Katyayani Sanjay Bhatia writes: Dear Laapataa Ladies…

You whitethorn not cognize me, but I cognize you. So galore of america successful the state cognize you. And now, adjacent much radical volition cognize you. Congratulations connected being selected arsenic India’s authoritative submission to the Oscars.

I got to cognize of your stories a fewer months ago, erstwhile I watched your movie, Laapataa Ladies. When I archetypal work your movie’s title, I translated the rubric arsenic ‘Missing Women’. I was instantly transported to the conception of ‘Missing Women’ expounded by economist Professor Amartya Sen successful an effort implicit 30 years ago: “A large galore much than a 100 cardinal women are simply not determination due to the fact that women are neglected compared with men”.

The conception of ‘Missing Women’ is astir arsenic aged arsenic I americium and I wonderment however it inactive is not an individual’s but a gendered individual’s world. Gender ever marks its beingness by commission, hardly by omission. Then, I realised that the movie was astir ‘Lost Women’ and not ‘Missing Women’. But it truly is astir ‘Missing Women’.

Phool, you were a young bride who considered it a misdeed to utter your husband’s sanction and past you recovered yourself mislaid connected a railway platform. You dilatory struck up a relationship with Manju Mai, who ran a beverage stall there. Despite her taunts, you dreamt of going backmost to your husband. Even erstwhile she made a almighty connection by asserting that women don’t truly request men, you were incapable to transverse the threshold of the societal conception you grew up in. As acold arsenic you were concerned, your capabilities existed to assistance your husband.

My beloved Phool, erstwhile Manju Mai asked you, “you cognize however to tally a home, but bash you cognize however to scope your home?”, your soundlessness spoke louder than your words. Her connection hits harder erstwhile statistic uncover that, of the women who migrate successful India, astir 81% migrate owed to marriage  — conscionable similar you did, Phool.

Jaya, you narrowly escaped being a ‘Missing Woman’ by being a ‘Lost Woman’. You, similar truthful galore women of ‘marriageable age’, sought immoderate much clip to articulation the mind-numbing contention betwixt the biologic timepiece and the vocation clock. Wanting to prosecute further studies, you escaped your groom. Because of the ‘veil’, you ended up accompanying Phool’s husband, who realised his mistake lone aft the veil was lifted.

You were a ‘Missing Woman’ who would person been anonymised successful society, prevention for your insistence connected asserting who you were. Throats turned adust erstwhile Phool’s mother-in-law told you that successful the process of adapting to the marital family’s likes and dislikes, women hide their ain likes. Is this dependable erosion of individuality not making much ‘Missing Women’? It was heartening to spot you yet nary longer missing oregon lost. And we saw Phool realise that you introduced her to herself.

While your heartwarming stories near maine smiling, a thought lingered: tin we specify Phool arsenic a ‘Missing Woman’ oregon Jaya, had she kept quiet? Can we specify arsenic ‘Missing Women’ each those women oregon girls who instrumentality connected the individuality of a pistillate oregon miss acceptable to nine and hide who they were earlier they got married? Can we accidental that each pistillate who misses retired connected an accidental due to the fact that of the solid ceiling is so a ‘Missing Woman’?

By this account, the fig of missing women whitethorn acold outnumber immoderate estimation till date, for each clip a pistillate fits herself into the mould of an acceptable woman, her authentic aforesaid becomes a ‘Missing Woman’. We are missing erstwhile we are invisible, we are missing erstwhile we are anonymised, we are missing erstwhile our individuality is lost. I learnt we bash not request to place arsenic a ‘woman’ to beryllium missing; if we are invisible successful the societal matrix, we are the ‘missing individuals’, irrespective of our sex identity. The missing women of the 1990s were statistically absent, but today’s missing women are counted. We are missing women, if we are not who we privation to be.

Now that a greater portion of the satellite volition spot you, whitethorn I petition you, Phool and Jaya, to assistance bring different stories to heartwarming conclusions too? Can you delight talk for each the missing women who are not conscionable mislaid but, arsenic Manju Mai said, who bash not cognize wherever they are headed and hence, stay missing? I volition beryllium cheering for you, and I know, you volition beryllium cheering for america each too.

The writer is an IRS officer.

Views expressed are personal.

National Editor Shalini Langer curates the fortnightly ‘She Said’ column