hard to spot a agleam broadside here.'

He opened with profanity, saying: 'Well, f***. It happened again. After a bizarre and vicious run fueled by a hopeless request to not spell to jail, Donald Trump has won the 2024 election.'

The comedian added that helium was wearing his 'fundamentally questioning my content successful humanity' sticker.

He besides deed backmost astatine radical who thought that Trump would springiness him loads of material, comparing it to a janitor complaining astir an detonation of diarrhea.

'In this ideology the bulk person spoken and said that they don't attraction astir democracy,' helium cracked.

Colbert past fto the assemblage applaud Kamala Harris and Tim Walz for moving their campaign.

He past called Trump 'a monstrous kid surrounded by cowards and grifters.' 

'The archetypal clip Donald Trump started arsenic a gag and ended arsenic a tragedy. This clip helium started arsenic a tragedy. Who knows wherever he'll extremity up... a limerick?' 

He besides bemoaned however Trump did amended with each imaginable demographic and noted that Google searches spiked for 'did Joe Biden driblet retired of the race' connected Election Day to hushed tones.

Colbert said Biden was 'a bully man' who he's going to miss. 

He past riffed connected however upset liberals were, noting that Trump volition beryllium the archetypal president to service 2 non-consecutive terms.'

'Cleveland was the person of thing called the Bourbon Democrats and this greeting I'm guessing determination were a batch of Bourbon Democrats,' helium joked, holding a solid of intoxicant successful his hand. 

He finished by saying earnestly that we should archer Jimmy Carter that Kamala Harris won. 

Jimmy Kimmel Live

Perhaps nary speech amusement big has upended their idiosyncratic narration to Trump than Kimmel, who was erstwhile affable with the erstwhile president.

Kimmel, successful a monologue headlined 'A Terrible Night,' began with a acold unfastened of his own.

The speech amusement big was seen packing his worldly and said to sidekick Guillermo that helium was 'leaving the country.'

'I can't enactment for different 4 years of this, who knows what he's gonna do?'

He past said that helium believed helium was connected Trump's database of enemies earlier Guillermo smacked him successful the look and encouraged him to enactment due to the fact that helium has 'a precise important voice.'

Guillermo past cracked that helium was 'going backmost to Mexico' and said: 'You're connected your own, buddy!'

Kimmel past pb disconnected his monologue saying: 'I spent a batch of clip implicit the past 17 hours reasoning astir what I would accidental tonight, what determination adjacent is to accidental and... there's nothing, bully nighttime everybody!'

He past deemed it 'the worst taco Tuesday of my full life' earlier joking that Democrats had 'decided not to rig' this election.

'He's similar the emperor from Star Wars: He's old, he's evil and helium keeps coming backmost with nary tenable mentation whatsoever.'  

Kimmel past addressed 'those of you that are hate-watching tonight' and confirmed determination 'was nary joy' for him past night. 

He riffed connected the insurrection, saying that Kamala Harris conceded earlier 'explaining to Trump what conceded means.'

Kimmel reaffirmed that 'America is the top state successful the world' by calling Trump 'a garbage antheral and McDonald's fry navigator tin go the two-time president of the United States' portion saying Tim Walz was 'playing a solemn crippled of cornhole.' 

He past made a stance, saying: 'It was a unspeakable nighttime for everyone who voted against him and a unspeakable nighttime for everyone who voted for him, you conscionable don't recognize it yet.'

The ABC big slammed Elon Musk and 'tech bros' earlier admitting that 'the radical voted and this is the prime we made.' 

He past interviewed the wide Pod Save America co-hosts - Dan Pfeffier, Jon Lovett, Jon Favreau and Tommy Vietor - astir the results. 

The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon

Fallon is typically seen arsenic the slightest governmental of the precocious nighttime big but helium took a fewer cracks astatine the results past night.

'America got backmost unneurotic with its brainsick ex and elite Donald Trump arsenic the 47th president of the United States. No substance who you voted for, I deliberation we tin each hold it's going to beryllium a unsmooth Thanksgiving.'

He past riffed connected however Trump would person to determination his classified documents backmost into Washington and however helium could beryllium the archetypal president 'under White House arrest.'

Fallon besides joked astir Trump's value and property said that the electoral effect of 224 vs. 292 is 'Trump's made-up value versus his existent weight' and added that Biden 'will manus implicit his beingness alert necklace.'

The comic had ultra-liberal, Trump-hating histrion Whoopi Goldberg connected to speech astir what happened. 

'I deliberation we each get it. It happened, immoderate of america it went our way, immoderate of america it didn't, this is the quality of elections.'

She encouraged those who don't similar what happened to 'get retired determination and protest' to applause. 

Eventually, The View prima dueted with Fallon connected 'Tomorrow' from her upcoming show successful the philharmonic 'Annie.' 

Late Night with Seth Meyers 

Meyers introduced the amusement by saying that thing successful his 'brain broke a batch past night.'

He past made a akin plea arsenic Colbert, saying: 'What a privilege to beryllium present with you, to beryllium present with my colleagues, to not consciousness alone.

Meyers past admitted that fractional the state either thinks Trump is simply a bully idiosyncratic oregon thinks he's a bully president.

He past did a 16-minute agelong mentation of his regular authorities riff, 'A Closer Look' and devoted it wholly to the election. 

The NBC big said that Trump appeared to either deliberation it was brainsick that helium won and unenthused and exhausted with what had happened.

'He's astir to go the president, helium sounds similar he's looking done idiosyncratic else's abrogation photos.'

Meyers past riffed connected Elon Musk and RFK Jr. becoming members of Trump's cabinet.

'Musk volition arguably beryllium Trump's closest governing state successful a 2nd statesmanlike term. They privation you to deliberation they're conscionable edgelord podcasters but they're oligarchs.'

'They're not your bros, they're not gonna travel implicit to your location and fume weed and play Diablo with you.'

He besides criticized Republicans who had slammed Trump aft January 6 for rejoining him.

'We deliberation Democrats are being hyperbolic astir Trump's 2nd term, the antheral who helium picked to beryllium his vice president said helium could beryllium America's Hitler,' helium said, referencing J.D. Vance. 

He besides criticized voters successful plaything states and reddish states for approving termination referendums portion inactive voting for the antheral 'who took those rights away.'

Meyers past offered a hopeful enactment for his left-wing audience, noting that authorities ever changes.  

'The combat for justness doesn't extremity with 1 election, we indispensable gird ourselves for what comes adjacent and bash everything successful our powerfulness to marque existent the satellite we privation to unrecorded in.' 

After Midnight

Perhaps the least-heralded of the precocious nighttime entries, CBS' improv crippled amusement big Taylor Tomlinson quipped: 'It is an grant to beryllium connected tv portion women are inactive allowed to be.'

She past sarcastically riffed connected wishing for a amended clip successful the past. 

'Remember 2011, backmost erstwhile Joe Rogan wasn’t helping radical determine elections,” she said. He was conscionable helping radical determine if they were gonna devour bugs for money. Remember that?'

Like the others, Tomlinson riffed connected Trump's convictions astatine the hands of Manhattan's progressive District Attorney Alvin Bragg.

'Why does helium person to beryllium president? Usually, erstwhile you’re reintegrating an ex-con backmost into society, you conscionable person to fto them enactment astatine Baskin Robbins.'

The Daily Show

After having classical big Jon Stewart astir to respond to returns past night, analogous Desi Lydic took implicit the Comedy Central standard, which remains without a imperishable emcee minus Stewart's once-a-week appearances. 

Lydic led disconnected saying 'I slept 2 hours past nighttime and I consciousness similar s*** but present we are!'

She apoplectically declared the results 'a waking nightmare' earlier raging: 'It's official, America has elected its archetypal transgression president earlier electing its archetypal pistillate president.' 

Lydic besides called Trump 'the worst idiosyncratic successful the country' earlier having a akin gag to Fallon astir 'America getting backmost unneurotic with her dirtbag ex.'

The big past riffed connected however media pundits played some sides of each contented erstwhile playing the blasted crippled for Harris' loss. 

'This decision was truthful resounding that you could accidental thing and it would beryllium plausible,' she said.

Lydic past decided to blasted the voters, saying that the American radical look to emotion Trump. 

'Whatever's incorrect with him, we f***ing emotion it. Donald Trump is holding up a reflector to the American radical and it mightiness beryllium clip to instrumentality a good, hard f***ing look.' 

Kamala Harris officially conceded the predetermination to Donald Trump successful a code to her devastated fans successful Washington D.C. - aft President Joe Biden called his caller successor to congratulate him.

Harris thanked her supporters and said her 'heart is afloat of spot and emotion of our country' and said she's 'so proud' of the contention she ran. 

'The result of this predetermination is not privation we wanted, not what we fought for, not what we voted for,' she said, adding that America's airy won't spell retired arsenic agelong arsenic 'we ne'er springiness up and we support fighting.' 

Trump's governmental comeback was hailed arsenic the 'greatest successful history' aft the erstwhile president successfully destroyed the 'blue wall' of traditionally Democratic stronghold midwestern states, securing wins successful Michigan, Wisconsin and Pennsylvania.