Meet ‘Austrian Ange Postecoglou’ leading Hoffenheim to brink of relegation as ‘Doctor Tottenham’ face perfect patient

WHAT is German for ‘Dr Tottenham volition spot you now’?

That self-deprecating operation is utilized by Spurs fans to poke amusive astatine themselves erstwhile their squad someway suffer to a broadside successful hopeless form.

They wheeled it retired aft Crystal Palace earned their archetypal triumph of the play against their broadside connected October 27, and past again pursuing November’s daze location decision to winless Ipswich.

Need to find a triumph from nowhere? Doctor Tottenham’s office, please.

Expect a repetition medicine if brag Ange Postecoglou’s walking wounded travel a cropper astatine Hoffenheim tomorrow.

Because if you deliberation Spurs’ play has been a nightmare, instrumentality a look astatine however Thursday’s Europa League opponents person been faring.

Christian Ilzer’s broadside person managed lone 7 victories from their 27 games successful each competitions this season.

Rival fans whitethorn beryllium having a bully laughter astatine Spurs’ perilous league authorities close now.

But few judge they volition really beryllium relegated — though the aforesaid cannot beryllium said for Hoffenheim.

The Germans were winless successful nine, having netted conscionable THREE times successful those fixtures, earlier Saturday’s much-needed 3-1 triumph astatine drop-zone rivals Holstein Kiel.

They are 3 points supra the Bundesliga dotted enactment aft that immense triumph successful their six-pointer, which came disconnected the backmost of an epic X-rated rant from nine stalwart striker Andrej Kramaric.

The 33-year-old, successful his tenth play astatine Hoffenheim, blasted aft past Wednesday’s 5-0 pasting astatine Harry Kane’s Bayern Munich: “This is 1 big, s*** season, I’m going to beryllium honest.

“And I’m inactive brushed due to the fact that if I privation to accidental the information and immoderate things which are connected my caput astir the nine and the situation, astir apt I volition get the biggest punishment successful the past of the Bundesliga.”

England fans whitethorn retrieve Kramaric from the heartbreaking World Cup semi-final nonaccomplishment to Croatia successful 2018, with the guardant coming connected successful extra-time.

He besides netted the opener erstwhile Gareth Southgate’s Three Lions exacted immoderate revenge with a 2-1 triumph successful the Nations League a fewer months later.

Three years earlier that the 102-cap guardant had a little stint astatine Leicester — including during their historical title-winning run — but if you blinked, you whitethorn person missed it.

Brought successful for £9.5million from Rijeka successful January 2015, determination was a four-game play a period aboriginal erstwhile helium was keeping Foxes fable Jamie Vardy retired of the squad — but it did not last.

He ended up with conscionable 3 goals successful the 2nd fractional of that season, past was frozen retired by brag Claudio Ranieri successful the next, unforgettable season.

Kramaric made lone 2 league appearances during the run successful which Leicester shocked the world, some disconnected the bench, leaving him good abbreviated of the required 10 to triumph a medal.

That January helium was shipped disconnected connected indebtedness to Julian Nagelsmann’s Hoffenheim — and has stayed determination ever since.

Kramaric has enjoyed European shot — including the Champions League — successful astir fractional of his seasons astatine the German nine arsenic a imperishable player.

Which explains wherefore helium is truthful incensed astatine their failings this term.

His eye-catching comments went down good with frustrated fans, but little truthful astatine committee level oregon successful the dressing room.

One of Kramaric’s digs was that the nine “invested truthful overmuch wealth for nothing”, aft a £56m spree connected 8 players this word — the fifth-highest walk successful the Bundesliga.

Slaughtering your caller team-mates and those who bought them seemed risky, yet aft 309 appearances and 109 goals, intelligibly Kramaric felt helium deserves to accidental his piece.

None of the incomings person been hits, with defender Robin Hranac and guardant Haris Tabakovic peculiarly poor.

That was not helped by galore of them being signed by an interim sporting manager successful Frank Kramer, stepping up concisely from his academy manager role.

Former Spurs people Gift Orban arrived this period nether the caller recruitment squad but is not deemed acceptable capable yet to play Ilzer’s lung-busting benignant of play.

Similar to Postecoglou, Austrian Ilzer favours an aggravated pressing crippled and portion it worked successful his archetypal crippled — a 4-3 triumph implicit RB Leipzig — it has been disastrous astir of this season.

Kramaric has threatened to spell “a small harder” with his disapproval if things bash not prime up, which is hard to ideate fixed his comments truthful far.

So, amazingly, Hoffenheim are successful even much of a messiness than Spurs going into tonight’s clash.

But arsenic immoderate travelling fans up with the Deutsch lingo mightiness say, ‘Doktor Tottenham wird Sie jetzt empfangen’.