I know my prisoner ex is bad news but I can’t stop thinking about him – I’m obsessed

DEAR DEIDRE: ALTHOUGH I cognize my captive ex is atrocious news, I can’t halt reasoning astir him.

I’m obsessed, and would bash thing to get him back, adjacent though helium treated maine severely and wounded me.

I’m 40 and he’s 48. I started penning to him successful prison during the lockdowns, erstwhile I was lonely aft the break-up of my marriage.

He was truthful comic and absorbing that I rapidly fell for him.

Then I started visiting him, and our clip unneurotic was magical.

I don’t cognize precisely what helium did, but it indispensable person been atrocious due to the fact that he’s a lifer – he’s already done 15 years successful jail.

I told him I would hold for him to beryllium released, truthful we could beryllium unneurotic properly. I said helium could determination successful with me.

But our relationship grew toxic. He became precise jealous and paranoid.

Then I recovered retired helium was penning to different women and we split.

I was devastated.

One nighttime I went retired with immoderate friends and ended up having a one-night basal with a antheral I met successful a bar.

I missed my ex and started penning again.

He kept asking maine if determination was anyone other portion we were apart.

Eventually, I confessed.

I thought he’d recognize but helium dumped maine and called maine a whore.

It’s been six months and I inactive outcry myself to sleep.

Why bash I miss him truthful much?

DEIDRE SAYS: You miss him for the aforesaid crushed you fell for him successful the archetypal spot – you dependable lonely and dissatisfied with your life.

Perhaps penning to a captive felt thrilling and, ironically, “safer” than a narration with idiosyncratic outside, due to the fact that you weren’t capable to beryllium unneurotic fully.

But it turned toxic.

Rationally, you cognize you’re amended disconnected without him. But emotionally, you’re inactive stuck.

My enactment pack, Addictive Love, volition assistance you to recognize your obsession with him.

Another enactment pack, Raising Self-Esteem, could besides help.

Talk to a counsellor astir your feelings truthful that you tin get past this and determination forward.