Merry Christmas? Not if woke warriors and their Puritanical fun police have their way

The younger generations would see a Christmas buss tantamount to intersexual maltreatment (Image: Getty)

And truthful farewell past mistletoe, ta-ta the Christmas kiss, it's been fun, but the joyless caller Puritans of woke person decreed you are a sexist, misogynist, throwback and indispensable beryllium cancelled forthwith.

We unrecorded successful a satellite of people which allows afloat and unhindered entree to scenes of gang-rape astatine the click of an net button, but a cheeky peck connected the feature nether the mistletoe is the unacceptable look of the tyrannical antheral hegemony and indispensable beryllium eradicated.

“Mr Mistletoe” Nick Champion, who has held Britain's pre-Christmas mistletoe auctions for astir 50 years, said income of the Xmas staple had collapsed due to the fact that the younger generations would see a Christmas buss tantamount to intersexual abuse.

Not, of course, the existent intersexual maltreatment that goes connected regular acknowledgment to alleged “dating” apps (you cognize who you are...) which no-one seems to attraction a fig about, but that posturing level of not-really-abuse-at-all which allows the perennially woke and so their representatives successful HR to posture and preach and virtuousness signal.

Think wolf-whistling. Crass yes. Dated, certainly. But abuse? Not really.

(My spouse is brave capable to admit she really likes it.)

So the Christmas buss is added to the naughty list, on with, y'know, the “Christ” spot of Winterval.

And arsenic each twelvemonth passes we determination further distant from the existent Christian festival celebrating bully volition to each men and person to a godless meaningless, supermarket-sponsored, highly stressful orgy of spending, discarded and hypocrisy.

Black Friday with much tinsel.

Christmas, spot maine kids, conscionable ain't what it utilized to be.

We person allowed ourselves to go a state wherever contented is to beryllium loathed, wherever past is to beryllium re-written, wherever the Christian religion supra each others is allowed to beryllium ridiculed, mocked and hated with implicit impunity (anyone fancy telling the nation's Imams that Eid is henceforth to beryllium known arsenic “Springval”? Thought not.)

Christmas has simply mislaid its sparkle and its magic.

In our woke-obsessed satellite everything volition beryllium cancelled oregon re-purposed: God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen volition go God Rest Ye Merry CIS-gendered males, Frosty volition beryllium renamed “Frosty the clime denying snowman” arsenic the mediocre sod plainly has 2 eyes made retired of fossil fuels, Mary Had a Baby sure, but not without adding (but Joseph could person had 1 excessively you bigoted TERF!)

As for Santa – an aged antheral breaking and entering and sneaking into children's bedrooms successful the mediate of the night... seriously?

I went to Midnight Mass successful a northbound London religion past twelvemonth because, nostalgic aged fool that I am, I rather similar singing Christmas carols and I wanted to rekindle that lukewarm consciousness of belonging, shared acquisition and assemblage I enjoyed arsenic a kid.

There were 18 of us.

I counted.

I presume everyone other was utilizing the past dying minutes to walk adjacent much wealth they could not afford, oregon possibly getting disconnected their corporate faces, celebrating for reasons they no-longer understand.

And that, sadly my friends, is the existent tone of Christmas 2024.