I slept with 2 guys in 24 hours – how I felt after shocked me

Stumbling done the pathway by my house, I chuckled to myself arsenic I recounted what I’d conscionable done.

Minutes earlier, I was getting blistery and dense with a precise charismatic gentleman, Jonah*, up against a fence. I don’t mean gentle kissing – we’re talking full-on fondling with 1 of my legs wrapped astir his waist.

I was cracking up due to the fact that helium was not the archetypal antheral I locked lips with that time – helium was really the third. In fact, I’d shagged the different two, but decided against making it a trifecta.

On that fateful time astir 15 years agone – erstwhile I was successful my aboriginal 20s – I woke up successful furniture with a gorgeous hunk named Steve*, who had the benignant of grin that melts butter.

We would bent successful the aforesaid societal circles but weren’t precisely adjacent friends. The sex was decidedly casual.

Steve near astir 10am aft we spent respective hours unneurotic betwixt the sheets. His sojourn was welcome, though unexpected – peculiarly arsenic I had a day arranged with idiosyncratic other for that day.

Gentleman fig two, besides known arsenic Freddie*, and I had known each different for a while. We met up astir 5pm for drinks and I had a feeling we mightiness shag, but it wasn’t a given.

The enactment was bully but precise spur of the moment. Afterwards, I went to conscionable a fewer friends for drinks astatine a section bar.

That’s wherever I ran into Jonah. I had seen him astir municipality but we’d ne'er spoken before.

We ended up walking location unneurotic and well, you cognize the rest. Things astir escalated to enactment but fixed we were successful nationalist – and the information that I was already a spot shagged retired (literally) from my erstwhile chamber activities – I decided against it. 

I was inactive laughing arsenic I walked done my beforehand door, partially due to the fact that I felt similar the feline who got the pick and partially due to the fact that I couldn’t rather judge my ain actions.

However, I was amazed when, the adjacent morning, I woke up feeling rather dissimilar myself.

I went to furniture empowered, yet awoke feeling a small embarrassed.

Despite knowing that my actions the erstwhile time wounded nary one, and near maine – and my intersexual partners – feeling good, the acquainted feeling of internalised misogyny began gnawing astatine me.

At this clip successful my life, I was studying overseas successful a sunny municipality fashionable with backpackers. So astir of my weekends were spent partying with friends and casual enactment was beauteous communal successful our crowd. 

We were young and horny – and the blistery upwind lone made our feelings much intense. Having always been a sex-positive pistillate who believes each idiosyncratic has the close to bask their assemblage to the fullest, I was determined to person arsenic overmuch amusive arsenic I damn good pleased.

So these feelings of shame were wholly astatine likelihood with the proudly hedonistic manner I was leading.

Later that day, I was retelling the communicative to a person implicit drinks erstwhile a nagging feeling bubbled up wrong of me. She didn’t accidental thing nasty – successful fact, she mostly laughed and told maine the full happening was superb – and yet, I felt a tad uncomfortable.

Maybe I imagined it but I thought I saw a hint of soundless judgement successful her eyes. Thinking back, if I americium genuinely honorable with myself, I deliberation that judgement came from wrong myself.

I was not ashamed of what I did, nor did I regret it. I inactive don’t.

But ingrained misogyny is hard to fight. Sometimes, it creeps backmost up conscionable to marque you consciousness atrocious astir yourself.

After all, nine has been telling women that we should beryllium ladylike, due and well-mannered ever since the time Eve supposedly spot the apple. 

And I’ve been called capable names implicit the years to cognize that a pistillate admitting to shagging 2 men wrong 24 hours volition irk immoderate people.

But inquire yourself, would you attraction arsenic overmuch if I were a man? Probably not.

Even though I cognize I did thing wrong, I would beryllium lying if I said this acquisition of dealing with internalised misogyny didn’t signifier immoderate of my aboriginal intersexual encounters. 

A fewer years ago, I was dating 3 men astatine the aforesaid time.

I didn’t support anyone successful the dark. I was precise unfastened astir the information that I was ‘playing the field’ and they were good with it.

Though, erstwhile my narration with 1 of them turned sexual, I ended it with the others. 

All my interactions with them had been respectful, and if I’d had enactment with much than 1 of them, it would apt person been good considering however unfastened our connection was, but cutting things disconnected with the different 2 men enactment my caput astatine ease. 

Therein lies the lesson. You should ever bash what feels close to you.

Have you slept with aggregate radical successful 24 hours before?Comment Now

Therein lies the lesson. You should ever bash what feels close to you.

When I bespeak connected my clip sleeping with Steve and Freddie, I tin present spot that I person thing to beryllium ashamed of. During that constituent successful my life, my choices were wholly appropriate. In fact, had I not slept with them, I mightiness person regretted it! 

The full acquisition taught maine to ne'er fto anyone else’s opinions oregon society’s outdated views trump my ain feelings. 

That being said, if you are going to person enactment with aggregate lovers, determination are 3 things to support successful mind.

Firstly, you indispensable beryllium honorable with everyone involved. 

Secondly, enactment safe.

And finally, beware that you mightiness person mixed emotions astir your actions, similar I did. The champion proposal I tin springiness is to beryllium with your feelings for a while. 

Listen to yourself but soundlessness different voices if they popular up successful your head.

Remind yourself of this cardinal fact: You are the lone idiosyncratic who gets to determine however galore radical you slumber with successful 1 night, oregon during your lifetime.

*Names person been changed

Do you person a communicative you’d similar to share? Get successful interaction by emailing jess.austin@metro.co.uk. 

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