Nicole Kidman explains why she wakes up 'crying and gasping' at 3 am

Nicole Kidman has mortality connected her mind.

The Oscar victor precocious mourned the decease of her parent Janelle, who passed distant successful September astatine property 84. The 57-year-old mislaid her father, Anthony, successful 2014.

In an interrogation published on GQ Monday, the histrion admitted that her emotions person been "even more" adjacent to the aboveground arsenic she reflects connected her future.

'THE PERFECT COUPLE' STAR NICOLE KIDMAN LIVES 'NORMAL LIFE' IN TENNESSEE WHILE DOMINATING HOLLYWOOD

Actress Nicole Kidman opened up to GQ mag astir raising her children portion losing her mother. (VALERIE MACON/AFP via Getty Images)

"Mortality. Connection. Life coming and hitting astatine you," the prima described arsenic what she has been feeling much profoundly than ever.

"And [the] nonaccomplishment of parents and raising children and matrimony and each of the things that spell into making you a afloat sentient human," she admitted. "I’m successful each of those places. So beingness is, whew. It’s decidedly a journey."

"And it hits you arsenic you get older how… it’s a aftermath up astatine 3 a.m. crying and gasping benignant of thing," she continued. "If you’re successful it and not numbing yourself to it. And I’m successful it. Fully successful it."

Nicole Kidman's mother, Janelle Ann Kidman, left, died successful September. (Getty Images )

When Kidman’s parent passed away, the "Babygirl" actress promptly near the Venice Film Festival and returned location to Australia.

Director Halina Reijn work a connection astatine the festival connected Kidman’s behalf during what would person been her acceptance code for Best Actress. Reijn, 48, noted that Kidman had flown to Venice lone to find retired "shortly aft that my beautiful, brave mother, Janelle Ann Kidman, has conscionable passed."

"I'm successful daze and I person to spell to my family, but this grant is for her," work Reijn. "She shaped me, she guided maine and she made me. I americium beyond grateful that I get to accidental her sanction to each of you done Halina. The collision of beingness and creation is heartbreaking, and my bosom is broken."

"… It hits you arsenic you get older how… it’s a aftermath up astatine 3 a.m. crying and gasping benignant of thing. If you’re successful it and not numbing yourself to it. And I’m successful it. Fully successful it."

Nicole Kidman's father, Anthony Kidman, died successful 2014. He was 75. (Lee Celano/WireImage for BWR Public Relations/Getty Images)

Kidman besides told GQ however she was with her daughters, Sunday Rose and Faith Margaret, who were 4 and 6 years aged astatine the time, erstwhile her begetter passed away. The outlet described Kidman arsenic "devastated and crying" astatine the time.

"The small 1 was conscionable truthful small that she didn’t cognize whether I was acting oregon not," Kidman said astir 1 of her children. She said, ‘Mummy acting now?’ And the older 1 was like, ‘No, mummy not acting now.’ But the older 1 was like, ‘You won’t beryllium bittersweet successful the morning?’ Because they don’t privation a location afloat of sadness. Who does?"

Kidman said she needed to enactment done the symptom to beryllium determination for her family.

WATCH: KEITH URBAN TALKS ABOUT OPENING THE 2023 ACMS AND HIS MARRIAGE TO NICOLE KIDMAN

CLICK HERE TO GET THE FOX NEWS APP

"… Before you cognize it, you’re pushing through," Kidman said. "And by pushing done for them, you’re getting better. Because it goes on. That earthy enactment of however it’s meant to go. The parents, past you, past the children. That’s the earthy course. So, if that happens, that’s a blessing."

The "Big Little Lies" prima antecedently shared that it was her parent who encouraged her to prosecute her dreams arsenic an actress.

"She’s fixed maine the occurrence to prosecute the vocation I person due to the fact that I’ve ever wanted to delight her," Kidman told The Sydney Morning Herald successful 2020, arsenic quoted by The Hollywood Reporter.

CLICK HERE TO SIGN UP FOR THE ENTERTAINMENT NEWSLETTER

From near to right, Keith Urban, Faith Margaret Urban, Sunday Rose Kidman-Urban, Sybella Hawley and Nicole Kidman astatine the AFI Life Achievement Award connected April 27, 2024, successful Los Angeles. (Gilbert Flores/Variety via Getty Images)

LIKE WHAT YOU’RE READING? CLICK HERE FOR MORE ENTERTAINMENT NEWS

"… She besides carved her ain way and wanted her daughters to person the aforesaid accidental to carve their ain paths," said Kidman. "Mum didn’t needfully get the vocation that she wanted, but she was determined that her daughters would person opportunities that were equal."

"That’s fixed maine my life," she reflected. "And she gave maine my life, she and my dad."