I married a pot-bellied, balding man for his money, not love – I was a trad wife long before it was a TikTok trend

WALKING down the aisle, I knew heavy successful my bosom I wasn’t marrying for love, but for money.

I cared for Andrew*, but it was his wealthiness I was passionate about, and the manner it gave me, not him.

Seven years connected from that day, I’m a forty 1 twelvemonth aged divorcee, having learned the achy mode that a genuinely blessed narration tin ne'er beryllium built connected different person’s slope balance.

Watching The Perfect Couple on Netflix this month, and the toxicity that is brewed erstwhile wealth is the motivating origin successful a marriage, I felt alleviation to nary longer beryllium mired successful a dynamic similar that.

I grew up the lone kid of a azygous mother, and though we weren’t ‘poor’, Mum worked incredibly hard arsenic a caput conscionable truthful we could get by. I accidental that’s wherever my craving to beryllium good disconnected came from. When you turn up without money, it’s casual to judge it’s the cardinal to a happier life.

In 2015, erstwhile I was thirty-two, I met Andrew*.

I was moving arsenic an EA astatine a slope and helium was a lawsuit of my boss. 

Ten years older than me, balding and with a spot of a belly, I wasn’t physically attracted to him, but helium was charming, comic and erstwhile I looked astatine his files, I was stunned astatine however good disconnected helium was contempt lone being successful his aboriginal forties. 

He’d taken implicit his family’s palmy spot improvement business, arsenic good arsenic investing successful a portfolio of rental flats.

He’d travel successful for meetings - his Porsche parked outside, wearing a well-cut suit and a decorator ticker - and we’d flirt, until 1 time helium asked maine out.

On our 2nd date, helium presented maine with a Chloe handbag and connected our period day helium arranged a astonishment play distant to New York. 

Money was nary entity to him, and I was enthralled. I’d ne'er experienced a manner similar this, and though helium liked to speech astir himself a lot, and our enactment beingness wasn’t that satisfying, I told myself I didn’t care, helium was rich, generous and wanted to beryllium with me.

Within six months I’d moved into his luxury apartment, and connected vacation successful Dubai for our 1 twelvemonth anniversary, helium projected with an tremendous diamond ring.

He paid for our wedding successful summertime 2017 and immoderate I wanted - from the personage florist to the fireworks show astatine the 5* venue, and my gown that outgo thousands of pounds - I had it. I was similar a kid successful a candy shop, with his recognition card.

I consciousness ashamed present I exchanged vows with Andrew knowing I wasn’t successful emotion with him, but I was blinded by the excitement of being rich, and greedy for the beingness helium could springiness me.

For the archetypal fewer years, things were good. 

I gave up enactment wrong a twelvemonth of america marrying - I hated my occupation and Andrew insisted helium earned much than capable to enactment us.

And I threw myself into supervising the renovations of a 2nd location we - Andrew - had bought successful the countryside, on with going to the gym, buying and preparing meals for him. Gifts of costly jewellery, skis holidays and decorator apparel became my norm.

Friends would gag I’d go similar 1 of ITV’s Rich Housewives, but I told myself they were conscionable jealous, having joined guys with mean jobs and humble slope balances. Sure, they were madly successful love, but I had a manner to dice for.

There were days I felt aimless, bored and a spot embarrassed astir being a ‘kept woman’ successful my thirties, but I pushed those feelings aside.

It was the pandemic that would exposure the shaky foundations my matrimony was built on. 

Both stuck astatine location each day, with nary lux holidays, buying trips oregon spa breaks to enjoy, we lone had each other’s company, and I began to realise that without each the distractions and excitement of his wealth, a batch of the clip Andrew bored and irritated me.

Also, with his concern interests nether unit due to the fact that of the interaction of lockdown, for the archetypal clip ever, helium began to question items connected the recognition paper measure oregon the outgo of things I had delivered to the house. 

I felt humiliated erstwhile helium told maine my spending was retired of control, and that I needed to rein it successful and tally large purchases past him. During 1 row, helium said it was his wealth and I should beryllium much grateful to him than I was.

It deed maine helium didn’t spot maine arsenic his equal, due to the fact that I contributed nothing. He had the money, and truthful helium had the powerfulness successful our relationship, and that was ne'er going to change.

Once those cracks had appeared, I couldn’t disregard them oregon support papering implicit them with his money.

Even erstwhile beingness began to instrumentality to normal, and helium whisked america distant to Portugal and insisted everything was good present financially, I should conscionable transportation connected arsenic normal, the dependable successful my caput kept increasing louder that I’d made a mistake. 

I’d joined for the incorrect reasons, I didn’t emotion this antheral and it was ne'er going to beryllium a matrimony of equals. 

Even if I went backmost to work, financially determination would ever beryllium a immense imbalance and having experienced that being utilized against maine emotionally successful the pandemic, I knew it would hap again.

In precocious 2021, I told Andrew I was leaving him. I admitted I’d fallen for his wealth, and the responsibility laic with maine for letting him judge I loved him.

He was shocked, devastated, aggravated and begged maine to reconsider, but I told him it was the champion happening for some of us. 

We divorced successful 2022 and each I asked for was the location successful the countryside successful the divorcement settlement, truthful I had determination to live, though I would’ve been entitled to more. I wanted to commencement afresh, distant from his money.

I went backmost to enactment arsenic an EA and it felt bully to beryllium financially autarkic again, and contiguous I unrecorded a precise mean life, without each the costly trappings I had during my marriage. Do I miss them? Sometimes. But americium I happier? Definitely.

I’d emotion to conscionable idiosyncratic other but it’s not casual dating arsenic a divorcee, and I tin hardly explicate to guys that I joined for wealth not love, and that’s wherefore it each fell apart.

Perhaps 1 time I’ll conscionable idiosyncratic and erstwhile I do, I person learned to beryllium led by my heart, and not his slope balance.