My house is so run down that I’m paying workmen in sex for odd jobs and renovations

DEAR DEIDRE: MY location was becoming truthful tally down that I person started to usage men to assistance with the upkeep.

None of them knows astir each different and successful the past mates of years

I’ve had respective moving connected unusual jobs, renovations and DIY projects.

I person had the extortion repaired, a chimney repointed, caller plumbing, a state boiler fitted and galore different tiny jobs, including assembling flat-pack furniture.

The men person had enactment connected pat and the occasional blistery repast thrown in.
I’m a 42-year-old divorced pistillate and aft my matrimony broke down

I could lone spend a small, run-down house. I didn’t person the wealth to walk connected it.

Although the spot is successful a ­better state, I consciousness atrocious astir what I’ve been doing. I’m surely not arrogant of what I’ve done but what prime bash I have?

I’m successful a narration of sorts with a mates of the men but my bosom isn’t successful it immoderate more.

One is simply a lovely, benignant widower who is successful his 50s and who sorted retired the dodgy electrics. He is simply a fantastic person who spends clip implicit enactment and makes definite I americium happy.

The different is simply a brickie successful his 30s, who has conscionable finished repointing a wall. He is successful an abusive narration but feels incapable to permission his woman due to the fact that they person a small girl.

He says helium couldn’t carnivore not to spot her each day.

It’s truly getting maine down that I person resorted to giving them intersexual favours successful instrumentality for their enactment and past led 2 of them on, believing they are successful a narration with me.

I privation to beryllium loyal and trustworthy but however tin I fto them some spell without them feeling used?

I didn’t acceptable retired to wounded anyone but I was desperately successful request of assistance and support. I americium struggling with however to halt this behaviour.

DEIDRE SAYS: You’ve been fortunate that nary of these men look to person worked retired what has been going on.

You are not arrogant of what you’ve been doing but they request ne'er cognize what your ulterior motive is.

Your conscience has kicked successful truthful for bid of mind, and self-respect, it’s clip to telephone clip connected these arrangements.

If you privation to extremity these relationships past that is your right. Tell them arsenic kindly arsenic you tin that it has been fantastic but it is over. My enactment battalion Ending A Relationship explains more.

If you are struggling financially, interaction turn2us.org.uk (0808 802 2000).

Hook-ups are electrical but that’s each helium wants to do

DEAR DEIDRE: THE feline I’m seeing lone ever wants to conscionable for sex, which we bash successful hotels.

When we’re unneurotic helium makes maine consciousness similar the astir peculiar idiosyncratic successful the world. It feels electrical and the enactment is amazing.

I’m a pistillate of 33 and he’s 26. We’ve been seeing 1 different for astir 3 months but I’ve known him for years.

If we bump into each other, helium instantly messages me, wanting to spot maine but different than that helium doesn’t connection astatine all. I effort not to connection him arsenic I don’t privation to look needy. I miss him, though, and deliberation astir him constantly.

I grin erstwhile I deliberation astir him but astatine the aforesaid clip I’m precise confused. People cognize astir us. He has kissed maine successful beforehand of radical we some know. He won’t hesitate to amusement maine affection successful nationalist truthful wherefore is helium truthful silent?

I deliberation I’m falling for him. If I speech to him astir it, I deliberation he’ll tally a mile. I don’t privation to suffer him but I can’t support connected similar this. I request more.

DEIDRE SAYS: And you merit much too. You’re giving this antheral everything helium wants connected a plate.

The longer you transportation connected letting him person enactment with you, presumably erstwhile it suits him, the deeper the coiled volition be.

Tell him you’re looking for much than conscionable sex. This isn’t astir being needy, this is astir uncovering a narration that works for you.

If helium says no, archer him it’s implicit and artifact him. My enactment battalion Mend Your Broken Heart volition assistance you determination on.

ONCE AND I’M DONE… BUT IS SHE HAPPY?

DEAR DEIDRE: I CAN ne'er spell for a 2nd circular of enactment with my partner. It conscionable doesn’t hap and I don’t cognize why.

I americium a 42-year-old antheral and my spouse is 40. We person been unneurotic for 8 months and person a large relationship.

I emotion her and privation to delight her sexually each time. Everything is good the archetypal clip circular and, adjacent though I inactive consciousness turned on, my erection conscionable doesn’t last.

I find it truthful embarrassing.

My spouse has a precocious enactment thrust and I interest that she is becoming disappointed erstwhile I can’t execute again – adjacent though she hasn’t said thing truthful far.

If I bash negociate to get erect I cognize she volition privation enactment aggregate times a night, but I tin lone spell once.

Is thing incorrect with me? I interest she volition suffer involvement successful maine if I can’t benignant this out. Please help.

DEIDRE SAYS: Please don’t interest astir lone being capable to person enactment once.

After climax, each antheral volition spell done a betterment cycle. It is called the refractory period, which is erstwhile it is not imaginable to get different erection.

This clip is antithetic for everyone but it tin instrumentality thing from minutes to days and varies from antheral to man. Generally though, the clip betwixt erections increases arsenic you get older.

My enactment battalion Solving Erection Problems volition explicate more.