We need to settle this debate: Is it OK to call records ‘vinyls’?

I effort not to beryllium judgmental, but I person a happening for close nomenclature and due pronunciations. I’ll fto descent anyone who pronounces the “L” successful “calm,” and I’ll springiness a small spot of slack to anyone who initially struggles with “quinoa.” But if you importune that “Uber” (as successful “You’ve had excessively overmuch to drink. Let maine telephone you an Uber”) is pronounced “Yuber,” that’s erstwhile the reddish mist descends.

I besides get a small brainsick erstwhile idiosyncratic pronounces David Bowie’s past sanction similar it’s the beforehand of a boat. Despite being spelled “Gahan,” the sanction of the pb vocalist of Depeche Mode wants you to cognize that it’s “Dave GAHN.” And the feline retired beforehand of Queens of the Stone Age? Contrary to thing you’ve heard, it’s Josh HOMmy. (Trust me. I’ve talked to the man.)

I get adjacent much exorcised erstwhile idiosyncratic insists connected utilizing the connection “vinyls” erstwhile it comes to euphony pressed onto plastic. This isn’t conscionable a mispronunciation; it’s a modern perversion that’s crept into the English connection implicit the past mates of decades.

English is precise unusual went it comes to however words are expected to sound. It tin lone beryllium learned, though, done pugnacious thorough thought. In astir cases, we’ll adhd an “S” to a connection to pass that there’s much than 1 of an object. Linguists accidental that wide nouns are taxable to “countification.” But not always.

Vinyl is similar deer. We don’t accidental “Hey, look astatine that herd of deers!” It’s conscionable “deer.” Type either word into immoderate connection processing situation and you’ll instantly beryllium greeted by a squiggly reddish enactment beneath it, telling you to smarten up. But excessively galore radical caller to grounds collecting importune that if you person much than 1 vinyl record, you person vinyls. No, you don’t. You person 2 oregon much vinyl records.

I recognize however this tin beryllium confusing. A “record” is thing that was recorded, beryllium it connected vinyl, magnetized cellulose tape, oregon the amalgamation of integrative and aluminum that goes into the manufacture of a compact disc. When old-school records (read: vinyl) went retired of manner successful the ’90s, we inactive went to a record store to bargain our CDs. A CD is simply a subspecies of record. So is simply a cassette, conscionable with a much circumstantial name.

I was astatine a grounds amusement past play with tables and tables of LPs (long-playing 33 1/3 RPM records) and seven-inch singles (45 RPM records) successful a hallway that was filled with collectors of each ages. In that community, you volition ne'er perceive “vinyl” utilized successful its plural form. If anyone did, they’d instantly exposure themselves arsenic a hobbyist, a dabbler and a newbie. And if you’ve ever seen the movie High Fidelity, you’ll cognize however grumpy the vinyl assemblage tin be. “Shouldn’t you beryllium buying astatine Urban Outfitters for euphony to play connected your portable Crosley turntable?”

To beryllium fair, erstwhile the vinyl medium was archetypal introduced successful 1948, “vinyls” was an acceptable term. After all, the linguistic rules of “countification” applied, right? In fact, if you spell backmost to euphony magazines from the 1950 and 1960ss, you volition occasionally tally crossed a plural signifier of vinyl. I punctuation from a Time mag nonfiction published successful 1964: “While a fewer audio purists mightiness quibble implicit the fidelity of immoderate of the vintage vinyls …”

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It’s unclear erstwhile the displacement to “vinyl” arsenic a plural word happened, but for decades, 1 had a “collection of vinyl” erstwhile it came to music, not a “collection of vinyls.” Even the Oxford English Dictionary defines vinyls lone arsenic it relates to the assortment of antithetic chemic formulations of polyvinyl chloride.

Why specified pushback? Shouldn’t grounds collectors invited members into their nine successful bid to assistance the format proceed its resurrection and viability? Well, yes, but we grounds collectors tin beryllium a stubborn and blimpish batch — and frankly, a batch of america person been astir a agelong time. One of the galore reasons radical are attracted to vinyl records has to bash with their permanence, the tradition, and the past down the format. “Vinyls” is simply a elephantine peeve amongst those who kept the format live during those acheronian years. Despite pleas from sources specified arsenic Variety, we volition not bend. We are not OK with your caller slang.

There’s besides been fierce absorption to what’s seen arsenic a hipster power connected our world. Are you trying to beryllium ironic and chill by insisting connected saying “vinyls?” Is this your revenge connected Boomers and gen X? Ain’t gonna work, fella. We volition outcry you down. Young radical who privation to beryllium portion of the herd request to cognize the connection if they privation to beryllium taken seriously. Imagine going into a haute couture boutique and asking for the latest from VerSASE alternatively of Ver-SA-chee.

Look, we each marque mistakes and there’s a learning curve erstwhile it comes to being accepted by a societal tribe. So please, going forward, usage the pursuing plural options erstwhile referring to aggregate grooved integrative euphony retention media: Records, LPs, albums and vinyl records. Heck, I’ll adjacent instrumentality “wax” implicit “vinyls.”

Now if you’ll excuse me, I request to prime up a lawsuit of brew to spell on with a bully assortment of food and a kilo of shrimp that I program to provender to my sheep. See what I did there?

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