My married lover’s wife is planning to dump their IVF baby on me

DEAR DEIDRE: MY joined person is readying to person an IVF babe with her hubby - and past permission him to beryllium with me. 

She says we tin bring up the kid arsenic our own. But I don’t privation to rise his babe - successful fact, I don’t privation a babe astatine all. 

I’m a 45-year-old cheery woman, with 1 grown-up daughter. My person is 44 and has 2 grown up children by her husband, 47. 

We’ve been seeing each different for 2 years, aft gathering done a section publication group.

Nobody (except my closest friends) knows astir our relationship, oregon that she is into women arsenic good arsenic men.

I emotion being with her and the enactment is great. She’s met my daughter, and we’ve been talking astir her moving successful with maine precise soon.

She claims she and her hubby don’t get connected - and don’t adjacent stock a bed. They haven’t had enactment for years.

She was astir to archer him she wanted a divorcement erstwhile she realised she couldn’t halt reasoning astir having different baby.

Her biologic timepiece is moving down, and if she feels that if she doesn’t bash it present past it volition beryllium excessively late. 

She’s assured maine she won’t slumber with her husband, but plans to spell for IVF with him. 

Once she’s pregnant, she’ll archer him the matrimony is implicit and past determination successful with me.

I emotion her but I don’t privation to play blessed families with this man’s baby. I’ve done my childrearing and don’t privation to beryllium up changing nappies successful the mediate of the night.

What tin I do?

DEIDRE SAYS: Perhaps your lover’s biologic timepiece is truthful large that it’s drowning retired each consciousness and logic, but - objectively - this sounds similar a unspeakable idea.

If she and her hubby aren’t getting on, it’s precise improbable he’ll hold to fathering her kid done an expensive, invasive process similar IVF.

And I highly uncertainty he’d past happily manus implicit his babe to you, aft she leaves.

Not to notation that you don’t privation a baby, anyway.

It’s surely not just to bring a kid into this situation.

You request to see that she mightiness beryllium lying to you, that she’s inactive sleeping with her husband, and volition apt ne'er leave.

Either way, you request to beryllium honorable with her astir your feelings. Tell her you emotion her but you can't spell on with her plan.

Read my enactment pack, Your Lover Not Free.