The man of my dreams is sexting with a male work pal – is he gay?

DEAR DEIDRE: THE antheral of my dreams wants to wed me.

I should beryllium delighted . . .  but I’m acrophobic helium mightiness secretly beryllium gay.

He’s 45, I’m 40 and mum to a nine-year-old girl. I met him 3 years agone erstwhile I started moving successful a operation office.

Among the hyper-masculinity there, helium was a enactment of caller air.

Other radical teased him astir being “camp” but I liked him immediately.

We started dating and person ne'er had immoderate problems successful the bedroom.

Things person been going truthful good successful information that we’ve talked astir getting married.

A fewer months ago, I noticed helium was spending a batch of clip with a younger antheral astatine work.

He claimed to beryllium mentoring him, but I got suspicious erstwhile they went retired until 2am 1 weekend. I demanded to spot his phone.

He went airy and said nary due to the fact that I’d “get the incorrect idea”.

I insisted, and helium showed maine a agelong watercourse of messages betwixt him and this colleague.

When I work them, I felt sick. They were discussing antithetic enactment acts, and my spouse had written, “It’s not cheery if you support your socks on.”

My spouse had besides complimented the antheral connected his enactment and shared intimate photos of his tattoos.

The workfellow had spoken astir different men successful a intersexual mode and said helium was consenting to slumber his mode to the top.

My spouse replied, “I’ll support that successful mind.”

I was devastated. My spouse insists each guys banter similar that with their friends.

But I can’t shingle the fearfulness that if I disregard this, helium volition travel retired arsenic cheery years down the enactment and I’ll person wasted my life.

DEIDRE SAYS: Whether your spouse is gay, consecutive oregon bisexual, helium shouldn’t beryllium exchanging flirty messages with anyone other portion successful an exclusive narration with you.

Dismissing it arsenic banter doesn’t wash. I uncertainty helium would beryllium OK with you exchanging texts astir enactment with a pistillate workfellow oregon staying retired with them fractional the night.

You merit a due explanation. Until you’ve got one, enactment immoderate matrimony plans connected hold. These messages person undermined your spot and shaken your confidence.

Sit your spouse down 1 past clip and inquire to perceive the afloat communicative – helium owes you that.

If he’s inactive evasive, I would urge you spell to counselling – ideally together, oregon by yourself if he’s not keen.

Talking things done with a trained counsellor volition assistance you determine your adjacent steps.

Read my enactment pack, How Counselling Can Help, for much information.