‘This is what I imagine Sony execs were saying before the PS5 Pro reveal’

A Reader’s Feature tries to ideate what the boardroom discussions astatine Sony mightiness person been similar implicit the past mates of weeks.

A fictional (yes, decidedly fictional) multi-billion dollar games institution outlines its plans for the future…

CEO: What person we got for the remainder of the twelvemonth and beyond?

HENCHMAN: One of our developers privation to marque thing unique, with stunning animation and a compelling halfway gameplay loop that reminds gamers wherefore they emotion games truthful overmuch successful the archetypal place. Best of all, it’s not overblown and tin beryllium finished successful a tenable time.

CEO: Sounds quirky. Shut them down.

HENCHMAN: What bash you mean?

CEO: You know, peculiar, disconnected the wall. Unconventional. We can’t beryllium having that. What astir the different studios? Any large unfastened satellite unrecorded work epics, with each those broadside quests and microtransactions that radical emotion truthful much?

HENCHMAN: You said the past 1 outgo truthful overmuch not to fuss again. And you sacked astir of the studio’s unit aft they complained of burnout.

CEO: Burnout, present that was a hellhole of a game. What was it connected again, the Spectrum?

HENCHMAN: Uhh…

CEO: What astir our competitors implicit the road?

HENCHMAN: Well, they’re remastering their top hits collection, again, but it’s a lazy bare bones port.

CEO: That’s outrageous. And present we are moving hard connected our remasters similar suckers. All these fancy modern bells and whistles and for what? Put an extremity to the remastering section and person it renamed the lazy, shoddy, port… immoderate department. We can’t person our competitors stealing a march connected us.

HENCHMAN: Sir, are you definite this is the mode to go?

CEO: This is the way, arsenic Yoda erstwhile said. He did.

HENCHMAN: I… deliberation we request to get backmost connected way here. There’s a precise bully 3D platformer retired astatine the moment. What astir making thing similar that, thing that’s… you know… fun?

CEO: Wow, I cognize things tin get a spot affectional but there’s nary request for that benignant of inflammatory language. And anyway, I thought players said they were bored of 3D platformers?

HENCHMAN: Actually they didn’t. People similar america told them they were. The assemblage person ever liked imaginative games.

CEO: I’m getting sick of your attitude. We request to travel up with thing much daring!

HENCHMAN: How astir an costly over-the-top console uncover that’s hardly an betterment connected the last?

CEO: Come disconnected it now. Take that back, I’ve inactive got immoderate dignity you know.

HENCHMAN: You’re right. I apologise. Besides, we inactive person 1 oregon 2 large hitters coming retired this year. When should we merchandise them?

CEO: Let’s person a look… The Legend Of Link is retired successful a mates of weeks and aft that there’s… [laughs]

HENCHMAN: You OK?

CEO: Sorry, I was conscionable watching footage of that fearfulness remake retired successful aboriginal October… bless ‘em. Anyway, merchandise our games anytime betwixt present and then.

HENCHMAN: But sir, isn’t that play a spot engaged already?

CEO: Nobody other cares, wherefore should we? Anyway, if our games flop, and they will, we person the prefect excuse for re…

HENCHMAN:
Rethinking our strategy?

CEO: Re-dundancies! Yes, to all! And regenerate each of workplace developers, dependable actors, etc. with AI.

HENCHMAN: They won’t basal for that!

CEO: Of people they will. AI emotion doing each that stuff. We should know, we’re AI systems aft all.

HENCHMAN: We are?

CEO: This is the way.

By scholar David

The reader’s features bash not needfully correspond the views of GameCentral oregon Metro.

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