‘Mera beta toh nahi darta mere se’: Ajay Devgn on building a friendship with his teenage son; how open conversations on dating and boundaries create trust

When asked astir his son’s age, Devgn mentioned he’s “nearly 14” and acknowledged that this apt means he’ll soon commencement dating. “Wo treatment karta hai mujhse (he discusses it with me)… we are precise escaped with each different connected that.”

When asked if he’s presently dating someone, Devgn replied, “Usko uski limitations samjhani padti hain, buss umar tak kya limitations hai ( person to assistance him recognize what limitations are due for his age)… and helium understands it.”

This honorable and friend-like attack highlights the value of creating a harmless abstraction for teens to research questions astir dating and relationships without feeling judged oregon overly restricted.

Creating a harmless and welcoming situation for teenagers to sermon relationships and dating openly

Kamna Chhibber, a Clinical Psychologist and caput of Mental Health for the Department of Mental Health and Behavioral Sciences astatine Fortis Healthcare, tells indianexpress.com, “Having open conversations from an aboriginal property matters most. The sooner you start, the much they go accustomed to discussions and physique their knowing and perspective.”

Additionally, she mentions that dismissing concerns oregon simply giving feedback arsenic a “yes” oregon “no” without providing rationale oregon position is unhelpful. Instead, stock however and wherefore you deliberation the mode you bash truthful your kid tin besides make that capacity.

Creating a harmless situation besides depends connected giving your kid assurance that determination won’t beryllium important antagonistic reactions erstwhile they marque mistakes, adds Chhibber. “From the precise beginning, close them with patience and kindness truthful they don’t make a fearfulness of feedback.”

Effective ways for parents to present age-appropriate boundaries and limitations

Chhibber advises, “Boundaries and limits should beryllium introduced aboriginal on. Being permissive initially and past trying to propulsion backmost connected these aspects tin pb to conflict.” 

Use situations that hap astir you — whether from your child’s adjacent radical oregon the media — to sermon topics related to boundaries and choices successful relationships. Linking these to worth systems and aligning them with goals the kid needs to absorption connected tin beryllium helpful.

Maintaining a relaxed attack to conversations is essential. (Source: Freepik)

Balancing the roles of person and authorization figure

Parents request to recognize that adjacent if they follow a affable attack — meaning they tin perceive without interrupting, being forceful, oregon insisting connected their mode — they are inactive authorization figures, recommends Chhibber.

“Maintaining a relaxed attack to conversations is important. Avoid becoming excessively harsh but beryllium consenting to acceptable boundaries erstwhile necessary. Allow children to research and build their approach, adjacent if it means making mistakes. However, there’s a good equilibrium successful drafting the enactment regarding information oregon different indispensable values they request to make for themselves,” she says. 

Strategies for gathering spot truthful that teens consciousness comfy coming to their parents for advice

Chhibber highlights that parents indispensable recognise that they whitethorn sometimes beryllium the ‘bad guy’ successful their children’s eyes. “However, if they enactment unfastened to listening and are flexible alternatively than rigid, children volition consciousness much comfy coming to them.”

Large reactions, specified arsenic expressions of daze oregon disgust, tin discourage children from sharing openly. Keeping responses calm and composed helps forestall children from holding backmost their experiences retired of fearfulness of judgement.