SAUCY SECRETS: My husband destroyed my self-esteem with his 'innocent' secret. Now I've found out... and I don't think I'll ever get over his betrayal

Dear Jana,

For implicit a twelvemonth present my spouse has failed to support an erection. It's truly affected our enactment beingness and I believed it was due to the fact that helium didn't find maine charismatic enough, which erstwhile questioned helium hardly denied. 

Last week I was rummaging done his bedside gully for our spare telephone charger I recovered immoderate pills I had ne'er seen earlier truthful I Googled them, and it turned retired to beryllium antheral signifier hairsbreadth nonaccomplishment tablets. Many articles came up during my google hunt informing of the drugs nexus to erectile disfunction. Judging by the adjacent bare bottle, he's been taking them for rather a portion and made maine judge that our chamber issues were down to maine and not his rapidly receding hairline. I'm truthful angry! 

How bash I broach the taxable with him without looking similar I was prying done his drawers? It's travel arsenic a immense alleviation but I'm struggling to get implicit the deception.

Help!

Anonymous

Oh anonymous,

This volition beryllium the simplest reply I've ever given, and I tin sum it up successful 1 word… divorce. Yes, divorcement that man. How situation helium marque you consciousness unattractive each due to the fact that he's vain astir his bloody chrome dome.

We women already person to woody with periods, gestation and perimenopause, and present this antheral wants to propulsion 'unattractive' onto the heap of crap we're already dealing with.

No. At the precise slightest helium deserves a bully metaphorical spanking. (Not a existent one, we ne'er condone unit people!) And I wouldn't springiness 2 hoots if helium arced up astir you going done his drawers, propulsion the damn pill packet successful his absorption and shriek 'WTF?'.

Sure, we're each vain astir something. I mean, I've got a five-finger forehead that could awesome aliens successful outer abstraction if they strapped a radar to my head, but bash you spot maine negging men due to the fact that I'm insecure astir it? No. I conscionable jolly good get connected with it.

This antheral allowing you excessively consciousness insecure due to the fact that of his insecurity is infuriating, and helium deserves a bully talking to. So accidental 'not contiguous Satan!' and marque it wide that it's not good for him to task his insecurities connected to you. Full stop.

Dear Jana,

I've been chatting with a joined feline connected LinkedIn aft gathering him connected a cruise with my kids. I'm a recently azygous ma and saved up to instrumentality my kid connected this trip. While connected board, we connected with different family, and our kids became friends, truthful we ended up having dinners together.

One night, aft a agelong time of fun, his woman took their kids (and my daughter) backmost to their compartment for a slumber party. He and I stayed astatine the barroom for a nightcap, and things got a small flirty, but we kept it harmless. Now that we're backmost home, he's pursuing maine connected LinkedIn. My friends deliberation helium chose that level due to the fact that his woman is little apt to cheque it.

I truly bask our conversations, but I can't shingle the feeling that it could pb to trouble. I'd similar to enactment friends, but is it risky? What bash you think?

Anonymous

Ahh yes, the level that sneaky cheaters flock to for a small flirtation - I cognize it each excessively well.

Your friends are bang connected with their opinions. This feline knows that if his woman is looking to drawback him out, Instagram and Facebook are her archetypal stops. But 'LinkedIn is simply a vocation networking app, for goodness' sake,' arsenic my dodgy ex-boyfriend erstwhile enactment it.

Spoiler alert: helium was up to nary good.

A speedy Google hunt volition uncover countless articles suggesting that LinkedIn has go the caller dating app, and I person to agree. I'd suggest passing disconnected that vacation flirtation arsenic a one-time happening and absorption connected uncovering a cardinal different disposable men to befriend (or more). And decidedly steer wide of this 1 - there's thing scarier than a scorned wife. Trust me.

Dear Jana,

I anticipation you tin assistance maine out. After 17 years of marriage, I find myself backmost successful the dating world, and honestly, I'm feeling lost. Things person changed a batch since my past date! How bash women similar to beryllium dated these days? Back then, I'd conscionable telephone their location telephone and instrumentality them retired to dinner. Now, these dating apps look similar a full caller ballgame and I'm uncovering them overwhelming.

I'm truly conscionable looking for a bully pistillate to settee down with, but I support proceeding that I should beryllium dating aggregate women and that drinks are the mode to spell alternatively of dinner. I could truly usage immoderate proposal connected however to navigate this caller dating country arsenic a feline successful his precocious forties. Any tips for this aged fuddy-duddy would beryllium greatly appreciated!

Thanks,

Roger

Roger, Roger, Roger, invited to the modern dating era! You'll emotion (**cough cough, hate) it here. My archetypal spot of proposal is to halt listening to everyone other and day nevertheless the heck you want.

If you privation to invitation a beauteous woman retired for a bully meal, past spell for it! If you similar to day 1 pistillate astatine a time, I springiness you a mighty thumbs up. There are nary rules successful the crippled of love; it's each astir what makes you consciousness comfortable.

But instrumentality it slow. This isn't a contention to find the adjacent Mrs. Roger. You mightiness beryllium feeling a small lonely and mislaid successful the satellite of azygous life, but rushing to capable that void often leads to atrocious decisions. So, the archetypal measurement is to get comfy being alone. Figure retired who you are without a pistillate connected your arm, and you'll person a amended thought of the benignant of idiosyncratic you could happily walk the remainder of your beingness with.

So wherefore not day a fewer women - 1 astatine a clip if you like? Just similar Goldilocks took her clip figuring retired which porridge she liked best, instrumentality your clip to get to cognize each woman's property and spot who works champion with yours.

Get retired there, stud, and remember: dates are expected to beryllium fun, not occupation interviews!