My wife has been cheating on me with her female friend – I’m not sure I can get over this

DEAR DEIDRE: WHEN my woman stayed implicit astatine her champion friend’s level aft a boozy nighttime out, I was disquieted she had taken a feline backmost with her.

The information was worse. I learned that she’d really cheated with her pistillate person — and it wasn’t the archetypal time.

I’m 36 and my woman of 5 years is 34. A fewer weeks ago, she went connected a hen night, telling maine it was safer to enactment astatine her friend’s spot afterwards.

Her person is 33, azygous and ever connected the pull, truthful I was disquieted she mightiness pb my woman astray.

After my woman came home, she seemed evasive, which made maine suspicious.

I kept asking what had happened. Eventually, I wore her down and she admitted that she had been unfaithful — but not with a guy.

Crying, she confessed she had slept with her friend. And not conscionable that — it had happened before, respective times implicit the erstwhile 9 months.

I was gutted, not conscionable that she had cheated but besides due to the fact that she’d repeatedly lied to me.

She has begged maine to forgive her, saying she has been feeling confused astir her sexuality, but loves me.

She past told maine she’d had a lesbian brushwood erstwhile she was a student. I had nary idea. She says those feelings person reawakened implicit the past year.

She claims what happened was a mistake but I can’t get my caput astir that. Once mightiness beryllium a mistake, but respective times?

And wherefore enactment astatine her friend’s level erstwhile she knew what would happen?
I’m not definite I tin get implicit this.

DEIDRE SAYS: Finding retired your woman has repeatedly cheated with a pistillate has travel arsenic a immense daze to you.

You are dealing with not lone her infidelity, but besides the information that she has intersexual feelings for women, which she had ne'er told you.

It is imaginable to get implicit an infidelity. But if your woman is confused astir her sexuality, past she needs to enactment done these feelings.

Don’t beryllium tempted to promote her to suppress her sexuality. I’m acrophobic that would lone supply a short-term solution.

It mightiness beryllium omniscient for you and your woman to question counselling, some unsocial and unneurotic truthful you tin enactment retired if you person a aboriginal arsenic a couple.

My enactment packs How Counselling Can Help and Bisexual Questions should beryllium adjuvant for her to read.