SAUCY SECRETS: I had the 'perfect' first date with a gorgeous man I met on an app... then I found out he'd told me a massive lie. What should I do?

Dear Jana,

I precocious matched with a feline connected a dating app who said helium was 45. I'm 38, and my property scope is acceptable betwixt 38 and 50, but adjacent 50 is simply a agelong arsenic I'm not keen to day anyone person to my Dad's age. 

We had a large clip connected our archetypal day and determination was a existent spark but erstwhile helium mentioned his upcoming birthday, and I said 'so you volition beryllium turning 46' helium revealed helium would really beryllium turning 54, not 46 arsenic I thought. I indispensable person looked shocked because, helium apologized and explained that helium had adjusted his property to widen his dating options.

He has since asked maine connected different day but I'm not definite whether I should go, contempt our large chemistry. Can helium beryllium trusted aft starting disconnected with a lie? I consciousness similar helium tricked maine into it.

Emma

Dear Emma,

You've touched connected my favored hate: men who prevarication astir their age. It's conscionable truthful ick! It feels hopeless to pursuit a younger woman, and it's all-around tragic. So, I would ballot nary to a 2nd date.

However, it sounds similar you had a marvellous time, which makes maine hesitate to archer you to question ta-ta to this guy. Chemistry is hard to travel by, truthful if you've got it, you don't privation to disregard it. How astir telling him that it's onslaught 1 for the lying and that you're surely not impressed? But if helium tin committedness to support things unfastened and honorable from present connected in, you mightiness see different date.

Yes, you're giving him a spot of a pat connected the knuckles, but you're besides mounting a steadfast bound - and ohio however we emotion a bully boundary.

I've learned that sometimes our partners travel successful astonishing packages - ones we didn't person connected our manifestation lists. In your case, a daddy!

So spell person amusive connected that 2nd date, and if worse comes to worst, you tin ever driblet him disconnected astatine his nursing location and person a bully chuckle!

Dear Jana,

My workmate consistently has atrocious breath, and sometimes BO. He's large astatine his occupation and has a fantastic personality, but he's assemblage odour makes it unbearable to speech to him, and I walk meetings holding my enactment truthful I don't suck successful his sweaty stench. On a blistery time the bureau reeks with his sweat. 

Everyone talks astir it down his back, but I would similar to code it truthful helium tin hole it. He's besides perpetually complaining astir being single, and I deliberation helium would person much luck if helium got his smells nether control. How should I bring it up with him without hurting his feelings oregon getting stuck successful a HR meeting?

Anonymous

Dear Anonymous,

That sounds similar my mentation of hell. The stench of halitosis mixed with sweaty assemblage odors virtually makes maine gag, truthful my bosom (and nostrils) spell retired to you.

You could effort thing I did a fewer years agone erstwhile faced with a co-worker who smelled of BO mixed with a hint of bourbon. I subtly handed him a vessel of deodorant (taken from my ain drawer due to the fact that I americium a courteous co-worker who ever comes prepared for those somewhat sweaty days). I didn't accidental anything, I conscionable placed it successful his hand. Yes, helium looked mortified, but erstwhile helium had fixed himself a bully douse of it, helium thanked me. Yes, thanked me.

Sometimes you don't adjacent request words to say, 'Oy, mate, you stink'. Perhaps conscionable spot a toothbrush and immoderate deodorant connected his table and locomotion away. He'll get the connection - nary awkward chat required.

Alternatively, you could bring it up with your HR department, and they could person a quiescent connection with him. They are skilled astatine giving awkward chats, truthful wherefore not fto them grip it?

I deliberation it's conscionable bully manners to support a toothbrush and deodorant astatine your workplace. Can we delight normalise that?

Dear Jana,

Two years ago, I traded successful my boring occupation successful retail to enactment arsenic a high-class escort aft a lawsuit deed maine up and I got paid successful cash. It's fixed maine fiscal state and a champagne lifestyle. I've managed to bargain a house, physique a steadfast nest egg, and mostly unrecorded the life. But there's 1 happening missing, a decent man. 

As soon arsenic I driblet the escort bomb, they tally for the hills. In 2024, is it truly inactive specified a deal-breaker? I'm arrogant of my work, and I've ne'er shied distant from sharing it, adjacent with family. But I'm starting to wonderment if discretion mightiness beryllium a amended option. Any proposal connected navigating this dating minefield?

Candice

Dear Candice,

Oh however I subordinate to your situation! Not successful a 'sell my assemblage for money' sense. Sadly, I thin to lone beryllium lone sexually drawn to broke men. I joke. But arsenic idiosyncratic who besides scares disconnected men owed to my occupation penning astir sexy topics, I recognize wherever you're coming from. It's similar their penises shrivel up astatine the specified notation of a pistillate talking astir the creation of a bully orgasm.

However, let's instrumentality a infinitesimal to see this dilemma your dates constituent of view. If I met the antheral of my dreams and helium revealed that helium sleeps with different women, I'd astir apt person a hard clip sticking around. Like galore people, I don't bask sharing my toys!

So, I deliberation you should research the much open-minded, new-age market. Look for guys who clasp modern thinking, similar a modern hippie vibe. Open relationships mightiness beryllium worthy considering, particularly since, portion you spot your enactment arsenic a job, it does impact intimacy. A batch of it!

It's marvellous that you ain your occupation with pride, but unfortunately, immoderate radical volition inactive person reservations. As frustrating arsenic that is, it's thing we person to accept. Not everyone is arsenic carefree and unreserved arsenic we would similar them to be.

Great guys travel successful each shapes and sizes, truthful possibly being a small much flexible with your dating preferences could help.

And decidedly debar keeping your assemblage a secret; a narration built connected lies is bound to extremity successful disaster. Have you ne'er watched 'Diary of a telephone girl'? Disaster.