Late-Night Hosts Take Aim at Trump’s Tariffs: ‘So Many Stupidly Bad Things’

President Donald Trump announced a series of tariffs over the weekend, resulting in a potential trade war between the U.S. and countries like China, Mexico, and Canada. Although several of the tariffs, including with Mexico, have been delayed, late-night TV hosts still had a lot to say on the matter.

On The Daily Show, Jon Stewart addressed the tariffs, opening his monologue with a news clip about the impending trade war, which could also include the EU.

“The EU? Canada? Do we have any friends?” Stewart responded. “I mean, Mexico, I get. Trump’s been hate-fucking Mexico pretty much since the escalator,” Stewart said, referencing Trump’s descent on the Trump Tower escalator before announcing his candidacy for president in 2015. “But Canada? Ca-nada? We’re picking a fight with our most reliable and pleasant friend? The labradoodle of allies?”

Stewart then reflected on Trump’s desire to take over the Panama Canal and Greenland using force. “Denmark, Panama, and Canada,” he sighed. “We’re America! We used to fight the Nazis. Now we’re scouring the globe for easy marks. What are we, the Jake Paul of nations? No offense. ‘I know China’s out there, but Panama’s a legitimate fight!’”

On Jimmy Kimmel Live, host Jimmy Kimmel discussed the situation as “the world’s dumbest trade war.” “Donald Trump has been president for two weeks as of today,” Kimmel noted. “All hell has broken loose in almost every possible way.”

Kimmel explained that Trump first issued the tariffs and then almost immediately un-issued them. “I guess he must have seen the guacamole bill for his Super Bowl party,” he quipped. “Why Trump is squeezing our closest allies no one knows.”

Stephen Colbert was similarly perplexed by Trump’s tariff obsession on The Late Show. “Donald Trump is doing so many stupidly bad things, so badly stupidly, that it’s difficult to keep up,” the host said. “Anyone who’s ever had a toddler knows this feeling. You leave the room for one second and when you come back everything from the bookshelves is on the floor, the walls are covered in Ketchup, and when you ask who gave the dog a haircut with safety scissors your kid says, ‘It was DEI.'”

Editor’s picks

He added, “It’s been two weeks and he’s already pissing off the neighbors: ‘Hi I just moved in next door, give me your Wi-Fi password or I’m going to poop on your dog.'”

On The Tonight Show, Jimmy Fallon noted, “People are wondering why Trump would start a war with our closest allies and he was like, ‘I didn’t say anything about Russia and North Korea.'” He added that as a New Yorker he knows better than to piss off his “upstairs and downstairs neighbors.”

Seth Meyers framed the situation slightly differently, suggesting that it was actually Trump who caved to Canada and Mexico by canceling the tariffs a day later. On his “A Closer Look” segment on Late Night, Meyers noted that Trump started the trade war for “no fucking reason whatsoever.”

He added, “No American wakes up saying, ‘Damn Canada, we should really go after Canada.’ I mean, except for Kendrick Lamar. That dude has it out for Canadian rap.”