Boris is back! And he’s still a blathering, chaotic, lying buffoon – who’s proved again this week what a coward he is

“DO you deliberation this state would ever elite a buffoon arsenic Prime Minister?”, I erstwhile asked Boris Johnson, galore years earlier helium ran for the highest bureau successful the land.

“Have I over-buffooned it?” helium ­chuckled. “It’s precise hard to beryllium both, I agree.”

“I don’t truly bargain into this buffoon thing,” I replied. “I deliberation you play it each up to marque wealth and charm the public, erstwhile underneath lurks a calculating, ambitious and precise superior brain.”

“That’s precise benignant of you, Piers,” Boris responded, “but you indispensable see the anticipation that underneath it each determination truly whitethorn lurk a genuine buffoon, and that whitethorn beryllium wherefore I americium yet prohibited from getting precise overmuch higher due to the fact that it whitethorn beryllium the intelligence effort needed to haul myself into a much serious, gaffe-free portion proves excessively difficult.”

Watch Piers' explosive interviews connected his Uncensored YouTube channel here

Incredibly, contempt ne'er hauling himself into a gaffe-free zone, Britain’s biggest buffoon did so go Prime Minister. And,  far much predictably, it was a full disaster, culmin­ating successful him resigning successful disgrace aft breaking his ain rules and lying to Parliament astir it.

I assumed, oregon should I accidental hoped, that would beryllium the past we saw of the unkempt, blathering, fork-tongued, shambolic parody of a quality being successful nationalist life.

But I should person known that specified shamelessness knows nary bounds.

Boris is present back, with a publication called Unleashed, which is an ironic rubric fixed that astir of america would precise overmuch similar him to stay tightly leashed, and preferably muzzled too.

Unsurprisingly, the publication is simply a cleanable reflection of his clip arsenic Prime Minister — a disingenuous, self-aggrandising, lazy load of aged tosh.

It glosses implicit his galore failings, pumps up his fewer successes, and is intelligibly designed to beryllium a level for him to marque a glorious comeback similar his leader Sir Winston Churchill.

But Boris is nary Churchill.

In fact, he’s much similar Churchill the dopey, hairy bulldog from the security adverts who says yes to virtually everything he’s asked.

Boris has done that passim his scandalous nonrecreational and idiosyncratic beingness — without a thought oregon attraction for the consequences, oregon for keeping his word.

And arsenic helium has been doing the media rounds for his book, his interviews person simply served to punctual the satellite what a dishevelled, chaotic, dissembling shifty-eyed buffoon helium truly is.

He smirks, helium japes, helium ducks, helium dives, helium spews agelong words oregon Latin phrases hoping cipher knows what immoderate of it means, helium tells endless brazen fibs, and helium desperately tries to debar idiosyncratic accountability for anything.

Boris erstwhile infamously ran into a large fridge to debar being interviewed by maine and Susanna Reid connected Good Morning Britain, aft promising to bash so.

‘You large girl’s blouse.’

He devotes a whole, typically hyperbolic, leafage of his publication to the incident, saying: “We were surrounded similar Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid astatine the extremity of the movie, the cameras of the nation’s meal TV shows were trained connected our fridge, similar the rifles of the Bolivian army.

“We emerged from our refrigerated refuge amid nationalist derision, and an incontinent Piers Morgan denounced maine arsenic a coward and a fridge hider.”

Yes, I did, Boris — due to the fact that you were a coward who hid successful a fridge alternatively than honour your promise.

And nothing’s changed.

On Wednesday, immoderate of my Piers Morgan Uncensored squad jumped Boris arsenic helium arrived successful our gathering to bash an interrogation with Times Radio.

They asked him if helium would bash an interrogation with maine too.

He was excessively engaged — obviously!

They past asked if helium wanted to grounds a video connection for maine instead.

He did.

“Piers, wherefore bash you ne'er fto maine travel connected your show?” helium chortled.

“You large girl’s blouse!”

Of course, arsenic helium good knows, I’ve asked him galore times to travel connected my show, and he’s ever taken the fridge-equivalent enactment instead.

So, adjacent erstwhile he’s talking astir interrogation requests, Boris can’t assistance lying.

Don’t get maine incorrect — I emotion a bully comeback.

When Thierry Henry returned to play for Arsenal 5 years aft leaving, and scored the winning extremity against Leeds, it was magical.

But a instrumentality by Boris Johnson to No10 Downing Street would consciousness similar the benignant of magic I had to endure arsenic a Britain’s Got Talent justice erstwhile the hapless auditionee’s tricks each went wrong.

It’s a precise steadfast “NO” from me . . . 

END OF MERRY DANCE

TWO months ago, I wrote a file hammering the Strictly snowflakes led by Amanda “PTSD” Abbington, who’ve been moaning astir the beastly mode the show’s professionals tried to crook their clod-footed amateur gyrations into thing vaguely resembling dancing.

This triggered a lengthy connection from Ms Abbington denying she’s a man-hating troll, insisting she adores men, and conscionable “hates bullies”.

Since then, a BBC study concluded she’d endured a spot of saucy “inappropriate” banter from Giovanni Pernice, and her much superior claims were rejected.

The probe besides recovered she excessively engaged successful inappropriate banter.

Sadly, nary of this has stopped Ms Abbington from absurdly continuing to  portray herself arsenic a modern-day Joan of Arc.

She adjacent told Newsnight she was relieved to get a crab scare due to the fact that it meant she could permission the amusement and flight Pernice’s supposedly evil clutches.

At this point, I realised there’s nary extent the attention-seeking narcissist won’t plunge to successful pursuit of self-pity.

It’s clip to disregard her.

WHO DARES LOSES

HOW shameful that the SAS, which has truthful courageously faced galore unsafe enemies, is present facing an existential menace from quality rights lawyers.

My spleen tangibly inflamed erstwhile I learned that it’s go astir intolerable for the world’s astir elite warring unit to legally prosecute terrorists these days, and that galore veterans of the regiment are being hounded with historical vexatious lawsuits aft risking their lives to support america safe.

They’ve gone from their well-earned motto of Who Dares Wins to the risibly ill-deserved reality: Who Dares Loses.  It’s a sickening betrayal of our SAS heroes, past and present, and it indispensable stop.

MARISA'S TOP JOB ON INDUSTRY

I JUST binge-watched the caller 3rd bid of the superb BBC banking play Industry, and it was adjacent amended than the archetypal two.
The acting’s large – particularly by Marisa Abela and caller addition, Game Of Thrones prima Kit Harington – and the enactment gripping.

But it’s the show’s refusal to picture beingness arsenic thing but complicated, unpredictable and morally challenging that astir appeals to me. I won’t spoil the ending, but it’s a existent jaw-dropping shocker, and aft my archetypal fearfulness and outrage, makes cleanable sense.

SNOW WHITE WOKE

RACHEL ZEGLER, the stupendously woke Latina prima of Disney’s caller mentation of Snow White, insists it’s OK for her to play the portion due to the fact that the character’s sanction is not based connected her tegument colour but connected her resilience.

This is contempt the archetypal Grimm Brothers fairytale saying the princess had “skin arsenic achromatic arsenic snow”.

I wonderment what Ms Zegler would person said if Daniel Craig had been formed arsenic the pb relation successful Black Panther and explained that the character’s sanction wasn’t successful information based connected his tegument colour, arsenic written successful the archetypal cartoon series, but his resilience?

DON'T STOP ME NOW

A NEW survey by crab foundation Marie Curie revealed the songs we seemingly astir privation to perceive to arsenic we dice and included predictable choices specified arsenic Sinatra’s My Way and The Best by Tina Turner.
But I’d similar to spell retired to Queen’s Don’t Stop Me Now – “I’m having specified a bully time.”

Because, dissimilar truthful galore whiny, miserable spoiled- brat celebrities who perpetually moan astir their atrocious lives and however unhappy they are, I perfectly emotion my life, and if I keeled implicit tomorrow, would person zero regrets astir immoderate of it.

As Bob Marley said: “Love the beingness you live. Live the beingness you love.”

HYPOCRITES

MINISTERS successful the caller Labour authorities look to beryllium successful a contention to spot which is the biggest hypocrite.

Latest entrant is Education Secretary Bridget Phillipson, who declared that backstage schools don’t request astro pitches for sport, hours aft playing hockey connected 1 herself.

If there’s 1 happening worse than a hypocrite, it’s a champagne socialist hypocrite preaching the authorities of envy portion privately filling their boots – oregon successful Ms Phillipson’s lawsuit playing hockey successful them – with the precise aforesaid privilege they profess to despise.