I can’t stop thinking about an intense kiss with colleague, two decades ago

DEAR DEIDRE: I CAN'T halt fantasising astir an aggravated buss with an aged colleague, 2 decades ago. 

My matrimony is truthful boring and sexless that escaping into fantasy-land helps maine get done the day. How tin I get backmost to reality?

I’m 45 and person been joined to my husband, 47, for 18 years. We person a grown-up son.

My matrimony is dead. It feels similar we’re conscionable flatmates.

We hardly talk, and we haven’t had enactment for truthful agelong that I can’t adjacent retrieve the past time. I’m truthful frustrated.

Before I met him, I had a agelong flirtation with a feline astatine work. At the bureau summertime party, we shared a kiss. 

It was the astir passionate, breathtaking buss I’ve ever had.

Nothing came of it and we some moved connected from that workplace. 

But now, I deliberation astir it each day. I ideate what mightiness person happened had we slept unneurotic and started a relationship, 

I’ve adjacent tracked him down connected societal media and person been hanging astir his area, hoping I mightiness bump into him.

I cognize I’m being ridiculous but it’s the lone happening that’s keeping my spirits up.

DEIDRE SAYS: You’re fantasising astir a clip erstwhile you felt live and desirable.

It’s natural, fixed however stale your matrimony is. 

But arsenic you know, thing tin travel of this. You request to plough your energies into fixing your matrimony instead. 

Try to retrieve wherefore you fell successful emotion with your husband. 

Tell him however you feel. Say however overmuch you miss intimacy.

Perhaps you could suggest going retired connected a date, oregon adjacent a play away, to shingle things up.

My enactment packs, Looking After Your Relationship and Saving Your Sex Life, should help.