My boyfriend says he’ll dump me if we don’t spend Christmas together

DEAR DEIDRE: MY fellow has fixed maine an ultimatum: either walk Christmas with him and perpetrate to our future, oregon abstracted for good. 

But my children deliberation he’s a narcissist and don’t privation thing to bash with him. I’m truthful torn.

I’m 52 and my fellow is 56. We’ve been unneurotic for a year.

I person 2 grown-up children, a lad and a girl, by my ex-husband, 54. 

My fellow is lovely, and makes maine blessed - but helium is precise jealous and ever wants to cognize wherever I am, and with whom.

He’s told maine helium wants to walk the full festive play with me. But I’m expected to beryllium spending it with my children. 

On Christmas Day, I’ve really been invited to their dad’s location for lunch. Although we’re divorced, we’re inactive amicable. 

My fellow said that if I go, we’re over. He says if I emotion him I’d privation to beryllium with him implicit Christmas. He besides wants america to marque our narration nationalist connected societal media.

He’s made it wide helium doesn’t privation maine to beryllium astir my ex.

Both my children hatred my boyfriend, saying he’s controlling and atrocious for me. There’s nary mode I tin invitation him.

What should I do?

DEIDRE SAYS: A antheral who loves you wouldn’t enactment unit connected you to get his ain way, oregon privation you to walk Christmas distant from your children.

If they don’t similar him, and he’s jealous, controlling and doesn’t spot you astir the begetter of your children, past this should rise reddish flags. 

He’s trying to emotionally blackmail you. Narcissistic men mostly don’t get better, lone worse. 

Tell him you are sticking to your Christmas plans and suggest a compromise. Maybe you could walk Boxing Day together. 

If helium doesn’t hold to it, past possibly it’s clip to locomotion distant for the involvement of your agelong word happiness. 

See my enactment battalion connected Dealing With Jealousy for much information.