I put extreme pressure on myself to breastfeed – it almost killed me

Lying propped up connected pillows, I spot backmost cries of agony arsenic my electrical bosom pump squeezed beverage retired of my boobs.

Nothing astir this was normal. The symptom was worse than labour and doctors had already given maine morphine to help. 

I’d also never felt truthful unwell. My somesthesia was sky-high, my thorax was covered successful a agleam reddish rash and I was confused. Frankly I felt similar I was dying.

What’s more, the beverage flowing down the tubes into the vessel was agleam yellow, the colour of Lucozade.

I didn’t realise astatine the time but I was warring for my beingness against an unwellness that takes the lives of 48,000 radical successful the UK each twelvemonth – sepsis.

Two weeks earlier, successful January 2022, I’d fixed commencement to my baby, Rex. 

I’d had a hard labour complete with an episiotomy – wherever a cut is made successful the country betwixt the vagina and anus to help get the babe retired – but it had been worthy it to spot my beauteous 9lb bundle with his dusting of acheronian hair.

Prior to his birth, I hadn’t been acceptable connected breastfeeding but now helium was here I wanted to springiness it a go, truthful I started trying straight away.

At first, Rex latched connected well, but the adjacent time it became truly painful, my nipples were chapped and bleeding. Still I battled done the pain.

Back location successful Somerset, feeding became the absorption for my hubby Louis, past 34, and I – particularly erstwhile a midwife said she was disquieted Rex was losing excessively overmuch weight.

So when I was told to apical up my feeding with look beverage and to pump bosom beverage each 2 hours, I did so.

When I was advised to discard my nipple shields due to the fact that it was affecting the flow, I got rid and persevered adjacent though the symptom was aggravated – similar being stabbed successful the nipples with knitting needles – for a week.

None of this was what I’d imagined for my beingness arsenic a caller mum. I thought I’d beryllium cuddling Rex and watching container sets, alternatively I was holed up successful bed, perpetually pumping beverage with tears rolling down my face.

Like truthful galore caller mums, I was vulnerable. My assemblage was battered from labour and the work of keeping my precious babe live weighed heavy.

A fewer times, seeing however overmuch symptom I was in, Louis mildly suggested we switch to formula, but I felt unit to support pumping. I wanted to bash everything ‘right’ and I thought that meant breastfeeding.

When Rex was 10 days old though, I woke up with a raging temperature, musculus aches and a fever. My boobs were agleam reddish and blistery to touch.

A travel to the birthing centre and a telephone with a breastfeeding counsellor suggested I had mastitis – erstwhile your bosom becomes inflamed – often caused by a build-up of milk. I was prescribed antibiotics, told to massage my boobs and encouraged to proceed pumping arsenic it tin assistance wide the blockage.

Two days later, the rash had dispersed crossed my full thorax and nether my armpits and was truthful sore that I couldn’t adjacent clasp Rex. 

This time I was admitted to hospital and it was determination that I pumped the unusual yellowish milk.

When I showed my caregiver the practically luminous liquid, her eyes widened. She promised to assistance me.

I was hooked up to IV antibiotics and sent for an ultrasound shortly after and I yet stopped pumping. Yet I inactive didn’t cognize what was wrong.

However, my husband’s sister is simply a healthcare nonrecreational and she told him the antibiotics I was connected were usually utilized for sepsis.

While I’d heard of it before, I didn’t truly cognize what it was. I aboriginal recovered retired that sepsis occurs when your assemblage has an utmost inflammatory effect to an corruption – which tin beryllium thing from a chopped connected your digit to a microorganism oregon information similar pneumonia – and tin origin your organs to unopen down.

In my case, the corruption could person been from the cuts connected my nipples oregon from cellulitis – a tegument corruption doctors recovered I had – and each arsenic a result of breastfeeding.

At the time, I was truthful unwell I couldn’t digest a diagnosis but with clip I’ve realised conscionable however scary that is.

Statistically, pregnant women and caller mums look a higher hazard of getting sepsis owed to the request for procedures oregon country and people occurring immunological changes. Not erstwhile during my gestation was I ever told this.

As a result, something arsenic earthy arsenic breastfeeding astir killed me.

While I americium fortunate successful 1 consciousness – the antibiotics worked and I was backmost location a week aboriginal – I’ve been traumatised by the experience. I had flashbacks for a agelong time, which made maine excessively frightened to adjacent my eyes and caused insomnia. I was eventually diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and had counselling to help.

But I besides took it upon myself to larn much astir sepsis, which is however I came crossed the UK Sepsis Trust – a foundation offering enactment to those affected by sepsis and campaigning for amended awareness.

Through their website I learned that astir a 4th of a cardinal radical successful the UK get sepsis and that much radical dice from it than from prostate, bowel and bosom crab enactment together. 

As I’ve experienced archetypal hand, treating sepsis aboriginal with antibiotics is vital but we tin lone bash that if we cognize the signs. Shockingly though, caller figures uncover that only a third of the nationalist would feel confident knowing if they oregon idiosyncratic other had the symptoms of sepsis – things similar discoloured oregon mottled skin, musculus pain, confusion, oregon trouble passing urine – are, and this worryingly includes doctors and nurses.

But I privation that to change.

I privation every person to beryllium alert of the signs and I privation every new mum retired determination to cognize the hazard of sepsis done leaflets oregon pre-parenting classes. 

I besides privation them to cognize that they shouldn’t consciousness pressured to breastfeed particularly if it’s causing immense symptom – fed is best.

Rex is two-and a fractional present and a cheeky boy, happiest playing with his cars oregon watching Toy Story. I’m alert that due to the fact that of sepsis, helium could person grown up without a mum. It’s my ngo present to halt different radical going done what we have.

As told to Catherine Jones

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