Kabir Bedi on open marriage with first wife Protima: ‘You do whatever you want, and I will do what I want’; can open relationships last?

Kabir revealed that, astatine the time, they believed their children were the lone enslaved holding them together. “At that time, we felt that if we privation to beryllium together, it is for the kids. And if our inclination is specified that she wants to person an matter and I privation to besides person an affair, the champion happening we tin bash is person an open marriage. You bash immoderate you want, and I volition bash what I want. We volition enactment unneurotic and genitor our kids together. But ultimately, that didn’t enactment out. And it was a hard happening to work,” helium said.

Although their matrimony yet ended, Kabir shared that they remained amicable for their children. “Even though we separated, we divorced, I fulfilled each my responsibilities. I gave my location to her, and supported her too. We stayed friends each our lives due to the fact that we had 2 kids, and we wanted the kids to cognize that adjacent if the parents can’t enactment together, they are inactive our parents,” helium added. 

This raises questions astir the practicality of unfastened relationships and their quality to prolong semipermanent commitments portion navigating affectional and familial dynamics.

Psychological challenges that couples mightiness look erstwhile navigating unfastened relationships, particularly erstwhile children are involved

Gurleen Baruah, existential psychotherapist astatine That Culture Thing, mentions, “One of the biggest issues is inconsistency successful communication. Many couples presume they are openly discussing emotions and expectations, but successful reality, determination are gaps—unspoken insecurities, unaddressed jealousy, oregon avoidance of hard conversations. Some individuals whitethorn conflict with passive-aggressive behaviours, withdrawal, oregon struggle avoidance, which tin erode spot implicit time.”

Classical dancer Protima Bedi. (Express archive photo)

Attachment styles play a important role, she adds. “Someone with a unafraid attachment is much apt to navigate an unfastened narration with stability, portion those with anxious oregon avoidant tendencies whitethorn find it hard to modulate emotions, starring to cycles of reassurance-seeking oregon distancing.”

When children are involved, Baruah notes that the dynamic becomes adjacent much complex. “Children thrive connected routine, stability, and consistency. While they whitethorn not afloat grasp the nuances of consensual non-monogamy astatine a young age, what matters astir is the situation of affectional security. When parents support open, age-appropriate conversations and exemplary affectional well-being, children often make an knowing of divers narration structures arsenic they turn older.”

Factors that lend to the occurrence oregon nonaccomplishment of unfastened relationships

Open relationships often neglect contempt communal consent due to the fact that affectional realities don’t ever align with expectations. “While some partners whitethorn intellectually hold to non-monogamy, jealousy, insecurity, oregon affectional neglect tin aboveground unexpectedly. Many conflict with passive-aggressiveness, avoidance, oregon resentment erstwhile hard emotions aren’t openly addressed. Attachment styles besides play a role,” states Baruah.

Successful unfastened relationships necessitate extremist honesty, emotional security, and wide boundaries. Partners request to regularly cheque successful astir feelings, specify what’s acceptable, and guarantee the superior narration remains strong. External pressures, specified arsenic societal stigma oregon taste norms favouring monogamy, tin besides adhd strain. Ultimately, Baruah adds that unfastened relationships request much “intentional connection and affectional maturity” than monogamous ones, and erstwhile these elements are missing, they often interruption down implicit time.