KSI opens up about devastating secret health battle and addresses YouTube future

KSI, the multi-millionaire YouTube sensation who went connected to apical the euphony charts and beforehand the Prime portion marque which became a children's craze, has revealed helium sees a therapist after helium became depressed contempt his immense success.

The antheral idolised by millions said contempt becoming 1 of the UK's astir palmy gamers and creators earning a reported £25m a year, helium started asking himself "Is this it?" - arsenic helium feared YouTube had go his life.

Now helium has opened up astir however helium decided to instrumentality a interruption from the platform, but it was inactive respective years earlier helium turned to therapy - aft antecedently believing it was a motion of weakness.

KSI, which stands for Knowledge, Strength, Integrity, said helium inactive continues to publication sessions whenever helium feels helium needs them, arsenic they person helped him scope a constituent wherever helium is present “so happy” with everything successful his life.

Revealing helium suffered a "sort of midlife crisis" – adjacent though helium was inactive successful his aboriginal 20s - helium said therapy made him realise a large origin of his problems stemmed from the unit his parents had enactment him nether to bash good successful life.

But helium said the therapy enabled him to recognize helium was ever trying to delight his parents and different people, and it helped him to spot his parents successful a antithetic airy – yet forging the adjacent loving enslaved helium present has with them.

His honesty astir his struggles is apt to astonishment galore of his millions of fans, who cognize him lone arsenic the antheral with the Midas interaction for immoderate tract helium tries - beryllium it societal media with his Sidemen YouTube buddies, his music, oregon the boxing, wherever helium became CEO of Misfits Boxing which pitted influencers against each different and saw him combat Tommy Fury and American YouTuber Logan Paul.

The figures archer the communicative of the standard of KSI’s wide-ranging achievements.

By October 2022, helium had notched up implicit 41 cardinal subscribers and implicit 10 cardinal video views crossed his 3 YouTube channels.

His debut workplace album, Dissimulation, was released successful 2020 and reached fig 2 connected the medium chart, portion his adjacent album, All Over the Place, went to fig one. He has besides clocked up 14 apical 40 singles.

Turning to concern and marketing, erstwhile alongside Logan Paul helium became the look of the Prime hydration portion brand, it became a must-have portion millions of children were hopeless to get their hands on.

As galore retailers hiked prices, parents were forking retired £10-£20 for bottles, specified was their tendency to delight their kids.

Born Olajide Olatunji, earlier taking the shortened sanction of “JJ” which helium uses alongside his change ego of KSI, helium admitted helium switches betwixt the 2 personas to suit antithetic parts of his life.

He said: “I consciousness similar KSI is rather draining. So radical spot KSI whenever I'm doing music, boxing.

“My 2nd YouTube transmission is called JJ Olatunji, and it's conscionable maine conscionable being me.

“You know, it's not similar I'm going brainsick each the time, but similar it's a batch much real, a batch much human, wherever radical tin really subordinate to it a batch much compared to however I was for illustration erstwhile I was warring Tommy Fury. I was determination similar ‘I americium the nightmare, KSI, similar no-one tin decision me’.

“KSI is successful your face.

“I'm blessed conscionable with my cats, with my girlfriend, with my family.”

But adjacent though helium tin abstracted the 2 identities, helium said helium had to larn to bask what helium does aft helium became a YouTube phenomenon.

He said: “Before I didn't. You know, you'd get depressed, you'd get sad. You wonderment ‘Do I privation to bash this?’ oregon ‘Why americium I doing this?’

“I've had a fewer times, I'd accidental 2017 was a clip wherever I had similar a six, 7 period interruption connected YouTube wherever I didn't post. I'd delete each my tweets, delete astir each my YouTube videos, delete each my Instagram photos.

“I was conscionable similar ‘I request to conscionable permission the internet’. I had similar a midlife crisis. I was similar ‘Is this it? Is this my life? Am I conscionable going to beryllium doing this for the remainder of my life?’

“This was earlier I was doing the euphony decently and this was earlier I was boxing.

“I was similar ‘nah, f**k this, I'm out’. I benignant of conscionable went connected holiday, travelled, enjoyed myself, tried to fig retired what I wanted to do.

“And I was similar ‘Alright, I benignant of privation to beryllium a feline that is capable to conscionable bash immoderate I privation and not beryllium stuck successful this lane of you're a YouTuber, you person to conscionable bash YouTube and that is it’.

“So I started doing music. The thought of a YouTuber being capable to get a fig 1 medium oregon a apical five, similar no-one could adjacent fathom it.

“And past I was similar ‘Ok, boxing’.”

Speaking connected the High-Performance podcast, erstwhile asked if the assortment had stopped him from feeling disillusioned, helium said: “Every present and then, it tin happen. I tin consciousness it's coming. And past I'd spell spot a therapist, speech it out, fig retired what I need.”

He said present the contented tin beryllium that he’s not keeping up his training, oregon not spending capable clip with his household and loved ones due to the fact that he’s moving excessively hard.

He said sometimes, 1 league with his therapist tin enactment him straight, portion different times, helium whitethorn transportation connected with the visits for a fewer months.

“It's not similar I spot a therapist each the time, each week,” helium said.

“It's similar whenever I consciousness thing is happening oregon I'm not successful a bully spot. Booking the session, enactment it each out. Sometimes it could instrumentality a fewer weeks, a fewer months - could instrumentality a week. Then I'm backmost to being maine again.”

But helium said it was astatine slightest 3 years aft helium started feeling down implicit what his aboriginal had successful store earlier helium archetypal went to the therapist.

Now aged 31, helium said: “In 2017, the thought of going to the therapist, I don't cognize - I felt weak, if that makes sense. So I didn't spot a therapist successful 2017. It was lone astir I deliberation 2020, 2021.

“Something arsenic elemental arsenic exercising tin marque specified a difference. But then, adjacent if that helps, it's not you cognize the existent solution. Maybe sometimes you request to spell into your past, fig retired what your trauma is, and onslaught it caput on.

“I consciousness similar a batch of radical get stuck successful the past oregon person this unfortunate mindset wherever (they go) ‘I'm successful this presumption due to the fact that of this person, oregon I'm successful this presumption due to the fact that of that person’, and they ne'er fto that go.

It was coming to presumption with his past traumas which has made him stronger, helium said.

Asked what he’d learned, helium said: “With me, you know, having African parents, it's a batch of unit - arsenic the archetypal born, unit to beryllium the best, to beryllium a doctor, lawyer, etc, unit to beryllium the breadwinner of the family, unit to conscionable bash good each the time.

“You get to a constituent wherever a batch of times I conscionable hatred life."

He added: “I’d beryllium similar ‘Ok, I'm saying yes to everything’. It was ever conscionable making definite I delight everyone. I'd ever privation to effort and delight my parents.

“But past I was ne'er making myself happy.

“But with the therapist I was capable to truly spot my parents successful a antithetic airy and spot it from their constituent of view.

“They were successful truthful overmuch debt, but they were blessed to enactment themselves successful that magnitude of indebtedness conscionable to effort and springiness america an opportunity, to effort and get america into backstage school.

“I retrieve erstwhile I failed my A levels, they mislaid their shit.

“Looking astatine it from their constituent of view, they conscionable enactment each this clip and effort into getting maine into this presumption - and for maine to conscionable flip it away.

“They were 1 of similar 9 kids, and their parents conscionable hardly gave a s**t. At slightest my parents gave a s**t.

“I utilized to ever person this similar mini hatred towards my parents. Now that's each gone, I perfectly emotion my parents.

“I think, for me, the mode to truly resoluteness everything is conscionable forgiveness.

“I conjecture if my parents were a antithetic mode possibly I wouldn’t beryllium successful this position. I’m blessed with everything that has happened successful my life, the ups and downs.

“I’m blessed with however my beingness has gone, I’m blessed my beingness wasn’t plain sailing.”

Asked by interviewer Jake Humphrey if the immense power helium has connected his followers is important to him, KSI revealed: “I've got ‘Legacy’ tattooed connected my back. And that is 1 of the astir important words for me.

“Because, you know, erstwhile I die, I privation to beryllium remembered – ‘you cognize what, I utilized to ticker him, and helium made maine laugh, possibly astatine times helium made maine cry, but f**k me, man, helium made a quality (to) similar however I felt, oregon however I thought, oregon conscionable maine successful general. He made maine judge successful myself’.”

However, his superior extremity successful beingness present is family-orientated.

Asked what helium inactive wants to do, helium said: "I privation to person kids. I privation to get married. I benignant of privation to conscionable unrecorded that life. I consciousness similar that's the adjacent measurement for me.

"I besides privation to merchandise an album. Also, I inactive privation to fight. I inactive privation to bash Sidemen videos, YouTube videos, et cetera. But l deliberation for maine personally. I deliberation having kids and matrimony and everything, I deliberation that's for maine the adjacent measurement and that's thing I truly privation to do."