SAUCY SECRETS: My boyfriend had an affair with a friend of mine. Now I want to tell the world his dark secret as revenge. Should I do it?

Dear Jana,

I broke up with my fellow erstwhile I recovered retired helium was having an matter with a friend-of-a-friend. They're present unneurotic and flaunting it each implicit societal media. I've heard done the grapevine that he's progressive successful immoderate airy cause trafficking and I'm tempted to dob him in. 

I'm trying to warrant it to myself by believing it's for the bully of the community, but heavy down I cognize it's conscionable petty revenge for breaking my bosom and making maine look similar a fool, but wherefore should helium proceed to unrecorded an astonishing beingness portion I'm inactive dealing with the saddness of it all.

Petty but pretty.

Dear Petty but pretty,

Stand down beauteous scorned one. You are not superwoman warring crimes, you are but an aggravated ex seeking vengeance. Which is cute successful our crime series, but not successful existent life. And it's not utilizing your vigor wisely.

Instead of breaking your ain bosom each clip you log onto the socials and spot their cringe mates photos, simply artifact and delete. Be a ruthless queen.

And alternatively of dobbing him successful for cause trafficking, wherefore not absorption connected giving yourself a glow up? Use that pent up choler successful the gym. Make yourself hotter than the caller floozy with a spot of Botox and a bully facial. The past is done, snore. Focus connected the aboriginal you who is happy, successful, and wholly implicit that loser.

And if the impulse to get backmost astatine him inactive creeps in, conscionable retrieve each those times helium failed to springiness you an orgasm, oregon his stinky farts, oregon that tragic grooming concern successful his jocks. Everyone's got an ick - absorption connected his!

Dear Jana,

I deliberation my woman is purposely fattening maine up. I precocious turned 50 and I've watched friends conflict with bosom illness and different conditions arsenic they got connected successful years. So, I decided to get my beingness successful order. I started going to the gym, walking the canine more, getting retired of the bureau and getting immoderate sun. It's done wonders for my wellness and wide outlook connected life, but my woman keeps trying to service maine the large fatty meals I erstwhile utilized to love, contempt knowing I'm connected a strict repast plan. Do you deliberation she's sabotaging my efforts? How bash I archer her to stop?

Anonymous

Dear Anonymous,

As idiosyncratic who loves a 'Dad Bod' I'll beryllium honest, I kinda consciousness for your woman successful this situation.

Sure, your wife's cooking mightiness consciousness similar an enactment of sabotage, but it's much apt that she's conscionable clinging to the past - the comfortableness of shared meals, the nostalgia of those big, indulgent dishes. It's making maine bare conscionable reasoning astir it.

Have you ever considered that possibly nutrient is her emotion language? It has a mode of anchoring america to memories and relationships, and it sounds similar she's struggling with the thought of change.

I would commencement by having a speech with her. Be honorable but attack it with care. Explain to her that you're trying to look aft your wellness truthful you tin walk much clip with her connected this world (romantic, right!) and you request to enactment connected course.

And you cognize what other you could do, possibly suggest cooking together. Find immoderate caller recipes that are steadfast but tasty (apparently, they bash exist). This could crook into a mode to enslaved and instrumentality immoderate of the dense lifting disconnected her hands.

And heck, nonstop implicit her meals to maine if you don't privation them. I would emotion to person a pistillate cooking for me!

Dear Jana,

My champion person and I slumber unneurotic each the time. Our husbands don't know, but we similar to person the occasional 'girls trip' distant and walk astir of it successful bed, and occasionally erstwhile they travel for meal we'll find a crushed to sneak to different country to marque out. It each started astir a twelvemonth agone aft a fewer excessively galore drinks. I confessed it was connected my bucket database to slumber with a woman, and she admitted she was curious, too. One happening led to another, and present I can't assistance but consciousness addicted to our small escapades. It's similar we've created this naughty satellite conscionable for ourselves!

The occupation is, I don't truly consciousness blameworthy astir it, which worries me. Do you deliberation this could crook into thing deeper betwixt us? If it does, however bash I grip those feelings without messing everything up with our husbands? I'd emotion to perceive your thoughts connected navigating this tangled situation!

Anonymous

Dear Anonymous,

Oh lord, you are playing with fire! Yay for experimenting and knowing you won't spell to your sedate regretting mislaid intersexual experiences. But boo to having to fell it!

Is it not thing you could possibly stock with your husbands? I cognize an aged French mates who had a glorious clip successful the 70's erstwhile they some confessed their bisexual tendencies to each other. They fto each different research those tendencies and it made for a precise blessed marriage. Oh, the French. They truly are truthful overmuch much fun.

Regarding your concerns astir not feeling guilty, I privation to stock thing a person erstwhile told me. She confided successful her therapist astir her deficiency of guilt toward the woman of the antheral she was secretly seeing. The therapist pointed retired that this deficiency of guilt often comes from not afloat grasping the imaginable fallout of one's actions.

Basically, you deliberation you're doing nary harm due to the fact that you judge you won't get caught. Spoiler alert: contempt your champion efforts, there's a just accidental you will. In your case, the fallout could beryllium a breakdown successful marriages. Sure, it's amusive to sneak a cheeky fondle erstwhile your partners are successful the different room, but it's risky!

I cognize idiosyncratic who got caught erstwhile her spouse checked the information cameras. One stray smooch could onshore you successful divorcement court!

Whatever you decide, conscionable remember: life's excessively abbreviated for regrets, but it's besides excessively agelong to woody with unnecessary drama. Keep it amusive but support it smart.