My husband lied about his hardcore porn habit and it’s ruining our sex life

DEAR DEIDRE: MY hubby lied astir watching hardcore porn and present it’s ruining our enactment life. 

Whenever we effort to beryllium intimate, I spot the images helium viewed successful my head, and it makes maine consciousness sick. 

I’m 52 and he’s 54. We’ve been joined for 25 years and person 2 grown-up children.

He ever denied helium liked watching porn, adjacent accusing maine of paranoia, but I ne'er believed him.

Then I changed the settings connected our laptop, and managed to presumption his history.

He’d been watching awful, perverted films, which impact hurting people, each time for years. I was horrified, and felt betrayed.

When I confronted him with my evidence, helium begged for forgiveness. He said helium couldn’t assistance himself and hid his occupation due to the fact that helium felt truthful ashamed. 

He’s promised he’s stopped, and I deliberation I judge him. I cognize helium does emotion me.

We’re trying to rebuild our marriage, but I can’t hide what I saw.

Every clip we commencement having sex, I retrieve what helium liked watching - and what helium would truly similar to bash - and I person to stop.

Please help.

DEIDRE SAYS: Pornography tin beryllium highly addictive and is designed to marque viewers ticker highly hardcore material.

Your hubby whitethorn request assistance to discontinue his porn habit. Encourage him to look astatine the Pivotal Recovery Programme  (pivotalrecovery.org), a betterment programme. 

My enactment pack, Upset By Pornography, should assistance you both.

It volition instrumentality clip to rebuild trust. If intimacy continues to beryllium a problem, enactment and narration counselling could help. COSRT (cosrt.org.uk) tin assistance link you to a reputable therapist.