Husband’s explanation for secret stash of women’s underwear was not what I expected

DEAR DEIDRE: WHEN I started uncovering women’s underwear hidden astir the house, I was convinced my hubby was cheating connected me. 

He had been acting disconnected with maine for weeks, truthful I wasn’t each that amazed by the discovery. 

Yet erstwhile I confronted him helium assured maine that I’d got it each incorrect and that helium had a concealed fetish. Now I don’t cognize however to feel. Should I beryllium appalled oregon relieved?

I’m 43 and my hubby is 47. We’ve been joined for 7 years aft gathering online 10 years ago.

We’ve ever been truthful adjacent but present it feels similar I’m joined to a implicit alien - idiosyncratic with weird intersexual preferences. 

He’s a large feline who loves value lifting. I was looking for his bluetooth speakers successful his gym container erstwhile I archetypal discovered a brace of lacy women’s knickers. 

Then I recovered 3 much pairs of women’s pants astatine the backmost of his sock drawer - each antithetic sizes and styles.

Seriously rattled, I went done his telephone whilst helium was asleep. I expected to find substance messages but to my surprise, I discovered email confirmations of his underwear orders.

Soon after, I demanded to cognize what was going on. 

He rapidly admitted he’d been buying women’s underwear due to the fact that they turned him connected but tried to reassure maine it was conscionable a harmless kink.

Ever since I’ve not been capable to look astatine him the aforesaid mode and person avoided enactment ever since..

I’ve tried my champion to hide astir it but I’d beryllium lying if I said I wasn’t a spot freaked out.

How bash we determination past this?

DEIDRE SAYS: I’m definite you some would emotion much than thing to conscionable determination connected and hide it happened, but unluckily this can’t beryllium ignored.

Fetishes are often portion of who idiosyncratic is, truthful it whitethorn beryllium unrealistic to request helium stops outright. 

You some request to sermon what his fetish means to him, tin helium compromise, does helium request to participate, tin you inactive envisage a future?

I would powerfully urge you some spell and spot a enactment and narration therapist who tin assistance you to enactment done what this kink mightiness mean for your relationship. 

While immoderate men simply bask wearing women’s underwear from clip to time, for others it is simply a motion of a deeper rooted request to formal arsenic women permanently.

Please interaction COSRT (Cosrt.org.uk) who tin link you to a reputable counsellor.