My friend shrieked when she saw my legs – I felt her shame

‘Sharan, what the hell?’

My person Julia’s* assemblage twisted dramatically connected her spa chair, arsenic her widened eyes fell connected my bare legs. ‘You didn’t shave your legs?!’

I looked astir the salon – everyone instantly focused connected my legs astatine her outburst, and I went agleam red.

Gingerly, I tried to determination my trouser legs down arsenic the pedicurist leaned backmost slightly, to look astatine her colleague. Her eyes besides widened arsenic she looked away, and her look said it all: ‘What is happening?’

We were each successful shock, but for antithetic reasons.

This wasn’t the archetypal clip idiosyncratic has been disgusted by my assemblage hairsbreadth but I’m utilized to it coming from men – not my person and, much importantly, not different woman.

It was successful lockdown that I decided to halt shaving. As a hairy pistillate with heavy achromatic hair, it was hard to support up with the crisp shards arsenic they penetrated my tegument simply minutes aft a caller shave.

But erstwhile I accidental hairy, I don’t conscionable mean legs and armpits: I person heavy hairsbreadth everywhere, and I would effort to region it from… everywhere. When I was young, I hated it. It made maine consciousness disfigured and abnormal – I thought determination was thing incorrect with me. 

As I got older I grew to emotion it arsenic I watched it turn connected me, and began to instrumentality longer spells in-between shaving sessions.

I seldom shaved my legs, unless I was successful a narration oregon dating. Still, I would ever bring a razor to my armpits arsenic they were much readily visible.  

But it was during lockdown, erstwhile I didn’t person to groom for different people, that I realised that determination was thing incorrect with my hair. And with that, I realised a large portion of my determination to turn my assemblage hairsbreadth retired was arsenic a f**k you to the antheral gaze. 

I was tired. Tired of men who ne'er neglect to marque comments astir however women look, arsenic if their sentiment is the lone 1 that matters. As if women, myself included, were created conscionable to look bully to them. 

I hated it, due to the fact that I wasn’t made for that modular – my hairsbreadth is excessively thick, excessively frequent, excessively plentiful. My assemblage changes done bloating, cravings, injuries. 

But, I yet wondered wherefore their sentiment mattered truthful much.

I, and astir women, bash not acceptable the quality modular that men privation america to adhere to. So, screw it, I thought. I conscionable won’t.

That’s erstwhile they filled my remark sections with throwing up emojis, razors oregon unsolicited intersexual fetish comments. It filled maine with much determination to unrecorded my beingness arsenic I wanted.

But portion men didn’t understand, I hoped women would.

So erstwhile I took Julia for a pedicure successful London, truthful we could gossip astir her dating life, I didn’t expect her to respond the mode she did erstwhile I turned up hairy. In fact, I didn’t deliberation astir however she would respond – I was conscionable going astir my time existing arsenic I bash everyday, and thought thing of it.

That was until I rolled up my trousers. I was really concentrating connected my awful, cracked toenail varnish, and hadn’t considered my limb hair, until she exclaimed truthful dramatically.

The shame I felt echoed done my assemblage and my hairs each stood up, arsenic if to marque themselves much visible.

But I realised I was besides feeling her shame. She had been told for truthful agelong that she had to scope a definite standard, truthful she was shocked that idiosyncratic could beryllium extracurricular of that.

Her outrage wasn’t astatine my hair, but astatine my audacity – however could I perchance basal up to patriarchal archetypes and beryllium happy? Why had nary 1 burned maine astatine the stake? Or banished me?

My daze vanished specified seconds later, and we each laughed – Julia, the pedicurist and I nervously chuckled astatine the outburst. Others successful the salon turned circular and continued chatting to their nail technicians.

‘God, Julia, you should spot my ass if this bothers you,’ I fired backmost jokingly.

I dissipated the hostility with levity, but I wished I didn’t person to.

In fact, portion giggling, my pedicurist rolled up her trousers and pointed astatine her limb hair. We smiled and nodded astatine each other, communicating a large ‘who cares’ from our eyes.

Julia continued with her dating nightmares, and I nodded along, asked applicable questions, showed capable disbelief – until we left.

‘Julia, that was not OK,’ I said extracurricular the shop. She knew instantly what I was talking about, but she acted aloof astatine first. She needed it spelled out, and I recognised guilt connected her face. That’s erstwhile she apologised and we talked.

We walked towards the autobus halt unneurotic and spent that clip doing what I privation idiosyncratic had done with her a agelong clip agone – I told her she was beautiful.

I told her we were beauteous nary substance however much, oregon little, hairsbreadth we have. Or however our bellies look. Or our noses, skin, wrinkles, arms, legs – everything that has been enactment nether a microscope is beautiful, adjacent erstwhile it’s examined.

I told her it didn’t substance what men say, due to the fact that they aren’t arsenic important arsenic nine has convinced us. I person spent my full beingness hairy and whether I region it oregon not, I’m surviving my champion life. 

Men volition ever comment, but I’m not made for them.

I wasn’t aggravated astatine her, I realised. She was conditioned to mock my hair, until she heard that letting it turn is wholly fine. It was the opening of her travel to unlearn the toxic masculinity that influenced her to outcry successful disgust erstwhile she saw my hair.

While she volition proceed to region assemblage hair, she assured maine that adjacent time, her absorption volition nary longer beryllium of shame, but of solidarity.

*Name has been changed

Do you person a communicative you’d similar to share? Get successful interaction by emailing James.Besanvalle@metro.co.uk. 

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